Hi, I am in an interratial relationship and it's proven more that once to be a hard one. Not becuase of the race difference as such but the challenge is in the type. He is Indian and they are known for their jealousy and infidility. The one I am dating, well, I am not sure if he is just being that,a hypocrite, narsisitic, selfish or a womanizer or all in one. He pretends to be something he is not with other women, yet back home he will be abusive, mentally and thank goodness for long now not physically. He drinks only over weekends and then all is said, he admits he makes me feel small, provokes me, say things to hurt me but it is to keep me on my toes. He has met 3 women,he chats on a social site with another 20, he sent nude pics, they sms and call. He accuses me of doing the same. He is allowed to make assumptions but not me. I am not allowed to chat on social sites with other men. When we go out he watches me like a hawk and will say men talk to me to get to me. I am not cheap or easy. I told him I am stronger than him because I allow him to control me while I pretend not to know all his scemes, vain excuses and pretentious ways. I know this is one of those pack your bag and dump the duchebag situations. I do love him though. He knows and admits that he uses me at times and preys on my kindness. He is manipulating and controlling but I know and see all this. When I tell him who and what he is he gets angry. When he picks a fight like now I know it's because he did something wrong and wants to fight and put the attention and blame on me for what he did. I know he won't change, I give him the benefit of the doubt and he knows that. He demands trust and honesty but he lies about things, hide them and acts dumb when confronted when I do find out. How do I handle this man? How do I make him see that I am not the enemy but he is. All I do is be good, be quiet, be faithful and loyal...he does not say thanks you or please. Today he told me to take my words, make them into a stick and go f... myself. He does not even bother to buy chips or juice or do anything I want to do, yet he will offer ,then the offer turns into options, then the options turn into he's preference and then we do what he wants to do. He wants me to tone my legs and get my body into shape but he never give me any support or comfort in any situation, like the two miscarriages I had. He was having a phone fling during the first one by the way. I am just so confused, I read up as much as I can about his personality but it seems he has too many. He does whatever he wants too but I am not allowed to do what he does yet he accuses me of it...thank you for reading me out.
This is bound the most intresting question I have seen in a while. And I'm trying not to judge as I see infact do you have any clue what makes him do things such as that like maybe his past or anything, try and wait till he is in a good mood to sit down and talk to him so you can understand a little about the man he seems confusinf but even the most oddest people can be understood a little bit of advice if you really wnt to be with him try your hardest once you know uve tried then you really have to face reallity and think do I really wnt to live this way, trust me a lot of men would love a woman that is loyal and is by his side all the time. This guy your with is really not appreciating what he has. Good luck I really hope you make the right decision
Sincerly ReyRincon :)
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Tonight, my girlfriend of 4 months has told me that she doesn't deserve to date me. She has had some rather rough relationships where abuse (not physical but mental abuse) was involved. She also has the genital herpes STD, and she's not a virgin either and I'm still one. We are both 26 years old as well. But anyways, when she told me this, I did feel hurt and even angry that she would say this to me. Now usually like every month, she talks about her past. However, its getting to a point where her complaining about her past is beginning to frustrate me. Now I haven't gone through the things in my life that my girlfriend has gone through. Often it can be hard for me to help her too. We did date for a while back in 2010 for about 4 months, but we broke up because at the time she was very clingy to me which I hated and I had issues going on with my life back then too. We got back together in the spring of this year and said we would try to have a better relationship. I want to keep that going, but the fact that she often complains about her past is something that bothers me and I won't tolerate it much longer. What should I do? Also, she lost her grandfather in September of last year and her grandmother recently passed away too. Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you.
To be honest ive been in your situation before, to be honest i think your girlfriend is really to stuck in her past which can be a good thing or a badthink what i mean by that is right now its the bad thing with all the talking it can get you upset, but the good thing is that she really just want you to feel her emotions so its not bad to sit down with her and tell what really bothers her she might even feel even more loved than she already has, another option is to let her know that shes not the only one with problems theres people with worse and also add that the past is the past its not a supposed to be as a story like they "the past is the past in the future you laugh" no matter what her situation is she will think back and remember whos been trough it al with her and hopefully that someone would be you. you seem like a real good boyfriend i mean i know how you feel like your just there nowing the things that happend in the past it can make you think bad about the person or maybe even feel pitty but that person whoever it is always will need a helping hand and its better to leave that hand out and keep all those bad toughts away from the badside and look at the bright side all the time. Sorry if it doesent quite make scense but i was talking while typing.
Sincerely Rey Rincon :)
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Hi, im a 19 year old girl, i been with these guy for a year, as a couple. But i know him since i was born, we were raised together. His 24 years old. Im also 37 weeks pregnant. We been living together for 6 months. The problem is, that i want to leave him but i dont know how. Im tired of everything. He spends the whole day critizing me and humiliating me. He berly touches me. He is not romantic, he doesnt even pay for my stuff when we go out. I have to pay for my part. He ignores me when ever he wants. And he thinks im his freaking maide. Point blank he treats me like shit. Theres nothing good i can say about him. He blames me for every little thing even if is not related to me. He berly shows any affection with me being pregnant. The only thing he cares is himself, his friends, his car, and the gym. We are not included. I dont even know if he loves me still. I see that we fight more then were happy. The sex sucks, it always had, he only thinks about him selfs. How can i leave him? Or what should i do? Im 3 weeks before giving birth.
I personaly think that you should gain some ground and take a minutes to think about this decision its seems like a very tough one.I think it was better to do it sooner but you should consider doing it. if he is not making your life any better what makes you think he will make your childs life any better. the Like i always say the sooner the better. i bet your probably thinking about how is it going to affect your child, because when a child dosent have there parents together it really breaks them into pieces but you also have to understand is that it happens every day. Its really up to you, but all i suggest is like the book says "ITS NOW OR NEVER"
Sincerely Rey Rincon
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Hello. I am 18 years old and have 2 month old twins, the father of my twins left while i was pregnant with them. recently he told me he wants to get back into me and his babies life and wants us to be a family. we are not together but working on it. but on top of this i have recently slept with another boy and could possibly be pregnant by him. i really want to be with my twins father and we have even talked about our wedding but i know if he finds out about this other bot he is going to leave me. i honestly do not know what to do, HELP PLEASE!
This is a real tough decision but i think the best way is to wait it out and see if your really pregnant,
1. and if you not, then really what he dosent know wont hurt him. it might sound like a cold hearted thing but its really going to make it worse if you tell him. Ive been in that situation where you find out or get told something you say you want to know but infact you really dont want to know.
2. If you are well there is no other resort. you have to tell him the earlier the better. because if he sees your belly questions will be asked and its better to deal with the heat now than later.
IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU AND TRUE LOVE IS IN THE AIR HE WILL UNDERSTAND YOU. :)
Sincerely. Rey Rincon
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