Hey. I recently recovered from depression with my medication. Still comes back sometimes, but im not really cutting any more. Im 15. If you have questions about anything, hell, ask me. I've been thru depression, I've been a cutter, I go to high school. Shoot.
Anyways, more about me... umm my name is alyx, im female...check out my xanga. Some feedback would be nice, not because i really care about any of this rating crap, but just because i want to know if my advice is being read....and if its helpful...or not. If you dont like advice i give you, dont get pissed off at me please. Im just a juvinile delienquent who cant spell, not god. Im not totally useless either.
My interests are philosophy, photography, writing, theology, and animals. My family is more then a little disfunctanal so i know how that feels. I value honesty. Sometimes Im blunt, but i try to help. Im not shocked easily. I definately dont try to be a perfect daughter, person, or anything else. I dont claim to. my morals are.... flexible. I do what i think is right by me. And sometimes im amazed because that ends up being higher then plenty of peoples.
The world would be a better place if everyone would just stop preaching at each other and do something useful like donate some money to homeless kids. Kids would learn better if teachers cared more about teaching and less about controlling everyone. Lying isn't necessarily always a bad thing. Killing someone nearly always is. Its impossible to draw a distinct line between good and bad, actions are not people, dont be cruel to animals. Think before you stick a loaded gun into your pocket. Dont buy your wife a vaccume for her anniversery. Dont feed cows meat, you'll start an epedemic. Like i said, Im not god. Its just called Common Sense, people.
Website: My Xanga
E-mail: evilvodoowitch@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 15
AIM: gurlfromthering
Member Since: May 6, 2005
Answers: 20
Last Update: October 22, 2005
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16 male. I honestly think I am going insane. Things just have been building on me my entire life, and they are starting to just break through to the point where I cannot control my own emotions anymore.
It's like last night, everything inside me just exploded. My mom works on pit crew for my band, and she asked me to help unload the truck. Well, I happen to be the only person who uses the truck that has to unload because she is there. It always makes me a bit upset when she asks, but not like last night. Don't mention this, for it is not the issue. If you do, it is a 1.
What happened to me after scared me. I suddenly had flashback after flashback, showing me how un-normal I am. I have overprotective parents, first off, and began wishing things like they'd stop. I am a quiet person, and I wished that I could speak more. I have not had a girlfriend, I wished I could. I wanted my friends to be a bit closer to me. I wanted somebody to actually be interested in what I say, instead of blatently nodding. I wanted my sister back from her present self where she is dating a guy and is so rebellious that I can no longer stand it.
AKA, I wanted to finally be normal. And it has caused so much depression in me these past days... I feel like my life is going south, and I cannot even look north.
What do I do? (link)
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You didnt list any major reasons for you to be so unhappy here, but lots of times feelings of anger, worthlessness, hopelessness, depression, and other emotional problems are really caused by psycological disorders. Im diagnosed with Chronic Depression, and you sound a lot like what i went through. I used to be so shy and insecure around other people that i could barely talk. I never admitted that i could have something mentally wrong with me, i always blamed the way i felt and delt with things on myself and other things and people going on in my life. Feeling misunderstood and taken for granted are often ways of saying that you feel isolated... Im not claiming to know you or say that i know whats going on. But an estamated 1500million have medical reason for feeling the same way you do, and many of them dont know it. You know, by the year 2010 suicide could be the second leading death in america....
I know its hard to believe, but meds acutually do make a difference. Im not a doctor, an im not saying anything for ceratin [u don have to listen to me im crazy] but lots a ppl feel the way you do... talk to someone about it. Maybe you should try seeing a psycologist. I know it sounds stupid, but it could change the way you feel. Good luck ;-)
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I'd like advice with a matter ive often thought about but never done anything about.
Im just turned 50 now. but during my school years I was often bullied, maybe because i was a quiet shy sort of girl at the time. The sort bullying kids make a bee-line for.
But i went through a thoroughly miserable traumatic time throughout my last 2 years of secondary school between 1968 and 1970. Thats age 13 to 15. I was consistently bullied by gangs of other girls, mostly within the same school year, every day of every week. All the time, all year. It was ceaseless and i never had a moments peace from it. It was sometimes the threat of something awful possibly happening that kept me frightened and nervous, but often it became violent, maybe being pushed down stairs at school or literally punched in the face for absolutely no reason at all. All everyone else did was laugh. I was on my own and couldnt do anything about it. I was all the time afraid and introverted.
My parents didnt understand or believe me, neither did anyone else. The teachers did nothing to help.
I ended being sent to court and sent away into a childrens home twice, Once at 14 and then just before i was actually 15 in may of 1970. Each time it was for a period of 3 or 4 weeks. but it was horrendous, i was scared to death. staff tried to give me internal examinations and once i had to stand naked while the homes doctor looked me over, for what reason i dont know, that was so embarassing and humiliating.
And all this simply because i was too frightened to go to school or left during the day before anything else happened to me. Once i was seen outside by the housemaster, Mr Cleary of Plant Hill High School of Blackley in Manchester. He dragged and pushed me around to get me outside the head masters office, I would have willingly gone there if he had just asked me. But as soon as the headmaster came out,instead of asking me whats wrong, he strapped me on my hands. I was so shocked, i suddenly wet my clothing. I then couldnt go into the class room.so i went crying into the wash room and then went home.
Since then i have been affected by no confidence, I cannot mix well with people. I am insecure, nervous. and still after al these years, think of it all the time. It was such a terrible growing up time. I have no self confidence or self esteem at all. People can easily dominate and patronise me and they often do, and i dont know how to deal with it. If i had felt happy and confident during my growing up this would not be happening. I would have the positive life and be able to cope like the rest of my family.
Is there any way i can be paid compensation for what i suffered then, and have suffered since, due to my experiences?I personally believe i should be paid at least four thousand pounds for what i went through. Maybe a couple of thousand for each year i spent each day filled with fear and taken from my home,being punished for being a victim. I suffered through no fault of my own, and i should be helped to have some happiness and contentment now that i am getting older and should be be having some peace now. I would so much appreciate your guidance on this matter. (link)
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Ok, im only 15. but i went through the most horrible things in my elementary school. i know what you mean. its hell. its cruel. Its not fair. i had something wrong with my mucles.Things havent much changed. I didnt have confidence to stand up for myself. I only went to principles office once, and that was because a group of kids who didnt like me were going to try to get me expelled. i cried the whole time. i sought understanding. it wasnt a mistake id ever make again. After i went on to middle school my defect went away. But i was paranoid, terrified, and just about everything you explained.
i started to plan my suicide when i was 14 years old. I unscrewed the blades from pencil sharpeners and used them to slice my arms, wrists, and legs over and over agian. i got anxiety. i suffered severe depression. We had to spend much money sending me to doctors, buying pills from me. my parents punished me for being terrified, and for not wanting to live.
But with pills and a genious psycologist i finally started to heal. And now, at last, im the person i would have been. i have a life, i have strength. And for a long time i had hatred, but it passed. The very people who made my life hell had forgiven me for being different as a child. And in my own way i had forgiven them. Not forgotten, but let go. Theres no use in holding anger and hatred, dont you see? you've let this hurt you all of these years.... i can imagine how hard its been for you. but money wont take that away. if you sue a school board for what happenend to you in the past, you will only be taking money away from other children like the child you used to be.... They were Wrong, and You suffered for it. Yes. But you cant make that right this way... you need to get help with a seasoned psycologist or therepist to talk about what was done to you. You can recover, and learn confidence and peace. You can speak out and make a difference. By speaking out and sharing your experience you could reach out to other kids who go through the same things every day that you went to. But being bitter still after all these years... dont you see that thats only hurting you farther? Yes, in an ideal world you could be compensated. But the world isnt perfect. Its not even fair. YOU have to take back your life, and moeny has nothing to do with it.
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ok so i cut, so obviously im depressed. i cant decide if i should go to a psychologist and have them give me anti-depressants, or if i should just go to our family doctor and get some from him. what do you think? i dont want my parents in the same room as me if i went to the doctor, so how would i do that? id feel bad if i said i dont want my parents to come in, but is that what im supposed to do? is the doctor going to ask me questions? and would i have to show him my cuts? their really teeny and a little red, so they really arent that noticable, but would he still give me anti-depressants? im not wanting anti-depressants just for my cutting, i am depressed so i have other problems other than cutting. thank youuuu (link)
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Ive been there. If i were you i would got to your psycologist rather then your doctor. If you see your psycologist she will refer you to a pysciatrist which is like a doctor, AND a shrink. He will specialize medicine and depression. That way he'll know all about cutting and stuff. Normal doctors often dont know anything about psycology and they think they do and they say the stupidist things that make you want to kill them like 'this cutting is very immature and stupid' or they'll refer you to a nut house for 'trying to kill yourself' its crazy i swear. Also, they almost anyways agree with youre parents. So i'd stick with the pycologist. good luck.
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17/f ..all the time i cry..about little things and i get upset very easily sometimes i jsut sit in the bathroom and cry...i think about my life and whats going on and i just break down..does anybody know what i can do.or have an idea whats wrong? please help i rate high (link)
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i guess you probably have depression, unless your just really overwhelmed by things at school right now. I had really bad depression too, and i dealt with it in a really bad way before i finally got help. When my parents sent me to a teenager psycologist i fought them as much as i could. But now that im on medication everything is so much better then it was before. Its a disease, and it NEEDS treatment, or it will just get worse on its own. Its not really that anything specifically can be WRONG with your life, its caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It can start at any time and age. Sometimes, its triggered by a tramautic event/time in your life. Sometimes its triggered by nothing at all. Talk to your parents about it, or your school counserlor. I know that sounds so embarrassing or awkward, but your not going to get better alone. You need help. Dont be ashamed, and your not alone. Millions of people just like you have the same problem. :-)
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