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advice
Ok, so here's the story.
I'm 17, a senior in high school, and I just can't stop thinking about this girl I like.
Over the summer I was lifeguarding with her in a camp upstate, we both lived on the same grounds so we saw eachother every day. For the first week or so that I was there we seriously hit it off, we talked to eachother for what seemed like hours, went on walks to the horse ranch nearby, and so on. Then for a little while she just suddenly stopped talking to me for the next 2 weeks, I confronted her about it and she told me that I had been acting a lot like my roommate, who in her opinion was a major tool. We made up and continued being friends, just we never got as close as we were that first week we met.
Over the course of the summer I found out she kinda had this guy who she liked, and he like her(a lot apparently) but because he had strict parents they couldn't go out, I got some hints over the summer that she might go out with me, and she even told me the fact that this guy can't go out with her wouldn't stop her from going out with other guys.
I can't stop thinking about her, it's getting really frustrating, it's been about 5 months since we met and I guess we are friends(we talk occasionally, I rarely see her though), I really want to be with her, but I seriously don't wanna kill a good friendship and make things awkward.
So my question is, is there anything I can do to make a move at going out with her? Or should I just leave it as it is, and get over it as best I can?
P.S. We don't go to the same school but live in the same area, she's one grade below me(but like 3 months younger)
P.P.S. Sorry I reposted this, last time apparently I did it anonymously.
TELL HER!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell her. As a girl, that is all you need to do. Tell her.
I'm black, and for some reason most of the guys I crush on end up being white. I've grown up in diverse areas, but with mainly white people and asians. My family is African, and most of the other black people I've known growing up have been either extended family or family friends, so none of the guys would be seen as potential romantic interests. I did like one guy in elementary school, but he ended up switching schools. And someone like Jimi Hendrix attracts me too, cause I'm into "underground" music and he just seemed to be with that whole mentality, too. I've been attracted to a few black guys I've seen at concerts, too, but unfortunately I only see those kinds of guys at concerts, and then I'd be too afraid to approach them unless we were like around each other, lol. In all honesty, I haven't felt very warm interactions with many other black people, I guess for not being "stereotypical" (apart from the African ones in my extended family, but even they sometimes think I'm weird), and I've had a few "African American" female friends who at one point kind of stopped interacting with me and I don't know why. I'm nice to everyone, and you can't expect everyone to act the same and have the same interests just cause of ethnicity/race. It makes no sense to me. But that kind of "shunning" did hurt, I guess. So, that paired with my school being mainly white and asian, most of my friends growing up (apart from familial ties, again) have been white and asian. I don't get why so many people still believe stereotypes, so I don't like a guy who feels they have to act like one and not like themselves and is hung up about all of that nonsense. I kind of have a high sexuality and I've watched porn, and most of the time it's ebony with a white guy. Like ever since around 7th grade most of my romantic interests have been white, mainly cause of where I lived. I tend to have more in common with them than other people, I've noticed. I've liked Asian, South American, etc. guys too, so you could also throw them into the mix. But sometimes I feel like there's something bad about what I feel? I don't know why. But like a porn with two people of the same race just seems boring and kind of gross. Like if I see porn with two black people it feels like it could be a family member or something and that turns me off. Is that weird? I feel weird for even watching porn at all. But I'm 18 and I'm trying to find the right guy, instead of just getting with anyone I don't love, so that's how I tend to release my pent up sexual energy. Like I'm into hardcore stuff and some bdsm (spanking, domination, that sort of thing). I want to be totally submissive, but I'm afraid of loving someone else 100% and getting hurt, cause it's easy for me to like others. And no, I'm not self hating or anything. I see all ethnicities as attractive, depending on the person, and find myself attractive, so idk. And I've talked about race a lot here, just for the purpose of this question, but I really just see everyone as humans (cause I know race is just a social concept), and accept people for the individuals they are. I guess it's just me for being weird and having weird interests. Music is one of the big things that attracts me to someone and where I live indie music isn't very much a big thing, and who tends to like indie music the most? Exactly. It's not even just music to me, it's probably the closest thing to my heart, so when someone else likes the same thing it's like, someone actually understands me and what I feel and don't know how to express.
It is actually biologically very normal to be attracted to people outside your ethnicity. The biological reason is: it will increase the randomization of the gene pool and likeliness to produce healthy offspring. When there are differences in genes it is more likely to cause randomization and decrease chances of birth defects. so it is normal.
Hey, opposites attract;)
I've known this boy since we where little but when we grew up we lost touch. And last year I had a friend tell him that I like him and since then he has been staring at me. I wonder if he likes me or not. Im a girl and I,m 13.
Yaah, typically if a 13 year old boy stares at you a lot that means he likes you.
ok im 17/f
i like two guys but i need to narrow it down to one, cause i cant lead them both on. i have no idea so im looking for your opinions.
max: he is 19. At uni, works. Not the best of looking but really nice with a good sense of humor, really smart and is a challenge (which i like), he rides a motor bike which is a bonus but down side is he is VERY religious and we have very different views on the topic, generally leads to a massive debate or fight.
Mitch: 18, works. really good looking, very caring and he is a good listener, always telling me he misses me and always asking to see me again. down side we dont have alot in common, he doesnt get my sense of humor and sometimes i think its an act.
so im stuck, there both great guys! how do i know which one to choose? and how do i let the other one know i cant be more than friends?
I like Mitch...hey, opposites attract.
So I like this kid who is in my math class, he is a junior and I'm a senior, he is so nice and cute after class we always talk and walk to lunch together. He even holds the door open for me after class. I want to be able to talk to him more but I don't have his number and I dont want to seem to forward? And does it seem like he likes me?
A great technique: Next time a test/quiz is coming up... ask him if he's prepared. If he says yes, CASUALLY say "oh gosh I'm not could you help me study?" because if he says no (which I doubt he will, he seems like a gentleman - and I know gentlemen I'm from the south)..then it won't be as embarrassing for you because it's not like you asked him on a date. If he says no, then say "me neither..wanna study together?" To answer your question, I'm sure he likes you from what you've said. Just do one of the above! I almost guarantee you itll work:)
GOOOODLUCK:) xx
i want to take my bf to the next leel i want him to kiss me and i think we are ready to go ontto another level like i want him to get close to me like go swimming together or you know i want him to get onto me and i want to know how to rub on hi like get into the sex feeling
i am a girl by the way plz help i want him to get into the sex feeling and you know start trying to rub on me like i ask him about going into the sex feeling and hes not sure so i want to sort of get close to him and rub on him like make him feel that we are ready and i want him to see more of me and me to see him so naked basicly and i want him to say im hot and sexy so i think we are ready to start rubbing on each other like we are ready for nakedness like sex wise we are close to sex i want him to feel me and me to feel him
This may not be what you want to hear but I doubt you're ready for sex...judging by the way you typed you are probably a 13 year old girl? I say wait it out. Keep on kissing, do it in a pool if you want to "feel each others bodies against each other" but I strongly suggest NOT going straight to sex... I know you're going through puberty and all hormonal but you should wait. Teenagers are too young to have sex and the last thing you want is to be pregnant.
Okay, so I've been single for a while... And lately, I cant help but feel lonely. I miss the feeling of having someone to emotionally and physically comfort me. Sometimes, I feel that everyone is out, living their life as much as they can, and trying not to regret what they do.. Basically, they try not to have second thoughts about things they want to do, whether or not they should.
There's a guy that I used to be very good friends with, texting-wise. We never really met in person, until today. He lives many many states away. Today, I met him for the first time, after I drove to see him, very last minute. My sister came with me, so it made me feel a little more comfortable.
He is surprisingly attractive.. Not VERY attractive, but seems decent. He's a year younger than me but he's very mature. Anyway, the guy has a girlfriend, as of maybe two days ago. She's not here with him. (He's visiting my state for business purposes).
When we used to talk all the time, we had some really intense, flirty conversations. He told me that when we meet, we would have sex...
We met, and of course that didn't happen.. but he wants me to meet him again.. He asked me what I thought of him and I described him as having an innocent-looking face.. no sexual innuendo intended. But then, he replied "come thru this week and I'll show you how innocent I am ;) "
he wants me to come back and visit him again.. Now, I'm worried. First of all, Im not the type of girl who would do a guy just for fun. I like the thought of it, it's sexy and all but... when it gets down to me actually being put in the situation, I feel all wrong on the inside... then the fact that he's involved, that's just wrong too. I wouldnt like it if my new boyfriend did that to me. I would like to go see him, but im afraid about what's going to happen.
The idea of having sex with him scares me... I'll feel guilty. I dont wanna mess up our friendship.. but its not like ill see him again so who cares... but yeah, still., im worried about everything.
what do you think I should do?
If you don't want to have sex with him, then don't! If you DO want to hang out with him again, do it in a scenario where you won't be alone, such as a double date on restaurant, or going to the movies with a few people. That way you can get to know him a bit better to work out your feelings and thoughts on him, while taking away all the pressure.
Goodluck:)xx
I'm talking to someone new (dude), What do I talk about? We don't really now anything about each other? So, what can I say to not mess it up? & how can I like flirt a little, but not to direct..?
Ask about him to get to know him. There are lots of things you can talk about. some examples:
-sports - fave teams, does he plan any
-hobbies
-movies
-music
-fave places to eat food...this one could lead to an "I've never been there" type thing, which could lead to a date
-favorite school classes
-summer plans, vacations, etc
goodluck!! :)xx
i want a kiss
muaaaahh xx
There's this boy I like but I don't know how to tell him what would I say? I'm female and11years old
I would just go up to him and tell him "I've liked you for a while"...don't say you LOVE him...yet! It may overwhelm him to know that you've been crushing on him, so first let him know by saying "like," and then see how he responds. If he responds well, you can tell him you love him after a while!
GOODLUCK:) xx
ok so.. im 14 , girl with light brown hair, light blue eyes, average weight, i wear glasses, people say i have a beautiful smile....i smile alot... i like this guy (14) .we have been friends for 2 years or so now we just see eachother in school. nothing has happened between us. i have started to like him A LOT but the problem is he is a total man whore and loves sluts,he also smokes. i dont really know if he likes me, but i always see him looking at me while we are in class and he is always teasing me in a fun way, my friends say he likes me but i dont know. i dont think he would ever like a girl with glasses..... does he like me too, and if so should i go out with him even though he likes sluts and smokes?
A 14 year old who is already a smoker is a disgusting boy who is headed down a bad path. At this rate, he will probably impregnate a girl before he turns 18. RAISE YOUR STANDARDS!! You seem like a beautiful, sweet girl, and there IS a guy out there that is better than him for you!! And, no matter what, DO NOT START SMOKING!!!!! It is a dirty habit, a waste of money, and you're setting yourself up for health problems & gonna stunt and mess up your teenage years development!
Many fish in the sea, find a better one:) xx
Hey! I sent you this question (http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=604634) a couple weeks ago and you gave me good advice so I wanted to come back and ask you more!
My mum told me the other day that my ex messaged her on FB a couple days after we broke up. He kept apologizing to her and saying how sorry he was for breaking up with me, and for hurting me and hurting me was the last thing he wanted to do. He also told her that he hopes that her and my dad do not think any differently of him, that they do not view him any differently, and that he hopes they don't think he is an asshole. My mum told him that they do not think of him any differently, they still think he's a great guy and hope to see him around and to keep in touch. He said he would and if he is in town he will definitely stop by.
I was talking to him the other night because I had a horrible week and he is the only one that knows how to calm me down so I talked to him and at one point he said "I don't like when you think I'm lying. It makes me feel weird" and I said "Why does it make you feel weird? I don't think you're lying. I know you wouldn't lie to me" and he said "I don't know I want you to believe me with everything.. and I don't know it just does I feel just weird.." and I said "well I always believe you and it scares the shit out of me but I always believe you. You're the first person that I truly trust" and he said "I know and I'm always gonna be here, you know that.. alright?" and I said "I hope so" and he said "You know it." and I said "I hope so, I really do" and he said "I know. No need to hope"
I just don't understand it. I really don't. None of my ex-boyfriends ever treated me this way after the broke up with me nor said these things and certainly none of them messaged my mum. :/ I don't know what it's supposed to mean, if it even means anything or if I'm reading much too far into it.
His messaging your mother: It means he cares about what your family thinks, which I find as "respectful." It says a lot about his character, that he is going out of his way to impress the ones that are close to you. However, some COULD view it as "clingy," but not necessarily. It DEFINITELY means that he is still thinking about you a lot. A lotlotlot because if a guy is fb messaging an adult/close relative of the significant other, it's not like he just type out a quick message and sent it on the first draft, ya know? And if he did, than he is impulsive. But I bet it involved a lot of analyzing, which definitely means he's still thinking about you.
If this is the same ex in the other question you asked, than I remember saying it's good to keep him as a friend..as in he knows how to "calm you down." If someone is important to you and they never did something major that hurt you (such as hurtful cheating, etc), than it is totally normal and ideal to keep your ex as a friend, in my opinion. Like you said he's the first person you trusted, and if he hasn't broken your trust than he is a good guy. You didn't exactly ask me a straight up question, so I don't know what I'm specifically supposed to 'answer", haha.. I'm kind of assuming that it was what I thought the fb msging your mom was about? It's also a good thing that your parents think he's a great guy. He sounds respectful and the fact that he makes effort shows he is not another lazy, untrustworthy guy like I know so many of haha. So if I answered your question, then I hope I helped!! Otherwise, you can ask me a straight forward question and I'll try to do a better job to answer:) Or let me know if you and your ex have any new installments!
Best, dolphina xx
What is a good nickname to give to your boyfriend?
What's his name?
(either ask in my inbox or in the feedback areas...)
Otherwise, there's always generic names like honey, baby, babe, sunshine, smiles, sexgod, etc haha. you can get real creative!
My boyfriend broke up with me on Tuesday, about a week ago. Things were kinda like different like 2 weeks before that but we weren't fighting. We never fight. He just told me he wasn't happy but it wasn't me and not to worry. But it ended, unfortunately
He said he was so nervous to come over and do it and he was shaken up. He said he has been thinking about what to do for a little bit and even when he said he wasn't thinking about it, he was thinking about it. He said he made lists, wrote things down, cried at night, read my notes that I gave him, but he said he thinks it's best that we be done right now and if it's meant to be, we will be together.
It didn't end bad for a beakup. I said "I can't hate you, I can't be mad at you, I can't call you a dick or a douchebag or an ass. All I hope for you is that you find happiness because you deserve to be happy and you deserve the very best. And if you need anything you know I'm here for you and my door is always open for you." Then we hugged and I gave him a kiss on the forehead. He said that killed him to hear that and he doesn't deserve it and I deserve to he happy.. he was crying a lot .. He kept apologizing and saying he is sorry. He hates hurting me. I know he is hurt by it.. he said he will always be here for me and if I need him to call or text. He said he will still bend over backwards for me
He has only had 3 girlfriends, including me and I know his last two ended up bad. The first girlfriend was a psycho apparently and the second one cheated on him, and then there was me. I know he has been hurt in the past and it kills me that people hurt him because he is the sweetest guy I have ever met in my entire life. I keep thinking that maybe since I was the first person to actually give a damn and who actually cared more about him then about herself, that maybe without knowing it, it freaked him out. He has been confused lately. And something is telling me it's because he was scared because he found someone who really and truly cared about him.
He said to me like a month ago that he was falling in love with me and it scared the shit out of him. He would ask me if I could see myself with him in the future and I said yeah I can, can you? and He would say "Yes I can. I can see us going to my cabin, the beach, a bunch of other places. I can see a lot with you down the road." And he said to me before that we would need like 30 air conditioners in our house because I'm always sweating and hot.
I keep thinking that maybe this summer when we are both at home and we have time for ourselves, space, and everything, we come back to school and we can work things back out. He said that it isn't me, that I never did anything wrong and that's why deep down I feel like we can work through this. We have an online class together next year and he said that we would study and whatnot together.
That makes me think that maybe we can try and work things back out. But I don't know.
I told him that I still want him in my life and he said I know and I want to still be in your life too. He said I was never a bad girlfriend and to never think that. He said he is always going to worry about me and he still cares an awful lot. He said he didn't mean to make me feel this hurt, not at all. He kept saying he's truly very sorry for everything. Idk something is telling me deep down that we can work through it. But I don't know if that's wishful thinking or me being stupid.
I went out with my friend on Sunday night it was her 21st birthday. My ex-boyfriend didn't come along cause he had a lot of work to do and honestly who goes out on a sunday. hahah Instead, his roommate came with us. Everything was fine until my friend and I were going to go back to another friend's apartment to have more drinks and whatnot and our guy friend who came out with us asked me what I was doing. and I said "what does it matter? I have no one that cares anymore" and he said "yes you do" and I said "he doesn't care anymore, he doesn't care so what the hell does it matter what I do now" and he said "he does care. he does" and I said "no he doesnt!" and he said "stop it! yes he does. if he didn't care about you why would he be texting me all night asking me to make sure you are okay and to make sure nothing happened to you."
Well then I started crying. You know how that goes. You have one two many drinks in you and sometimes your emotions go crazy. My guy friend was like "he does care.. he's just being a confused guy right now. you just need to be strong." I forget what else he said but it was along those lines.
We still talk and whatnot and we see each other in class, but now that classes are over and summer is rapidly approaching I'm freaking out that it's gonna just be done.
I've been getting many mixed signals lately. I don't know if he might be realizing he made a mistake or maybe it's just me wishful thinking. :/ It's just really confusing. :(
I'm so sorry this is so long and I appreciate it so much that you took the time to read and respond. I honestly just don't know what to think or do or anything. I was just hoping maybe you would have an idea or some helpful advice or something. :) Again, thanks so much for your time.
ps we are both 21
Well I definitely think that there is a possibility for a future, since you didn't bring up anything about being cheated on or such things that could be considered "unforgivable." If the relationship kind of just died out, then I would say, yes, give it time over the summer so that you can focus on yourselves and see what's really important to you. I would also suggest to still see him every now and then, like maybe go to the beach with him a couple times throughout the summer... the reason I say this is bc I myself am going thru a break up, and the hardest part is that he's my best friend, knows more about me than any of my girlfriends, and so that makes it hard to think that I'm losing a love AND a friend. So, for the summer that's what we're doing, space & such, and we'll see what happens at school in the fall, but were are still going to hang out because we have a friendship that's really important.
You guys seem like you need some space to sort out your feelings, and then maybe have a couple "talks" once you know what you want. Good luck!! I'm sure everything will work out for yall:)
Okay.. been going on far long enough and yet only happens on day a week of course and i know it waste of time even worry a bout it but i just got so tick off now i just need to vent. okay I go to church with my boyfriend and we been dating for 3 years and well i been going his church and sometimes there friendly people some not. well they mostly nice to me but one girl is like weird. okay. thing is i go up and shake her hand she dose never say hi or nothing. so when she shakes my boy friend she be like hi how are you doing. and like never talk or say a word to me and two. she always staring where were sitting, always. and annoyed me.. yes i talk to my bf he tells me ne not notice or you know how guys are. just wish nezt time i see her or shake her hand i like find away nice way way what is your problem why you keep staring at me and rude to me
I wouldn't say: just wish nezt time i see her or shake her hand i like find away nice way way what is your problem why you keep staring at me and rude to me
.....
I would give HER a weird look and say "Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer..?" Hopefully she'll get the message! Haha I just personally think that's a badass comeback:)
The title of your question is "try not to be a jealous person", but I think it's HER that's jealous. She probably is crushing on your boyfriend! She seems annoying and weird, but don't let her get to you..you are the one with the man, afterall:)
I've been talking to a guy since around January. He asked to me to hang out with him twice but we ended up not hanging out. I asked him to come hang out with my friends once but he didn't want to. We talk on the phone at least 4 times a week wland we text all the time. About a month ago I found out that when he texts me he also texts other girls. We were at the mall and all 3 of us received the same text saying hi. He lead on my other friend before and take to her all the time but said she was just a friend. The thing is you cant talk on your cellphone with one girl and be hitting on other girls at the same time,its not possible. He listens to my problems but then again he does that to other girls. He calls me sexy. About 2 weeks ago I decided I was done with him and that I was in the "friendzone". I started talking to this new guy and I let him know he kind of just said ok and changed the subject. I told him I had to go because the guy was calling me. He got offeneded and said "Oh so you dont want to talk to me?" I told him no I did and ended up just talking to him. He never tells me how he feels and he always talks to other girls. Should I go for the second guy? I mean he won't do something so I might as well move on.
I was gonna say maybe YOU should try to make a move, but then again...he isn't exactly a "total catch" if you will. Like the mass text saying 'hi' at the mall. It DOES sound like he's leading you on, and I would go with your second guy. It's never good to be led on.
GOODLUCK:)
My boyfriend and I are very much in love. I feel very comfortable with him, and have no issues when it comes to my body with him. My only issue is that I cannot dance in front of him! When I go out with my friends I have no problems but whenever I go out with him I just freeze up. We're going out tomorrow night to see a DJ we both really like and I want to be able to enjoy it. How can I get over this?
20/F
Alcohol. jkjk...
I think the best thing to do is practice a bit at home, loosen up and get comfortable you know? That way when you go out, you won't be in a "deer in headlights" situation.
I had a friend who had a very very similar prob, and what she would do is actually dance with me and pretend I was her bf while we were getting ready and doing makeup. It was a bit weird for me, but it did help her sort of prepare and prevent her from freezing up. If you have a silly best friend I would suggest doing that because it worked for my friend who was in the same dilemma.
Just relax and HAVE FUN! Goodluck:)
Has anyone ever been in love before not middle school love but real true. I am and i am real confused because i love my bf to death but i am still in love with someone else and sometimes i picture what it would be like to be with and marry the other guy so how do i choose which one... and should i tell my bf that i have feelings for someone else or will it just hurt him more than it will make me feel better pl z help and i need advice soon
I have been in love... there is a saying that:
"You can't be in love with a new person if you are still in love with your ex," which I think may be true. I would stop thinking about marriage and thinking about which one makes you happier, which one treats you better, etc.
Good luck:)
13 yr old/f I need advice!!! I really like this guy but I'm not as popular as he is and I'm not sure how to act around him. He's wayyyyy more popular and hangs around alot of girls and teases and hugs them which bugs me. So how do you flirt with someone more popular than you?
My top suggestions for a 13 year old would be to
-make flirty eye contact from across the room in class
-when you're talking to him, SMILE. You can never go wrong with that.
---THEN>> lick your lips once of twice. Just subtly will do the tricks
-Twirl your hair a bit. Not too much because then you'll look nervous, but if done right you'll look playful.
Good luck:)
should i go out with a boy that is shorter than i am
YEAAA girl! I dated a guy who 5'7 (I'm 5'8) because he looked like Taylor Lautner and had the most incredibleeeeeeee bod. Swoon.
Just when you go out with him, wear flat sandals and shoes...stay away from wedges and heels!
Have fun:)