upsidedown001's advice column | upsidedown001's Advice About Love Life

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Q: Idk what to do anynore! Should I stay with him? We fight so much, he's insecure. He doesn't trust me. He doesn't like going out, he's very insecure. He always check up on my myspace. Complain's about my picture's if it's not US, I admit I did once but for the reason I thought he wanted us to be a secret so I felt bothered but now, I really can care less. I don't know, I'm so confused. I feel bitter and I'm not as happy. But when I let him go, I feel lonely and empty, I get depressed and then I sleep it off to get away from reality I love him, he's amazing but his attitude really sucks. Help? Anyone.

I personally think if he makes you that unhappy then you need to move on. I know that you love him but if he really loved you than he would want to make you happy. You deserve to be happy. So move on and date new people. There are good guys out there.

Q: this is going to sound stupid, but i'm a 14 year old girland i want to find love. i think i have a picture in my mind of the boy i want and i think my standards might be too high because everytime i find something that might have a shot, i push the boy away. should i wait for the right boy and stop looking or the other way around?

Dont totally lower your standards but you need to give the guys a chance. Every girl has that perfect image of the dream guy, but you never know, you might find that while with a guy he becomes a new form of dreamy. And while looking for the boy of your dreams, you might pass up some great guys.

Q: i'm 18 years old and i have a lisp, not the kind you usually hear but the kind when you talk and sh and ch sound different, and people always make fun of me. i've never had a boyfriend and i think that it's horrible, i always feel like i want to die because no guys like me. i don't think i'm ugly lots of people tell me i'm pretty some even say i'm beautiful and i do have some very good friends. but why don't guys like me?? i just don't know what is wrong with me besides my lisp.

I believe that there is at least one person for everyone in this world. Dont stress about age because everyone is different. There is a person out there for you and that person will not care about a lisp but love you for you. Be confident that you are you.

Q: Hi guyz im meg. Im really confused about this guy i really like. His names is kris and ive known and been friends with him for about 3 months. Ive been attracted to him the day i met him but we never said how we felt about eachother until about 6/7 weeks ago. He told me he really likes me && his friends have told me he likes me. Yet 4 some reason im still questioning if he does or not.

Basically we kiss and cuddle when we are together. Sometimes i think yea he likes me and other times i think he doesnt (for example, when hes with his friends he will sometimes ignore me and focus on his friends) Im not the kind of person who wants attention all the time, i love him being with his friends. But sometimes he will be moody with me for no reason, and he does this regularly(usually when hes drunk) Does this mean he doesnt like me as much anymore? Im really confused and its upsetting me bcoz i really like him =(

Tell him how you are feeling. Relationships always have to have balance, like with bf/gf and friends. Say how it really hurts that he ignores you when hes with his friends. See how he reacts. If it goes bad, move on. And if it goes good, than great.

Q: So I was in this relationship with this guy.
He was perfect, but we ended it.
We barely saw each other.
The day we broke up, he went to his friend's house,
because he was upset.
His friend, who is a girl, confessed her feelings for him, which continued with him asking her out.
They had sex that night, as well.
I don't believe in pre-marital sex,
yet, he does.
very, very much so.
Anyways, we got into another right because
he kept saying how amazing she was compared to me,
and blah blah blah.
So we stopped talking.
On my birthday, he texted me.
And we became friends, again.
We talk on the phone every night, since then.
Later the next day,
his girlfriend broke up with him.
She wanted to be single for the summer.
(What a hoe, right?)
He was pretty upset,
so while we were talking that night,
he was venting.
He told me he loves me, but doesn't want me.
And he doesn't love her, but wants her.
I'm still in love with him, and he knows.
But, What should I do?
I'm so confused.
HELP.

He is using you and her. He likes her cause of the physical things and you for your personality. You need to tell him that he needs to choose because he cant have both of you. And if he decides that it is you, he has to know that you are not having sex until marriage. If he picks the other girl than he wasnt good enough for you anyway. good luck

Q: Alrightie then...Im 15 years old and am currently dating a very sweet 16 year old boy whom I love with my whole heart! We have been dating for 6 months and he is truly the first love of my life. But unfortunatley he is a Buddhist and I am a Christian. My parents want me to marry a Christian man. They have asked me what religion he is, and when they do I simply bring up the fact that he is in a Christian rock band called Shy of Divinity (www.shyofdivinity.com) So I guess they just Assumed he was a Christian. I have a feeling that sooner or later Im going to have to tell them the that he is a Buddhist. How am I going to break it to them, and when is a good time???

~thanx for the help~

I think what you have to do is tell your parents the truth. It is obviously bothering you so you should tell them, but dont just go out and say,"My boyfriend is a buddist". Next time they ask about religion, explain that he means a lot to you and it would mean the world if they could repect your choice to choose who you want to date. If they love you i think that they will try to understand.

Q: I was in a very, very close relationship with a guy last summer. We were in a committed relationship for five months. I was 18, now I'm 19. He was 20, now he's 21. It was our both first real relationship. It seemed perfect.

Anyways, he broke up with me in August. It seemed out of the blue. I cried a lot and was very depressed. In September, we got together because I hoped that we could start a relationship again. He ended up using me for sex and then ignored me. This happened again in late October because I still missed him. So he used me twice, basically.

Then in late December, he contacted me again. This time, I told him that I wanted friendship or a relationship and nothing in between. Of course, he stopped talking to me. Then I moved on.

Last week (June 13), he texted me. He said he beats himself up every day for messing up our relationship. He said he misses me. I told him that I'm still not interested in hooking up. He said he doesn't want that: he wants another chance. So we met up in person. I told him that I don't trust him at all, and that if I do give him another chance, there won't be any sex for a looong time. He said that that is fine, because he just wants to be in a relationship with me again. He said he wants to take it slow and not jump into a relationship, but ease back into it. He said he wishes he could do anything to get my trust back.

What do I do? Please help me. I want to give him another chance because I really had feelings for him, but I can't get hurt by him again, and I'm not sure if I've moved on completely.

I think that you need to move on. He obviously doesnt care about you as much as he saiys he does if he used you twice. He shouldnt expect that you can forgive him after all that he has done to you. You need to start fresh, get away from him and try not to be tempted to try to get things started again. You deserve better.

Q: Is it okay to kiss my g/f on her forehead while we hug? Would she find that weird or ok? I love her a lot and want to show more affection for her. I don't want to make her uncomfortable or unhappy though. What are your thoughts on a guy kissing his girlfriend on the forehead?

it is really cute. go for it.

Q: hey im 16 and im a male, girls.....this one is for you, is a guy being to nice to you a good thing or a bad thing, nice to a point where hes a real gentleman, opening doors for you, wlaking you to the door step, paying for your ticket and maybe sometimes dinner, depends on the occasion, is that a turn on or turn off about a guy, i thought it was a turn on???

Definately a turn on. But you have to think about who you want to attract. If your into nice and polite girls, then they are going to be attracted to that. If that is your goal,then you are doing nothing wrong.

Q: Hey I'm 14/m and i still haven't ever kissed a girl outside my family.... I feel kinda out of place here because I'm already in high school and ive never kissed.... is there something wrong with me?

Do not worry about it, im in the same boat. I'm 16 and still havent kissed a guy. You have plenty of time to get your first kiss. If you think about it, you will get kissed in your lifetime. so dont stress.