I'm a very wise old soul. I know about and understand many things. My motto : Good judgement comes from experience...And a lot of that comes from bad judgement. If we learn something from the bad judgement, it was not a wasted experience.
Gender: Female
Age: 45
Member Since: January 16, 2011
Answers: 26
Last Update: January 19, 2011
Visitors: 2512
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ok im looking for adivice. my girlfriend doesnt seem into me! im looking for answer that tells what i should do help as soon as possible. thxn alots bye ima male and 16 helpsssss plssssss (link)
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As I have told others, you just can't force anyone to love you. It's that simple, you will never win over anyone who doesn't want to be won. If she isn't into you find someone who IS. If you don't you're basically kicking a dead horse.
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Saturday night/ Sunday morning; I recieved a message from my ex on facebook. (we broke up thursday evening) He likes to write to express how he feels, so he wrote me this little poem thing, saying how much he loves me and misses me and how he knows he made a mistake.
I talked to him later on Sunday night. We talked in person. The whole time he was with me, he felt bad. I took advantage of it. We sat in his room, and I told him how bad he hurt me, and I got very detailed with it. He started to cry. He said his intentions were to never hurt me, and all he wants is to be in a realtioship with me, and just be happy. He doesn't understand why he kept having mixed emotions, but they would only last a day, and than go away after he went to sleep. I told him that maybe it was best if we both moved on; and the look in his eyes killed me. I oculd tell me saying that hurt him. He started to cry; and he said he doens't want to lose me. He wants to be with me; and hes not ready to move on from me because he has so much faith in our relatioship. So instead I told him we would take it slow.
(break up information, to help with the advice)
****His ex Marissa, he was with for a year and 6 months. The broke up several times, becuase she iddn't wnat him anymore; she wanted matieral things, and riley isn't very lucky with money,(they are poor) and she left him three times; The third time, he decided it was time to move on and he knows it will not work between them. So 3 months later; me and him started talking again, and started dating in November. She went those three months with out talking to him, plus a month after me and him was together; and than she randomly called and said she's been thinkin about him lately, and wanted to talk. He let her come over; and they talked. I was hurt, we agrued about it; he apologized, and told her it was best if they never spoke again; ever since then, he's had mixed emotions. ****
Since we have been broken up; he called her Saturday morning, and found out she had a new boyfriend; he was pissed, but yeah.
I want to take him back. I can tell how sorry he is. But I want him to realize what he has in front of him; I want his mixed emotions to be completely gone before we try "us" again. I want to make him realize what he's done (even though he already says he has) I just want him to prove it. I told him I wanted to take it slow, and he said he was going to fight for me, and chase me because he wants more than anything to be with me again.
Im just afraid that by doing this; ima end up pushing ihm away, :/
So whats the best way for me to do this? To make him realize what he has, and to make him NEVER want to leave me again? How do I make sure his mixed emotions are gone, as well? (link)
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I think he's kind of in rebound mode and if I were in your position, I would allow more time for his actions to speak louder than his words and make him show you not just TELL you by being patient with you to take him back. Everything in life doesn't have to happen right this minute, some things are best with time and I think your relationship is one of those things. Patience requires self control and working towards a better relationship is best for you both.
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I am not sure how to begin. I am a male, 50 years old. I moved in with a 22 year old girl as friends and roommate. The first night she comes out looking sexy. We did some drinking. I did not
to the next level. I wanted this relationship to be friends. As time went on, we really hit it off being friends. Until now. She drives me crazy sexually. I am trying to keep this relationship as friends. I believe I can't. I might have to move out. This was a temporary place until my house is ready. My question is, should I confront her on the way I feel? Is it possible she might feel the same way? I have not felt this way for a woman in a long time. thank you.. (link)
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Talk openly and honestly to her about this and find out how she feels and then simply respect her wishes. If the situation is just too difficult as friends, it might be best to live somewhere else unless her feelings are reciprocated. I wish you the best of luck and love, age isn't a factor when it comes to matters of the heart between adults.
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19/f
the other night my boyfriend and i were having sex and we did it for about an hour and towards the end i didn't feel "wet" anymore and it started to hurt. I figured that it was just like that because we had sex for a long time but i still feel abnormally dry down there. is this normal? (link)
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Yes. Normal.
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So recently my boyfriend and I have been 'exploring' I guess you could say and like if were lying on a bed or just standing and full on kissing and picking up and I would get ' wet' downstairs and can I stop that? Then we were on the bed and had dry sex ( clothes on) and I would get wet and it gets annoying what can I do?! Thanks f/15 (link)
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Thats your body's natural reaction to being turned on. There is nothing you can do except maybe think of something else to keep yourself from enjoying it. But if you do that, then whats the point. Just accept it.
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I really love my husband but i keep having these thoughts what it would be like with out him we have a lot of problems and then again i feel like i do not have a good enough reason to leave him. our problems are i feel he yells at my son (his step son) to often and over stupid stuff if i correct him my husband throws a fit saying you are always telling him the oppisite, he is constatly trading and selling dogs, he hasnt had a job longer than a week since i have known him, his last real job was in like 2008 sometime, around the house i can not get him to do anything, if i ask him to do anything its days before he will do it and i ask him why its not done he says why do i have to jump up and do it. if i start to do it then hell get up. we had split up because i had surgery and he refused to help me i had to take care of my two kids and my self a day after i had surgery well while i stayed at my dads he gave my furniture away for a dog, all my dished and stuff are gone i have nothing any more and he doesnt seem to care. the furniture i am upset about i am still paying on them almost 3 grand i still own and he wont help me get them back and he still talks and hangs out with the people like nothing is wrong. sometimes i cant even think of the good things. its just once in a while he has good times were hell straighten up a little of offer to take my son with him to the store something like that. sorry so long. (link)
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You answered your own questions. Dump him!!!
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To begin with, I love my boyfriend...we always have a great time together and he is my best friend. He's the only guy I've ever done stuff more then kissing with and I've lost my virginity to him (and he lost his to me). This morning I woke up really happy because we had a date last night and it was really fun. But then I checked my facebook, and everyone else updated their status about them hanging out with friends and my best friend sent me a text and said she missed hanging out with me...I'm so confused, because I LOVE hanging out with my boyfriend, I'd rather hang out with him then anyone else, but at the same time I miss hanging out with my friends. I feel like my friends are just like "oh, she's always with her boyfriend now, she probably won't want to hang out with us anyway" and they never invite me to stuff like they used to :( I guess I have been more distant since I've been with this guy, and I miss my friends but I'd still choose to hang out with my boyfriend over hanging out with them...I don't know why but I've been craving the 'single life' lately, even though I'd never break up with my boyfriend, at least not right now. And I don't believe in 'taking a break'...if I ever broke up with him (or him with me), I couldn't ever allow us to get back together because if we can't work out the first time, then we probably can't work out the second time. So what do I do? I feel like I'm torn between my friends and my boyfriend, but I'm not...I'd rather hang out with my boyfriend. Maybe I just like the idea of being more social rather then actually doing it? A lot of times when I used to hang out with a friend, I'd get really bored and just want them to leave so I could be alone...I just don't know what's up with me! I'm so confused :( please help, any advice is appreciated!
Also, if it helps, I'm 17 and he's 18...we've been together for a little bit over a year. (link)
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You can't choose one over the other. Everything in life requires balance, that includes, friends and boyfriends. Your question is more about time management. Find ways to include them together and seperately. It's important to all relationships concerned, like plants they will eventually die without care. To preserve them all, nourish them all.
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Kinda long! But please I need your opinion!
22/f. I recently started talking to a guy that I met on tagged. I haven't seen him in person but we have seen pictures of eachother. We've been talkin for over a week now, almost all hours of the night, and I swear we can have a conversation about anything. I will admit, I am not the type to talk on the phone, so it MUST be serious if I'm sacrificing what little sleep I already get because I enjoy talking to him. For once, I'm talkin to a guy who is like myself in very many ways and is not about sex and all that. I can tell he is a very genuine person. We are both very focused on being friends first....
The thing is I know that one day he is going to want to meet me in person yet hasn't mentioned anything about it yet. I'm a big girl (BBW), and I'm just terrified that his opinion may change if he meets me in person. I mean I have pictures on my tagged showing me from my knees up, but I'm wearing black so you can't truly tell how big I really am... I am my worst enemy and there's many flaws that I know I have (big feet, etc.) But I will say what I lack in looks I make up for in personality.
I haven't dated in 4 1/2 years. So I am very shy when it comes down to it. I've been hurt numerous time and I've come to a point where I put my love life in PARK. I've found extra things to do to keep myself busy so the love life wouldn't be such a big deal. But it's tough cause I feel so alone. My friends are getting married and having kids and I feel just so out of the loop...
What do I do? Continue talkin to him? (link)
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If you can talk about anything, let him know your concerns. If he reacts in a way that offends you then that takes care of itself. Or you can opt to just continue the friendship with no romantic ideas. Eventually when you actually meet the right man, if he cares for YOU, there will be no question.
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so call me stupid, but I met up with this guy I met online a few days ago who I actually have mutual friends with and who lives a town over. He was sweet and bought me coffee and we walked around and talked for a while, getting to know each other. Until I stupidly obliged to go to his house with him (even though his parents were home -he's 20 almost 21 by the way, I'm 19). we just hung out for a while until he put it in a movie and that's where things took a turn...I had actually never even been kissed before (yeah, at 19) and obviously also never done anything else. well, we kissed, and did more.. we didn't have sex, which I'm glad we didn't, but I know he wouldve gladly wanted to. he's not a virgin and really experienced.
he keeps texting me now asking to hang out again, but my gut is telling me I shouldn't. He was nice and sweet, and had a cool personality but I wasn't really that attracted to him and the fact that the majority of our little date was sexual gives me a bad idea of what would happen at the next date.. this leaves me confused though because he was my first kiss and whatnot and if I don't see him again then I'm just another girl and he's just a random hookup.
there were times where things were cute- we were just cuddling on the couch and he'd be like "I like this" leading me to believe a relationship could form out of it.. but I don't know if I even want a relationship. let alone with him.
I'm confused. I feel like this was a bad idea to even meet up with him in the first place. I don't regret the fact that he was my first kiss, but I just don't know what to do or say to him now cause I don't think I want to see him again. help? (link)
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Be honest, tell him he's a nice guy, but you are only interested in being friends with him. You owe him NOTHING. He gave you coffee and you got kissed. End it there if that's what your gut says.
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ok so me and my girlfriend broke up over a month ago and we would see eachother almost everyweek atleast ones after that and it was amazing. but she still didnt want to get back with me and 2 weeks ago she started talking to someone else. and it looks like shes really into that person and all her friends love that person and they didnt really like me. and i really want her back cause i love her. what should i do to get her back????? im a girl btw. (link)
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You can't MAKE anyone love you, give it up and look elsewhere.
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I've been seeing this guy for about a year. I care about him a lot, and he feels the same about me. However, he is a little sexist, and pretty self-centered in bed.
We are exclusive, and dated for about 3 months but are currently on a break (still exclusive!) because we fought so much and titles just stress him out and make him feel obligated (and I must say I'm happier being what we are now than when we are in a relationship). But it still bugs me because I feel I'm not good enough for him, but he still calls me his girl. He knows it bugs me, but he doesn't like talking about it.
Also, he has kind of sexist views, he asks me to cook and clean, although I only do the cooking part every once in a while and he usually helps out. Cleaning is too much, but I clean up after myself. Note: we don't live together.
In bed, he is selfish. Its all about him. He doesn't kiss me, no foreplay whatsoever unless its on him. He won't perform oral on me, he said the thought of it grosses him out (I have great hygiene!), and where he's from guys get made fun of for doing that. He knows I don't orgasm from sex, but don't get me wrong I still enjoy it. I just feel like he doesn't care. And I've told him what I like, but he doesn't do it.
I'm not sure what to do. It's not a deal breaker, in all other aspects he's pretty much perfect. He respects me, he's proven he cares about me time and time again. But sometimes I do feel unappreciated and taken for granted. I guess I feel some resentment toward him. But I do genuinely enjoy making him happy, it makes me happy, and he also makes me happy in other ways. What do you think I should do?
We are both in college. And yes even though we aren't officially together, we are still exclusive and committed to each other. He is NOT using me for sex, trust me on this. And I don't cook for him that often either. (link)
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These small things, if bothering you now, will only bother you more as time goes by. You have 2 choices;
1. You talk to him, and be very blunt about whats on your mind, or
2. You stop seeing him and seek greener and more comfortable pastures.
All relationships have their problems, but when it's that gnawing thing deep inside you that sends red flags, you should always listen. Your heart will seek reasons to stay but your head will lead the way to better relationships.
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