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Last Update: August 11, 2009
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Ok this guy im crazy about him. I've told him how felt like two years ago he didnt' feel the same. Were like really close now, and this summer we hav been talking a LOT! I really thought I was over him but when I saw him today all those feelings came rushing back. I've tried getting over him in the past but it just doesn't stick. Everytime he gives he smiles or teases me the emotions come back. I want to get over him I do, but part me just doesnt want to. I'm so confused and I have no idead how he feels about. I'm stuck and need help. (link)
Feelings can be really tricky. I too have been in a situation where I was crazy about the guy, but he was crazy for my best friend so we remained friends. I tried to get over him and be happy for her, but it was difficult. Anyways, I think you should tell him how you feel. You never really know how he feels now unless you ask. I made the mistake of never saying anything and encouraging my best friend to go for it and well they were happy but I was miserable. Then I moved away and had to forget about him. Although I still think about him from time-to-time. I really don't want you to live like I did the way I felt sucked. I think you should just come out and tell him how you feel and tell him you liked him two years ago and tried to get over him, but you couldn't you still like him. He might turn around and say that he felt the same way then and still does now and then you two can get to know each other more. Good luck


Why are some people so afraid of commitment? (link)
Commitment is a big thing. Many people fear this because they do not trust themselves, or they do not trust other people. If the case is that they do not trust themselves then commitment is difficult because they fear they will screw up badly and potentially hurt someone. Sometimes if a person has cheated before or something and then another person comes along who personA falls inlove with, personA will fear commitment because they don't want to do anything to hurt personB. In this case you might ought to try showing the person that they will not hurt you by letting them get to know themselves by hanging out with you.

If the case is that the person doesn't trust others then it is probably because they have been hurt pretty badly in the past and are afraid of it happening to them again. In this case you must show that person that you are not going to hurt them by treating them nicely, and respecting their wishes. Also by not doing anything that may lead the person to believe you are going to hurt them.

I hope you get help from this and good luck.


15/f

ok so theres this guy and i know he likes me and i kinda like him too but were good friends and i really dont want to risk losing that. he asks me to go places with him all the time but i never do cause i think it might be kind of awkward. what can i do to make things less awkward and make sure that when we do go out its strictly as friends?? HELP!! (link)
Well first off as a side note, the best couples are best friends with eachother. Your significant other should be your best friend. But anyways, in order to go with your friend without feeling awkward is just to go. Hang out have fun. Just as you would at school or something. Going out with a guy to the movies or to dinner or anywhere really does not mean that you two are going out. Yes couples do that stuff together, but they hold hands, hug eachother all the time, and kiss eachother. As long as you don't encourage or go along with any action he may make then it will be fine. And of course the only way to get over this fear so-to-speak is to face it. If you tell him that you just want to remain as friends because you don't want to take a chance of ruining a really good friendship, he will most likely respect that and just keep things on the friends level. So tell him how you feel, and go for it. Hang out with him. And who knows after a couple of times, you may change your mind about the whole only friends thing and want to be his girlfriend. You never know. Well good luck


ok well me and my boyfriend have gone off and on for a little while now and well... he says he loves and that he wants to stay with me for a long time but he says that it doesnt feel like we are going out and that it should feel like we are and at 1st i agreed that it didnt feel like it and we both decided to wait and see what happens. but now i do feel like we are going out and i like him...ALOT! but he still does not completly fell like we are and i can tell it worrys him a lot. should i just wait or move on?

p.s.
he has thought about breaking up with me and i really dont want him to. (link)
Relationships can be pretty tricky. The truth is that both parties need to show the other how they feel. Words, well are just words, anyone can say "I Love You", but the only way you know for sure is by the way they show it. For example, A guy say he loves you with all his heart and never wants to loose you. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and only you, but he only comes around maybe once a week, and it is just for a couple of hours. Now, the girl won't feel like he really loves her because he never comes around.

What I am trying to say is that if you really like this guy then prove it to him. I wish I could tell you how but I can't. You need to do what you think will prove it to him. My suggestions are to spend as much time as you can with him. Don't go out with your friends, instead hang out with him. Treat him as good as you can. Make him know that he is your number one. That you care about him very much and do not want to loose him. Good luck.


okay soooo i'm going out with this guy and hes nice and funny and pretty hot, but i think the only reason i might be going out with him is so i can get over my ex!! The reason y me and my ex broke up was because he was going out of town for the whole summer and we wouldnt see eachother at all. I think i still have feelings for my ex and not my new bf wat do i do??
plus my new bf is in Hawaii right now in a surf competition and im afraid if i break up with him he'll do bad!!

WAT DO I DO??? (link)
Well first off you should tell your present boyfriend how you feel. Keep him in your life while he is your boyfriend. Then you need to think about which guy you have feelings for and which guy you do not. If you have feelings for your ex still, then you should break things off with the new one.

But for future advice, life is going to separate boyfriends and girlfriends for a period of time. The attraction will grow stronger with the period of distance. Actually spending time away from a boyfriend will show yourself how much you truly care about him. So if I were you I would not break up with my boyfriend because I won't be able to see him for a couple of months. Because if I truly love the guy my love will grow stronger and so will his. And if I don't love the guy spening time away from him will let me realize that so when he got back we could have a talk.


i just told my boyfriend that I've been with for a year and three months that i made out with my ex who he hates and he broke up with me he took me back but still doesn't know how he can ever trust me again what should i do?
i was with him yesterday and we were having a great time and then he just got all down
i hate the fact that i cheated on him and i know he would never do it to me
i don't know why i did it
i don't have any feelings for my ex anymore i lost those feelings when i broke up with him
please help me? (link)
Well not to sound mean or anything but you did cheat on him. He will eventually get to the point where he can trust you again, but right now he is still seriously hurt. When someone gets cheated on they don't just feel bad that the person cheated. They begin to think what did I do wrong? What did I do? What did I not do? Why were they tempted to cheat? Am I worth anything?

They start to believe the thoughts about them being well worthless once someone cheats on them. He took you back; which means he does like you a lot and does not want things to end between you, but that does not change the fact that you did what you did to him and he still feels like crap. The reason he gets all sad is because he still thinks about those things I mentioned above. He is also living in fear. Fear that you will do it again. Which this fear leads him back to thinking even more about where and what and how he went wrong to make you want to cheat. Granted you didn't want to do it. And sometimes things happen. But this is what goes through peoples minds once they have been cheated on.

Now what you have to do to earn the trust back is well be urself for one. Be the girl u were before things got rough. Show him that he is the only one you ever think about by giving him attention. Spend time with him. Instead of going out with friends, go with him. You don't have to go places where money is required. Go to the park, sit outside, go for walks, swim, etc. Just go the extra mile to show him you really want him and no one else. Also tell him how you feel. But always keep in mind words mean nothing if the body language isn't there. You can tell him you love him and he is the only one, but if you spend more time with your friends then him, even for a day he is most likely going to think bad things and start thinking that you don't care. The main thing is to show him that you really do care for him and that you will never do anything like that again or anything to hurt him. You need to tell him, but showing him will truly get him to see that you do care about him a lot. And I wish I could tell you exactly how to show him, but that has to be on you what ever you feel will show him how you feel about him you do it. And don't ever give up he will eventually come around. Good luck.



im a guy im 13. i like this girl alot and i told her last school year on valentines day in a love letter and i dont know if she likes me and i did ask her in the letter if she liked me but never said a thing. i talked to her this year and i asked her if she read it she said yesthen i asked her what she thought she said something but it was realy realy quite it sounded like a hamber siziling then i said say something even if its stupid which now i think was stupid but she laughed then i told her why cause
i didnt want to annoy her then now we hardly talk or never but every time we see ecother i look at her then the looks at me but she doesnt talk to me any more but she talks to this other boy alot but i think their friends cause every one thinks hes not straight and he agreed i think but her friends like sheild her away from me and my friends sorta do the same does me like me or does she hate me but to nice to say that.she smiles around me and if its sorta funny she laughs and shes sorta shy i think (i think) (link)
Well the only way to know for sure is by going up to her and having a conversation with her about your feelings. You did say that she may be a shy girl and believe me girls like that usually become extremely timid around boys they like. They won't go around them nor talk to them. She may like you, but is afraid of something. I think you should ask her if she would like to hang out and then when the two of you are away from everyone else bring up the fact that you like her and ask if she likes you. Good luck


my boyfriend broke up with me. and it happened a long time ago but im still sad over it. wat do i do? nothing is working? i loved him alot and it came out of nowhere. do you have any advice? plz help me (link)
Break ups can be extremely difficult to get through. The only thing that you can really do is try to find somethin that can get your mind off of him. If that is not optional than maybe you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel, he could feel the same way he just didn't realize that until after he broke things. I feel for you, break ups are by far a hard thing to go through in life especially when you love the person. But life is full of challenges and this is one of them. These challenges just make us stronger once we get through them. So hang in there you'll get through it.


well he and me are a couple you could say, hes still dating that girl but were dating too, and he wants to brake up with her but i under stand that he cant do it b/c he doesn't want to be near her and shes like in all her classes.
i don't know what to do
HELP. (link)
There are other ways of braking up with a someone than going up to them. Of course, they are not as nice as it would be if he were to go up to her. He could write her a note, or just never talk to her again, except for when he absolutely has to. If he ignores her mayber she will do the job for him and brake up with him. I think it would be best for both of you he did brake things with her though. It would be better for him and you. AS far as her being in all his classes, I am thinking that he can find someone else to sit next to maybe he could go to the teacher and ask to be moved because of a personal conflict with her. I hope this helps out.


but thats not the prob hes not using me hes not doing anything wrong other than going out with a whore who cheats on him and lies about there relationship all the time, but i don't know if i want to be with him any more my bros gf is trying to find me a nice man she allready did his name is brandon but shes not shore if she want me to go out with this guy b/c he smokes pot, but theres also this other guy gerit but i don't know, but anyway dana is my bff and i love him dearly as a friend and as a bf but i don't know what i'm going to do maybe u can help me out and tell me what i should do?
thanks alot samantha (link)
Well, before you go out with anyone you need to figure out your feelings. This is not going to be easy, but it can be done. Try to spend more time with this boy that is with the other girl. See if you truly like him. Maybe you should try to make a like and dislike chart, and see if you actually like him enough to let the dislikes go. Hope this gets you started on figuring out what to do. keep me up to date, and I will be working on some more things for you to try.


ok so theres this guy ive liked for a while and we’re friends and in the beginning of the school year i noticed that he liked me and i knew he did. now this is the time that all the guys ask the girls to the prom. i really want him to ask me but one of my friends might like him but we aren’t close enough friends that we would tell each other our secrets. so the thing is my friend and the guy i like are pretty close friends like today we were watching a movie in class and they sat next to each other and were talking about how they are getting married in las vegas and it was practically a joke but she also told every one how she wants this other guy to ask her to the prom. so the point is that i want to im the guy i like and tell him i like him but how and idk ow he feels about me like if he likeme anymore and if he likes my friend.
ok my friend just broke up with her boyfriend like 2 weeks ago and they were going out for a year so i think she should give other people a chace sorta bc my longest realashonship was 2 months so i dont know what to do. should i ask the guy out? how should i ask him? ive never done this before so i dont know what will happen. i don’t wanna ruin our friendship bc it will be acward if he says no. also the class after when the two of them were together talking about there “marriage” he sits next to me in that class and we talked a few times and i caught him taking a few glances at me for about like 5 seconds in the corner of my eye so im kinda confused about who he likes. thx in advance :) (link)
The best thing to do in this situation in my opinion is to talk to this boy. Start a friendly conversation it does not have to be about anykind of relationship, just get a conversation going. This way you are comfortable talking to him, once you are comfortable going up to him and talking to him, then slowly drop in the information about your feelings. Make sure that you tell him you don't want things to be weird between you two if he does not feel the same way. You have to remember that guys are shy as well when it comes to asking a girl out. Every one is afraid of rejection so don't think that you are the only one that is having this problem so are the guys and maybe he wants to ask you to the prom but he is afraid of the same thing you are. Keep that in mind, that sometimes you have to be the strong one and ask the guy out because they are just as scared as us girls.
I hope that everything works out. I also hope that you do tell him how you feel because I did not tell the boy I liked him in a similar situation and now he is going out with my friend who again is not a close friend. and it sucks big time, but luckily I got a second chance with a different guy. SO tell him how you feel because the odds are that he likes you back and is just to afraid of asking you and getting rejected. Good luck!!


f/15/fl
well to start off my name is samantha b and my x-boo dana is dating 1 of my friends and i'm ok with that kinda, but they have been going out for the past four months and he wants to cheat on her with me but i don't know what i'm going to do, we have already made out once, and we have walked together like to class and every thing, but our hint word for cheating or us wanting to see each other agin is "do u want to play the game" and its like that on and off. but the hole reason why hes doing this is b/c shes always saying "i'm going to brake up with u and date some one else" i resently tolled him that (the guy that i'm trying to get with)him and amanda were talking about going out and having sex with each other and he didn't like that to much,and thats one of the other reasons why he wants to do this, but what should i do, do it and say fuck you to my friend or tell my friend that me and him are doing this behind her back? and i really love him and want to be with him and she doesn't give a flying fish about him, so what should i do please help me out i really need to know what i should do?


help me please
samantha b. (link)
Well Samantha, it seems as if his girlfriend and him should not even be together. Instead of telling her that her boyfriend and you are having an affair, maybe you should talk to him about braking up with her. I mean if she has been threatning to brake up with him, then they should not be together. Evidently he does not want to be with her either, so ask him why doesn't he just cut the string between him and her. That way you and him can have the relationship you two are so itching to have without actually doing anything wrong. You will be able to be with him without having to think about the harm you might be doing to your friend. Just talk to him tell him how you feel and encourage him to brake up with her and go out with you. I don't know exactly how close you and your friend, but I would not risk the friendship with her over a boy. However, if she brakes the friendship with you because you went out with him after he brakes up with her, then she was not worth it anyway. I hope everything works out, just remember that he should brake up with her, before you go on with your relationship with him. This way you are not the one who is doing anything wrong and no one can blame you. It will help you stay out of a lot of drama if he does this so just talk to him and see what he thinks. Then make your decision.


I am deeply in love with a girl. She happens to be my class mate nd we are pretty close friends. I told her how i felt cos i couldnt keep it inside any longer and I thought it was best to tell her. Well she doesnt love me the way i love her. She says that I am a great guy and all. She just wants to be my friend for now (thats what she said exactly).So I asked her if anything could happen between us in the future (A pretty stupid move i think) and she said probably not. That hurt a lot and it still does. The problem is that I cant stop loving her. What am i supposed to do? Does anyone think I stand a chance. (link)
Love it a very painful thing sometimes. Sometimes the ones we love are not the ones who love us. I understand that you are experiencing a very rough time in life right now, but you can't force someone into loving you. If she said that she does not and does not see anything happening in the future then you need to move on. I know it is going to be very difficult, but it has to be done. There is someone out there for everyone. Actually there are more than one, but one will come around sooner or later. My advice is to try to move on and let love find you because if you are searching for it, you will never find it. I hope I helped and I am sorry that things did not work out for you and this girl, it takes a lot of nerve to go up to somebody and tell them your feelings. And look at the bright side of things at least you are able to remain friends with her. keep your head up.


16/f
alright so, ive been dating this guy for 2 1/2 months, and i dont love him is that normal? like.. if i dont love him by now should i brake up with him.. what would other people do? everyone around me is saying to brake up with him.. i do like him a lot i just dont love him..


thanks. (link)
Relationships can be very confusing, sometimes you think you love someone, and you don't, and sometimes you don't think you love someone until they are gone and then you realize that you did love them. In your case your feelings are the most important part of your decision on braking up with him or not. You need to find out for sure what your feelings are before you want to jepordize your relationship with him. So you should stay with him, because sometimes you don't love someone right off the bat, sometimes it taks a while. If you like him a lot and care about him, then you may love him, you just don't know it yet. If you spend practically every waking moment either with him or communicating with him, you may be experiencing the doubtful feelings because there has been a decrease in conversation since there is hardly anything to talk about. If this is the case, try to spend a day without him, just talk on the phone once or twice, and give it a rest for a while. Once you have been away, you might be able to figure out your feelings for him. But whatever you do, you should not brake up with him if you are not for sure about your feelings because once you brake up with him, you may not be able to get him back, andyou don't want to loose him if it turns out that you do actually love him. I hope I am making sense. Basically, figure out your feelings, and if you really like him, or love him, stay. But if things turn out that you don't like him that much or in that way and you don't love him, then you should probably let him know your true feelings.
I hope this was helpful to you. and good luck in figuring things out.


Well I like a boy and I think he likes me to but whenever his friends r around he acts like I am just some girl and when he told some of his friends that he liked me they picked on him and me and ai felt really bad for him but they stopped what do I do to find out if he likes me as much as I like him. (link)
You might try to get him alone away from his friends and just talk him. It does not have to be about the feeling you have for him, just get to know. Ask him if he wants to go see a movie or something that will get you two alone. AFter you guys spend sometime together you will be able to see how much you really like him, and he will be able to see how much he likes you. This will get the ball rolling if you are not comfortable talking to him directly about feelings. However if you are, just get him alone and talk about it, but keep in mind guys get frightful when it comes to talking to girls they like. You can also ask him directly, if he does and he will answer, but make sure his friends are not around. They may may make him say something that is totally different then what he truly wants to say esp. if they were making fun of him. But odds are if he told them he liked you, he most likely still does, but does not want to show it in front of his friends. I hope this helps, if not feel free to come back and I will try a different method.


Well me and my boyfreind arent talking at them moment well lets start with the basics. Im 14 this is like my 30th boyfreind I swear it just never works out me and him have been dating for 1 year. He wants to go all the way and im not ready for the responslablty of a babie if I get pregant and im jsut not ready so what should I do he said he wanted to dump me but I love him he is the only guy I ever told I loved i mean plenty of guys had said I love you but i didnt say it back.

(link)
Well, relationships can be tricky. However, if you are not ready for that part of a relationship, then he should be willing to wait for you. After all, you do have an entire life ahead of you, and you should not risk the chance of getting pregnant. He is not the one who has to live with a baby growing in his stomach for nine months. Also what happens if you do get pregnant, is he going to stay around, and are for sure that he is not just saying that so he can get you where he wants you. In my opinion, if he truly loves you like he says he does, then he will wait for you as long as it takes. If he is not willing to wait, then let him dump you. Yeah it is going to hurt, but you will be able to get up and move on. You have your whole life ahead of you to have kids, and actually have a guy that will definitely stay around, not one that may leave you or he may not. You just never know with guys that age. My advice to you is to wait until you are ready, and if he does not want to wait, don't force yourself, just take what he has to say, and move on with your life. He is not worth it if he won't wait for you anyways, and you could do so much better than him.
Stand up for yourself, don't let him guilt trip you into having sex with him. You want your first time to be wonderful and memorable not I am doing this because he will dump me if I don't. Plus there is always that chance that he was going to dump you after you had sex with him. So wait girl, don't let him influence you into doing that.




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