bella627's advice column | bella627's Advice About Love Life

askbella627

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I'm a 17 y/o guy in highschool with a mad crush on this girl that I've known since middle school. In middle school, she tried to hook up with me in an indirect way with obvious hints but then I didn't have any idea what to do so we stayed friends. I guess I was still in that cootie phase of puberty. But now I'm a junior in highschool and recently she's been on my mind alot like crazy. There's something about her that keeps my head stuck on her all the time, other girls might catch my attention but damn she got something special. There are a few guys that are trying to hook up with her but I heard from word of mouf that she likes me. Now that I've given you the intel on my situation, I was wondering what would you do to get the girl or to improve the chances of hooking up with her? I'd be real grateful if you can help me out.

It sounds like you have a really good chance with this girl. If you guys have been friends for a while that's an awesome start, and it also gives you an edge over other guys that might like her. You should definitely tell her how you feel....it's like fate gave you guys a second chance. If you're not positive how she feels, you could always talk to one of her close friends. But I know most girls will wait for the guy to make the first move, especially if she was dropping hints before. Maybe you could ask her to go out to dinner or something and see what kind of vibe you get from her. And even if it doesn't work out then you won't be left with all the what ifs. So definitely give it a shot. And DON'T play any games, like flirting with other girls or ignoring her. It may sound stupid but there ARE guys out there that do that!
Hope I helped!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Q: Okay here's my problem...I slept with my best friend, but he doesn't remember, and now I might be pregnant. Maybe I should explain...About a month & a half ago, my best friend/roommate and I went to a party and when we got home we kinda started making out (we had both been drinking). When he said he something that he really needed to tell me, and said that he was in love with me. It was so sweet and we ended up sleeping together. The next morning I woke up before him and cooked breakfast for him. But when he woke up, he was really confused, and he said he couldn't remember how he got home, and he really didn't remember anything since the beginning of the party the night before. I was freaking out and I didn't say anything about what happened between us. We later found out that someone had put something in the drinks at the party and a bunch of people couldn't remember stuff. I had decided that I wasn't going to tell him about out night together because it would be to weird. Then I didn't get my period this month, so now I'm really freaking out. I know I need to tell him but I don't know how. Then to make matters worse, I was trying to tell him yesterday, and he said that he wanted to tell me something (I thought he was gonna say he loved me) and he said that he was still a virgin and he was saving himself for the person that he was gonna spend the rest of his life with. I didn't think it was possible to feel any worse. I'm 22 and he's 20.

Can anyone help me please? I don't know what to do...

You do have to tell him. If it was the other way around you would want to know, right? Since he is your best friend, it should be easier to sit down and talk with him. Just explain to him that you had no way of knowing that he was so out of it...tell him about what he said about being in love with you. I'm sure he'll understand that you weren't trying to take advantage of him or anything. He might be upset and angry, but just give him time. Then just in case you are pregnant, you can go from there...but I would find out for sure ASAP. Good luck!

Q: I'm 20 years old. Female. I've been with my man for about 4 months and I definately feel that I'm head over heels in love with him when it's just the two of us but when I'm around other guys I start thinking about dating other people. How come one minuet I feel like I could marry my love but then another minuet I think about wandering to other guys?

it's normal for you to feel that way because you're still young. you may love your boyfriend, but you still haven't experienced everything that's out there so don't totally tie yourself down into marriage or anything yet! just enjoy yourself and see where your heart leads you.

Q: I really need help... I started dating an ex of mine thursday night.. Well today we started fighting. My cousin told me that he was just using me for sex. and I guess I kinda believed it. but I've been acting kinda shady towards him and he asked why. So i kinda mentioned it to him. and now hes really pissed off.. he hates my cousin.. he doesnt want me around him when I'm with her. and I'm almost always with her. but then hes like I'm going to bed.. I was like dont be mad at me. and he got off.. didnt even tell me he loved me. I'm afraid I really ruined things with him. and I love him more then anything in the world. I dont/cant lose him.. HELP! I'm crying here.. I dont know what to do!!

I think you definitely need to talk to him and explain everything. tell him that even though he may not like her, you trust your cousin. explain that what she said really hit a nerve with you and maybe by her suggesting it you started to see something that wasnt there. or it at least put some doubt in your head. he should have given you a chance to explain and tried to reassure you that it wasnt true. so i guess all you really can do is talk to him and try to work things out.

Q: ok theres this guy that i met online ad we talked and stuff and i sorta like him and he likes me and we talk on the phone everynight now he wants to meet me do u think i should meet him

probably not. but if you really really want to then bring friends. i made the mistake of meeting someone once by myself and he tried to pressure me to do things i didnt want to.

Q: does age matter cause im 13 almost 14 n i like a 17 year old n a 18 year old n my friend is bout ready to get me n the 18 year old out..plz help me

when you get older, age doesnt really matter. but i think at your age the difference between 14 and 18 is too much. an 18 year old is a legal adult and will be into alot of differnt things than you. it is also considered statutory rape if you were to have sex, even if you were consenting. plus your parents may not approve of you dating an 18 year old. try to find some guys in your class, i'm sure there are plenty!

Q: ok! last night my friend had a sleepover nd' there were guys and we all slept in the tent outside and i we were all like smushed together with not alot of room and this one really cute guy was layin next to me and when i went inside with *c* whos sleepover it was to change...everyone that was outside told that guy i was layin next to to do stuff with me like they even told him step by step n shit. and i didnt know that till later and then all of a suden he was up my shirt and we were layin closer and huggin and stuff. i didnt do nething with/to him tho. I really do like him but im 14 and hes 16 gunna be 17 in 6 months so idk if thats ok and should i be mad at my friends for setting that all up or not?

I can't tell you whether you should be mad or not...but I know I would be. things like that should never be forced on you by friends or by the guy. just tell your friends that you'd rather they didn't interfere like that next time. and if this guy is worth it then he will respect you enough to take things at a pace that you're ready for.

Q: Okay here's my problem!I liked this guy here and there on and off. There's no doubt that there isn't any attaction cause people see it all the time. When we go out in public, people think we are a couple. I told him how I really felt about him (though we are like best friends) he said he only likes me as a friend, and that he's sorry he can't return the same feelings. But he also like one of my friends and out of the kindness of my heart, I hook them up... but she's jux like me, and we are also cool. I'm not jealous (yet) or anything like that cause me and him still flirt the same way we do, and we are still good friends. So I dunno what to do, still like him or move on? I dunno how to feel or what to think? Any advice? Plz help! Thankz a munches!

first of all congrats to you for actually telling him how you feel! i only wish i had the guts to do that...lol. but that is the best way to go about these situations because you can actually get things out in the open insted of wondering "what if".
anyway, since you did tell him and he says he only wants to be friends, then that's probably as far as it will go right now. do your best to move on. its awesome that you guys are still good friends, so you dont want any jealousy to hurt that friendship. maybe he has some friends he can fix you up with! and hey, you never know..maybe sometime down the road he will like you as more than a friend!

Q: ok well 3 weeks ago this realllly hot guy *tai* came came over and hes a senior & im a sophomore. well hes the guy that every girl wants bc hes funny and freakin soo hot its unbelieveable. but so he came over & we had un protected sex and idk i was 2 weeks late for my period then i had it. but i heard that u can be pregnant & still have ur period. the only reason im sooo worried is bc i had been pregnant before (but had a misscarriage) and i had the same feeling that i was like before. im so scared cuz i mean im only 15 and i cant be pregnant again. wut do u think i do???

you should probably get a pregnancy test just to be sure. it may have been your period...or you may have just been spotting, which can happen when you're pregnant. so if you want to be 100% sure then take a test! if it's positive then you go from there..but dont freak out till you know for sure.