Hey! I am Shianne! i can honestly say that i am completely sure that i can help you with any problem! this is what i do...ive help many people and ive done some amazing things!!
shianne
E-mail: y0or-honeediip@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Lynn Ma.
Occupation: Councelor
Age: 18
Member Since: February 1, 2005
Answers: 34
Last Update: March 16, 2006
Visitors: 3457
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I'm a sophomore in high school and sometime during my freshman year, I lost interest in boys my own age (and, for that matter, boys even remotely close to my age) and became interested in men. I was sure that it was a phase that all girls go through but I've found that I can't get over it and I'm totally unattracted to men that aren't at least eight years older than I am. I haven't pursued my interest in older men because I'm aware that I'm underaged and I could get a man into trouble but I feel like this interest is crippling me socially. I don't think I could EVER date a boy close to my age because I'm just not attracted to them but if I'm going to have to wait until I'm eighteen to find someone I'm really attracted to, should I just settle for someone close to my age? Is it normal for young woman to want men that much older than they are? (link)
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hey! yes...to answer your question! it is extremely common for a young girl to have a desire to date older men. the reasons actually are deeper than the surface and has alot to do with our "relative mind" i did alot of studying of dianetics and thats where this comes to play and i wont get into it because its very complex and confusing psychology work but to be brief about it,,,it is common and your not out of the norm! however the problem is,,,yes you can get older men into trouble! think of this...why wouldnt you want to date someone who is closer to your stage in life? honestly...dating someone who is at the age when they should be starting a career and you havent even graduated high school yet is a bad idea! in the long run it will not work out for the better, if you are not interested in guys your age right now thats ok...date someone a few years older or a few years mature! maybe a nice college boy! go for it...
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ok well there's this guy i like his name is kevin and he's a sophmore at mah school... and ya well the problem is that he only likes me as a friend.. but i still like him.. and now his friends make fun of me. and now we're still friends. but for some reason i hate him sometimes and other times i juz really like him !! and i've tried to get over him but i can't cuz like i c him after every class period!? so i dunno what to do!!! HELP ME pleese. (link)
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Hi! Well I hear what you are saying...it makes perfect sense, you like a guy that likes you as a friend and you both have different feelings for eachother,,,the reason you probally feel like you hate him sometimes is because we automatically get negative feelings towards someone or something that causes us stress...even if its someone we love...the best thing to do is try your hardest to be able to remain friends with him. if you are 100% sure that you both will never amount to more than a friendship then you need to decide if you can even remain friends with him, if not then you should be straight up honest about it. tell him that you have stronger feelings for him and that friends isnt enough for you...but if friendship is enough then stay friends with him...65% of girls have fallen for a friend...it happens and many times its because we confuse our feelings sometimes but you will get over it,,,if i didnt answer this correctly or you want to know more...just email me or ask me another question on my column sweetie! good luck and remember things always move forward!!!
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what exactly does it mean to be friends with benefits? like what is different about it than being b/f and g/f? thanks (link)
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friends with bnefits is like being bf and gf with no strings attatched...for some people this is great and they love it...but its also an easy way to get hurt if you are both not on the same page..
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My boyfriend, Ed, and I been together for almost 8 months but we dated for a month before that. He is 18 and I'm 17. Everything was pretty good the 1st few months, few fights but nothing major. Then it seems as we hit the 6 month mark everything went way down. His family doesn't think I'm good enough, the have called me a slutty whore, cum dumpster, conceited, high mantience. At 1st, my boyfriend would stick up for me but then his siblings told their mom that we had sex infront of them and that I tried to seduce the 13 year old brother. Both of which are not true. So I was told I was not allowed to call or go over their house. Its been hard but we have dealt with it, but now Ed, is being a lot meaner to me. He'll blow off plans with me, show up 3 hours late, it seems everything is up to him. His friends hate me, he is nice when its just me and him, but add any of his friends and he's an ass. I love him and I lost my virginity to him and he is also my best friend. But I can't take this anymore. I;m sick of him blowing me off and only hanging out with me when he has nothing better to do. Do you think I should stay with him and try and work this out or just say fuck it and move on. One last thing, I hate being alone so I think the reason I have held on for so long is because I don't want to be lonely. (link)
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hey sweetheart...ur in an extremeley difficult situation! the stress your going through must be exhausting! first of all you need to ask yourself if you are sure you love him enough to continue to go through the struggle to be with him and get through the fact that you do not have the acceptance of his friends and family. if the answer to that question is yes...you need to have a talk with him and see what is going on. you need to find out if there is a specific problem then you need to find out why that is. on the other hand if you dont feel the love is worth it..or if you know in your heart it isnt going to work out,..then you need to get yourself out of the relationship which will be difficult but may save u from future pain. i understand you do not want to be lonely but maybe its time for you to learn how to be happy with yourself and learn that you dont need a man in your life to feel loved and unlonely.this is the perfect oppurtunity to make big decisions in your life and find out whats best for you.
i wish u the best of luck...bless you!!
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I have been dating this boy his name is Lynn, for about 6 months but we broke up about 2 weeks ago, and he wanted me to change because he said that i was getting to attached or somehting and that we needed to work on how we always fight. So I've been working really hard and I've changed a lot because I've been talking to my counsuler at school about other problems going on and that has taken a lot of stress off of me and I've changed so much but I still am in love with him so much and he tells me that we will get back together but he don't know when i can't wait much longer I just miss him and i need him back! What do I do? I am 14 and I'm female (link)
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I think at this point what you need to do is strengthen yourself up enough to learn to let him go! i know its hard but you need to stop waiting and hurting for him! If you become less unhappy and move on...you'll feel better and he might gain respect for you and want you back and then you can decide if you want him back or not! everyone wants what they cant have! thats why you want him so bad! so switch roles...good luck!
keep me posted!
shianne
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Hey you guys!
MiSSc here, OK so here's an update from me...I have a boyfriend now and we've been going out for a month. He asked me out on Valentines Day too. I love my boyfriend so much!! He's everything that I wanted in a guy. Exactly everything that I've ever wanted in a guy! I thought I was in love many times before, but now I know that it wasn't true love. But this time I think I finally found the one for me, even my mom thinks so and our friends too. But I'm only 15, we will both be turning 16 soon. Do you think that its possible to find love so young? (link)
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It seems like you are very happy. but it also seems like maybe your a little confused. you should maybe stop asking yourself all these complicated questions. its great that your boyfriend does all these great things for you and makes you happy! and hopefully you will experience this for a long time! however, if you dont get married...or you two break up...dont think that it is the end of the world because it really isnt! and maybe you 2 will make it through everything and end up getting married,,.anythings possible! or maybe where as you both are so young...you might eventually take a break may it be for personal reasons...or college or whatever the case may be. i wish you the best of luck with him and i hope you remain happy with your love life no matter what happens..but dont dwell on the what ifs!
good luck
shianne
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Ive met this great man and we get along in all aspects, but from the start he has said hes not sure about a relationship because of his past. Hes been so hurt and has built this huge wall around him. I have made it clear from the beginning that i do want a relationship. Who doesnt want to be loved as long as its with the right person? He has just recently figured out that i have started having feelings for him and it scares him. Now im scared of how honest to be with him about it because i dont want to lose him from my life, hes also a great friend. On the other hand i wish there was something i could do to get him to see how great we would be in a relationship. Help me, ive been seriously hurt in the past as well and i dont like this feeling i have in my stomach. What should i do? I am 33 years old and hes 36 and we both have children from previous relationships. (link)
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Sometimes its hard when two people are on opposite sides of the fence in a relationship. you can still be honest with him without scaring him. take things slow and let him know that you are willing to be patient. give him time. once someone is hurt its hard to trust people again. it sounds like he cares about you if he was willing to open up to you! dont give up to soon if this is something that you really want. however, if you feel like you are expecting way to more out of this situation than he is...maybe you should reconsider some things...to avoid being hurt ten times worse in the long run!
good luck!
shianne
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To Hard to belive i went to paris and in the 4 days i was there 3 amazing things happened i got my 1st boyfriend (he asked me out in Versailles in the hall of mirrors) The next day I turned 14 and then on the 12 hour plane ride back I got my first kiss. Is that to hard to belive? Or am i just thinking it is and over reacting. I just dont no what to do and i am new at this but how can i make a move??
So what i am asking is:
Is this to much and to overwhealming?
How can i make a move
14f and he is also 14 almost 15 (link)
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wow what a trip! awesome! well call him up and make plans! but just let nature take its course dont rush things! this is your first boyfriend and you need to experience a relationship and how it takes time to work! your still young so dont fool yourself! love takes time it could be years before you feel it but just stay confortable and relax! have fun!
shianne
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I have a problem with boys, none of them like me. If one of my friend's tells a boy I like them they pretend to gag and stuff. Well I was at a dance and there was this really hot boy and my friend asked him to dance with me and he said no so my other friend asked him and he said I have a girlfriend as an excuse to not make me feel upset. What can I do to get boys to like me? (link)
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HEY! DONT FOCUS ON GETTING BOYS TO LIKE YOU! REMEMBER THAT BOYS MATURE ALOT SLOWER THAN GIRLS. I KNOW BOYS SEEM LIKE ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE BUT YOU NEED TO FIND WAYS TO PUT IT LAST ON YOUR LIST! EVENTUALLY YOU WILL BE AROUND BOYS WHO HAVE MATURED AND WANT O BE WITH GIRLS FOR WHO THEY ARE. RIGHT NOW THEY ARE SCARED OF GIRLS AND GO AFTER THINGS THAT SHOULDNT MATTER. TRY MAKING SOME GOOD GIRL OR GUY FRIENDS TO HANG OUT WITH AND MAYBE YOU'LL REALIZE YOU CAN HAVE FUN WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND! JUST STAY POSITIVE! EVEN THE PRETTIEST GIRLS HAVE TROUBLE FINDING BOYFRIENDS! SO STAY STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL AND LET IT SHINE THROUGH! AND JUST KEEP THINKING ABOUT the fact that eventually a day will come when boys will interact much better! you have all the time in the world, be patient!
GOOD LUCK,
YOURS TRULY,
SHIANNE
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Ok well i came on a trip to my cuzins house and i met his friend Robie well Robie is very cute and now i am going out wit him.Well that is all good and all for while i am here but ten again i live in California and he lives in Oklahoma. I am afraid that this is not going to work out but i want it to sooooo bad because i hella like him but what should i do i am considering moving back here but idk if i can so please help me!!! (link)
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Hello! LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE VERY HARD. I WOULDNT CONSIDER MOVING BACK TO OKLAHOMA SOULY DUE TO ROBBIE! IF YOUR HAPPY WHERE YOU LIVE AND HAVE ALREADY ESTABLISHED A LIFE WHERE YOU ARE...DONT THROW IT AWAY OVER A RELATIONSHIP THAT JUST BEGAN! MAYBE YOU AND ROBBIE SHOULD HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP. I KNOW YOU FEEL SAD BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE AROUND HIM AND HE IS FAR AWAY! WRITE AND CALL HIM FREQUENTLY. ODDS ARE HE WILL ALSO WANT TO HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU BOTH CAN SEE OTHER PEOPLE. IF YOU FEEL THAT DEEPLY ABOUT MOVING BACK THERE.,.THINK HARD AND LONG ABOUT IT! AND COME UP WITH AT LEAST 5 OTHER REASONS WHY YOU WOULD MOVE THERE BESIDES HIM!
GOOD LUCK,
SHIANNE
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okay so I'm 14 f. I haven't had a boy firend yet, is that weird. See I'm in french immersion, and theres only lik 3 guys in it and there nerds. so all of my friends are nerds. I moved here last year so I don't really no many other people, but still. I mean, I've been asked out a lot, but that was at my old school and I was in grade 5-6-7 so "going out" with someone was just holding their hand in school, so I don't count that. Is it sad that I've never been on a REAL date? How can I change? (link)
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Hello!I know you feel like will never be on a real date but you do have to be patient! Eventually you will find someone you like and they will like you back! I know u feel hopeless but we all go through it, but being a teenager brings enough stress as it is...so why add more nonsense that isnt even necessary??? You'll meet ppl! join a club or a sport! Meet new ppl! Even girls...hanging out with new friends will keep your mind off it and may help u get a date! Good luck and dont stress...your dating days are around the corner!
yours truly,
shianne
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all my friends have boyfriends right now.. i feel so sad because i dont. im always around them with their boyfriends and see how loved they are. i just got out of a long relationship and miss just the feeling of being told "i love you" or just the feeling of being held in that special guys arms. i feel lonely and ive tried looking. theres no one for me to go out with that i like. please help before i go into a depression.
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Sometimes its hard to watch your friends experience something you arent! All i can say is dont rush things at the moment... why not enjoy your freedom! get a job...go shopping! spend time with single friends! focus on yourself right now and spend time making yourself happy! be a positive person and your optimism will shine through and will be noticed by others! they will see how much u take care of yourself and will wanna be around u! u will have a hunnie in no time at all!
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