hello everyone. first, thanks to everyone for the great ratings and feedback. i truly appreciate it. i love to help, in whatever way i can, and i like to think i can offer a unique opinion on issues, whatever they may be. feel free to ask me anything, i will try my best to give you the best answer i can. peace out.
E-mail: tiffanyblair@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Truro, Nova Scotia
Age: 22
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Member Since: July 12, 2006
Answers: 35
Last Update: August 2, 2006
Visitors: 3710
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Here's the situation, me and this guy have been going steady for 4 weeks, we've been on 3 dates he lives 30 minutes away we met on myspace and I guess you could say that we're both "interested" in eachother. The problem is that I feel like I want this relationship more than he does. It seems as if i'm always the one who makes plans for us to go do something and I feel that he holds no initiative when it comes to us. It is both our first time in a male-male relationship and yet I feel like i'm more ready for an "us" than he is and when I asked him where he thinks this relationship is going all I get are "idk" and "wherever 'we' want it to go" which I think is very cliche. Also, i'm out to most my friends and family and he is getting there he just hasn't told his mother, however, some parts of his immediate family like his older sister and brothers want to change him and make him "straight." Amongst that whenever I want to come over to his house when he's feeling down he won't let me and keeps me at a distance and it just bugs the hell out of me. Also, we talked last night on AIM and it basically killed me talking to him because I'm just so confused about "us" so I told him that I was depressed (which I was do to him and just pondering about "us") and I started to cry... well I told him that and just ended the conversation by saying," I can't take this I just can't." Then I signed off and cried myself to sleep and he knew I was crying and still he didn't try and call me to cheer me up... All he did was just message me on myspace and was like, "I know our last date didn't turn out very well, but me and Stephanie were planning on watching a movie on Thursday and I was wondering if you wanted to come." I just don't know what I should do because everytime he plans a date it's always with one of his friends and it makes me feel just like another friend. So the question I keep asking myself is whether or not the only reason why i'm keeping him is because I like the idea of saying that I have a boyfriend as opposed to actually having a boyfriend... if that makes any sense. Thanks if you can help me out and sorry this quesiton was so long. (link)
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i agree that maybe he's just not ready for his first male-male relationship to become an actual relationship. he's still dealing with who he is, and being accepted for who he is. give it some more time, and if things don't change, talk to him. he might have some problems with committing too, so maybe thats why he's holding back. maybe he hasn't fully accepted who he is, or maybe he still isn't sure. it could be any number of things, and your best bet is to just tell him how you feel, face to face, or on the phone. maybe you could let him read your question..he might not even be aware of how hurt you really are. often, things that are so clear to us can go unnoticed by our loved ones. so don't overreact, don't get too attached, and just take it day by day. good luck! i really hope things work out for you.
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my boyfriend is a cousin ov mine.we have been together for one year and are mad about each other.just lately we have been arguing alot and he has started to get paranoid about us been seen together. im really scared of losing him. does he love me or not?
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My grandparents were cousins, and not one of their nine children were mentally challenged. It is horrible to assume so and say that.
if he's paranoid about being seen with you, he's not comfortable in the relationship anymore. sorry to say it, as hard as it is, it's a pretty big warning sign. you should talk to him about it...his feelings may have changed, or maybe not. you'll never know unless you ask.
i wish you the best, and remember, some people may say some horrible things about your relationship, but they don't matter. if it's love, that's all that counts.
good luck
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My boyfriend and i recently got into a huge fight (again). It started because he was joking about buying cars, then said he would by me a hummer. He completely ignored the fact that my cousin was killed by one only 2 years ago. He claimed that he didnt know about it, but we've been together for almost 14months now, its almost impossible that i never told him. anyway, from there he got really pissed off at me and everything hes been mad at me for started coming out. He told me that he hates that im working full time, going to summer school, and preparing for my moms wedding that is in 8 days. His biggest complaint about them was that i have no time for him. He also told me that he doesnt want me hanging out with people from work. (we worked till 3 am one night then went out to denny's for food) He kept saying things like "i do so much for you, i always make time for you, i try to please you so much and i get nothing back" which is a total exaggeration. At that point i asked him, do you want me to quit my job? drop out of summer school? im not asking you to please me, i just hoped you'd love me. Then he said the big line, "I dont know how to love you"
What do i say to that? how am i suppose to react to him now?
we havnt talked for a week. he keeps going on about how much of a wreck he is, but ive been crying every night. I realize that we are both at fault for this, but i dont know how im supposed to feel about hearing that after he told me he loves me so many times before.. (link)
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it sounds like he kind of exploded all at once, doesn't it? i'm hoping he said those things in the heat of the moment, because some of what he said could be considered possessive and abusive. don't get all freaked out, he's probably not meaning it that way, but if he is telling you that he doesn't want you hanging out with your friends from work, that is wrong. he can not tell you who to hang out with, and if he says other things like that, please consider the fact that some day it could get more serious. it's not physical abuse, but it could be emotional abuse. no matter how upset with you he was, he didn't really have the right to say that to you. sounds like he forgot about your cousin's death, so you should let that go. he wasn't with you when it happened, he probably doesn't realize how sensitive the subject is.
he misses you, he just wants to spend time with you. you should consider the ways you can spend time with him. try to make more room in your life for him.
if you get into fights a lot, you should think about the reasons why. what are the fights about? are they always about the same thing? have any been successfully resolved? consider your answers to those questions, and you will know what you have to do. good luck..:)
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This is going to be super long...
Me and my boyfriend of about 7 and a half months broke up at the beginning of the week because he's leaving for a 9 month missions trip to Africa in 2 months. We were taking it way too seriously emotionally, contsantly disagreeing on things and just generally not doing too well. The breakup was mutual because even though we agreed the decision sucked, it is what's best for both of us right now. We resolved to be friends until he returned from Africa and try being together again when he gets back. So I turned around my claddagh ring (an Irish promise ring that kind of shows what your status is in relationships, I got one from him for Valentine's Da), put everything he ever gave me (cards, roses and other flowers that were now dead, poems and a few other things) away where I couldn't see them and basically cried until it was time for me to get up to go to work the next day. The next day I felt just kind of numb inside. Two days later he called me and then came over for a few hours to just hang out. We were having a great time, laughing and acting like the kids that we keep forgetting we are, like we used to. But the whole time I kept getting those painful stabs of missing him and I had to keep reminding myself that we weren't together anymore and that I couldn't randomly kiss him anymore. Everytime we've said goodbye since the breakup he kisses my cheek or my forehead or my neck and it hurts even more. There will be those moments where I'll catch him staring at me or vice versa and we both know what the other one is feeling and thinking, still even then. Since we've broken up we've hung out two or three times and the whole idea of being best friends again is going really really well. I have no problem with it at all I guess I just need help with getting used to it. Anybody have any suggestions? (link)
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Ever hear the saying "time heals all wounds"? This is true for your situation. It may be really hard now, and it will be hard for a while, but it will get better. If it is painful for you when you hang out with him, maybe you should take a break from that for a while. It's just a feeling I have, but if he's still kissing you goodbye, even if it's everywhere but your mouth, he still has feelings for you. 9 months is a long time, but maybe it's a good thing for you. The time apart will help you realize where you want the relationship to go when he gets back. You will both have matured a bit, and realized more who you are as individuals, instead of who you are as a couple. All I can tell you is that you should do what your heart is telling you. Maybe you should talk to him again about it before he leaves, or you'll have to wait 9 months to say what's on your mind. If you can sense that he still has feelings for you, and if you have feelings for him, you need to sort them out before he leaves the continent. As to what to do to get used to being just friends with him, maybe hang out in a group, instead of alone. There will be more distractions to keep you from thinking about how it used to be all the time. Go to a movie, and get distracted with that. Or just do something really fun, like go-karts or something. And if it is painful to you when he kisses you, ask him not to do it anymore, and tell him why. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you.
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My name is Justine, I am 14 and in one month 15, and female
I really like my moms ex-best friends son and I have known him all my life but I am not alowed to see him anymore. He likes me and I like him, but he moved to far away. We sneek around just so we can see each other but its not enough. We call ourselves friends with benifets, but the truth is I am in love with him but I dont know if I should tell him. Hes been my friend for so long, and I dont want to ruin our friend ship just because how I feel What do I do? Do I tell him how i feel any possibly dont talk to him for a long time, or do I keep me Fellings locked inside of me? (link)
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i understand the strong feelings you and john have for each other, but at the same time, it's a little early to start planning marriage. i think you should just enjoy your relationship for now, and let what happens happen. if your parents disapprove, prove to them that it's right for you to be together. approach them maturely, and calmly. don't get all dramatic, that will just make things worse. approach this situation like an adult, and chances are, you will be treated as such. your parents may think that you are too young for such feelings, that it's just hormones, or just a phase or just some sort of crush... they could be right, but they also need to know that it's something the two of you need to figure out on your own. maybe you could let them read your question, and the answers that follow...it might be a good way to "break the ice" to open up the conversation. things will work out the way they are supposed to, and i wish you the best.
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I still love my ex boyfriend Dean. he wants to go back out with me maybe but i hardly ever talk to him so its kinda hard. my friend Cody i think likes me. i like him too and i would go out with him but i still love dean. and another guy named Cody (we'll call him Cody2) that i work with, i like him ALOT! and i would really REALLY like to go out with him. and I would go out with him in a heartbeat but I dont know if he likes me. we talk alot at work but were not exactlly real good friends. I like all three of these guys and I know Dean wants me back, Cody i think likes me, and the Cody2 might like me. out of all these guys i like Dean the most. i like Cody2 the second most, and Cody i do really like him but not as much as the other two. I talk to Cody more than either of them. i see Cody2 more than eitehr of them too. (Dean lives in Polo and Cody lives in Oak Grove (I live in Kansas City (all the citys are in missouri))) Cody2 calls me alot Cody talks to me all the time at work but I hardly ever see or talk to Dean. I dont know which guy to go out with. but keep in mind that I really like all these guys but i still love Dean. (link)
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you've answered your own question, honey. You like the two Codys, but yOU LOVE Dean... there's your answer. If it is real love, you will find a way to see him and talk to him.
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16/f
i've never had a real relationship. im not fat, or ugly. i have a lot of friends but i can't seem to find a guy for me. every time i meet one, they sweet talk, and i fall for them and they get what they want out of me and then leave me. i fall for it everytime and i hate it because i am a mess because of it. i started doing really stupid things because im getting depressed. i hate that fact that i did that and im changing. but im still depressed. will i ever find someone for me? it seems all of my friends have found their special someone. whats wrong with me?? i dont want to be an easy peice of ass. but i am. i dont mean to be it just happens because all they need to do is tell me im beautiful and i cant say no. im longing for someone to care for me. and anyone i trust, they betray me.
help, or anything would be greatly appreiciated.
xo (link)
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i think you need to stop looking for mr. right. you need to take a break from it, and just have time for you. i hate to say it, but if word is getting around that you're easy, then that is why guys are using you. of course they're going to tell you you're beautiful if they know they'll get what they want from you. an easier way to tell if a guy means what he says is to make him wait. if he stays with you, and waits, then you'll know he wants to be with you in more than just a sexual way. if you never hear from him again, you'll know he only wanted sex, and you'll also know you're better off without him. you are not a slut, you're not a whore. you are looking for love, and although you're doing it in the wrong way, you deserve to be loved. the right guy will come along. you're only 16, you have plenty of time to find mr. right. it's a good sign that you say you're changing,because that means you still value yourself. you need to realize that if you keep on the way you are, you could end up pregnant or diseased. for your own sake, take a break from romance, join a school club, or volunteer somewhere during the summer, or get a part time job. it will help keep you busy, and introduce you to even more people and friends who will value you, and help you realize that you're worth being valued for who you are, and not what you do. take care, and please be careful.
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So there's this guy at work (we're both 17) that I really like. When ever we work together, I always talk to him, sit with him on my break and stuff. My other 2 friends that work with him in his department keep joking around that we should hook up, which makes me wonder if he talks about me or has told them something. I also don't want it to get out that I like him because he's a good friend of mine and i don't want it to be weird at work if i did make a move or if he knew I liked him. I gave him my e-mail address 30 days ago, so like a month ago, and he never did anything with it. no e-mails or anything. so i don't know if he does actually like me like that and i would prefer not to have to tell anyone about it 'cause i don't want him to find out......
What should I do??¿?? (link)
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Hooking up with someone you work with can be awkward, and really exciting too! I've done it, once it ended badly, second time, well, we're still together... :) But if you like him, let him know. Guys can be pretty dense sometimes when it comes to signals and stuff, so maybe this time instead of your email address, give him your phone number, or ask for his. Just because he hasn't done anything with your email address doesn't mean he doesn't like you. Maybe he lost it, or maybe he doesn't have the internet, or something boring like that. If he doesn't know that you like him, he won't pursue it. But if you know that he likes you, and he knows that you like him, it will only be a matter of time before you hook up. If he doesn't like you, then at least you'll know, and you can try to move on.
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