MichaelaMarlene's advice column | MichaelaMarlene's Advice About Love Life

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Q: ok, lets start of by saying.. i hav this boyfriend right... weve been together for about a month and a half. everything is going good but theres a few issues i dont know how to handle.
1) his Ex... who happens to be one of my good friends.. the issue is .... i mean, i love her to death.. shes pretty cool with me, but ill admit she can be a real... hmm.. b**** to him too sumtimes. she never liked him. she used him. he fell really hard for her and he had liked her for a while and even wen they dated for that little time.. most of the time she was cheating on him (which i didnt know at the time). well anyways.. even tho she broke his heart repeatedly he still liked her after that for a while. hes tried to hav a few girlfriends after that but they never worked out because 1. him n the girls were usually not friends. 2. he wud always go back to liking his EX, even tho she hurt him so much..
ive tried to be there by his side during every single one of these situations... and ive stuck around because we were best friends, so i know wat would happen each and every time. but this time, he says its different. he even told me he loves me and i told him the same. but back to his ex, im afraid the same thing will happen.. becuz he still kinda considered her one of his best friends still !! and i dont wanna get hurt if he tells me the same old story...
im asking for help on how to make the feelings kind of go away.. i trust him with my heart and to not break it, but the feeling of fear is still there.. is there is way to make it go away?
im kind of happy because so far hes lasted with me longer than the 3 othr gf's after her tht lasted lik a few days...
but he even promises me that he would never hurt me because i mean the world to him, i was the only one that helped him get over his broken heart and hes so amazing and sweet to me.. i know he would never hurt me, or anyone on purpose because he knows what thats like and i know hes not the type of person to hurt sumone on purpose... but sumtimes you cant control your feelings, but i see differences than with the other girls.. *he told me he loved me. *hes lasted with me longer than the other girls *hes still amazing to me, even after this time we've been together and hes not showing any "shifty" signs.. meaning.. he doesnt seem to be "Moving on from me".. at least it seems it because he still acts the same, only every day he acts sweeter to me and more and more amazing and tells me how much he really loves me and that im the first person to realize who he really is and truely accept him..

hi i'm michaela...
i honestly think from my point of view that you really shouldnt worry about you and your boyfriend. he's there, he tells you he loves you,and shows it. he's told you and some times thats all you need. hes been there and you youv been there for him. he tells you and means that he loves you.
your friend doesnt sound like a true friend. you may love her to death and thats okay. but dont let her disrespect him or you. your boyfriend is the guy you love right. well let her know and that you arent going to stand for that. tell her she can just go suck a fat one...(just a line of defense, dont take it litterally). also he deservese to know the truth about her..i mean i wouldnt go all out and say every little detail just like shes talking behind your back and that she says she dont care about you and doesnt like you as a friend or anything more. but be calm sweet collected and caring about it. with real sincerity! just be there for him, every step of the way no matter what :]

Q: okay so heres the story (please be eager to listen :))

3 weeks ago i met 2 people theyre bestfriends lets call them apple and banana. apple likes me . and he thinks he has a chance with me because he kinda thinks i like him too (i kind of a tease but i try not to but i end up looking like one even if idont do it on purpose). but i like banana. his friend .

whenever i talk in person with apple .. banana interrupts and (pops up) in the conversation but he doesnt talk with me. HE TALKS WITH BANANA. he goes like:

"Hey banana! remember when.....?" Things like that

i dont know if he's trying to catch my attention or he dusnt wanna be ignored in front of me and apple or he just wanna "FIT IN".. or is he being rude or what?

the thing is I LIKE HIM. id really dont know if he knows that [cuz im a good actress wink wink]

i dont know what to do now ... i dont like apple i like banana.. what do i do in this situation.. theres more besides popping up in convos but its too long to write.

hi i'm michaela... okay well i think that he does like you and wants to get noticed..you should try talking to HIM more then apple. but try not to tease apple as much and let him on like a friend..like make it noticable like " your a good friend" or "i wouldnt want anything to change our friendship." as for banana talk to him more. be a tease to him but not to much.. it kinda sounds like he is shyish..just hang a round him and be a little flirty. be open and leave room for him to be open to talk. talk about things you may have in common, and through in some questions to get to know him. hope i helped..feel free to ask me anymore ?'s.
-michaela

Q: I'm in 8th grade and 13. I like this guy. He isn't popular or anything either. He hangs out with like nerdy people or whatever. I don't label people but I couldn't explain it. So I like him and he has a twin brother. I sometimes talk to him but hardly ever. I have 3 classes with him and its just confusing. I really don't know what I should do. Whenever I do talk to him, I get all hyper or something like that. I usually don't talk much, only with my friends. But I feel really comfortable talking to him. We have more of tiny little small talks though. I'll give you some type of example except it wasn't much of talking. I was asking out loud if anyone had any paper. And he doesn't sit near me but he looked over and gave me 4 pieces of paper. Haha more than I needed but he did. I think he is really nice but the thing is I don't know how to stop acting so weird. I don't know if he likes it or thinks I'm stupid. Please help me out. Thanks so much!

hi i'm 13/f and my name is michaela. i know what your going through..i liked a guy like that and he has a twin to lol. but i think you should talk to him more, like even have phone conversations, or just go up to his desk and talk to him, like about earlier activities and maybe some questions. but be you and dont be afraid, many people are a fraid of talking and miss out on alot of things that could happen. be open, be a friend and maybe try to get closer than a friend. talk about interests you guys have and stuff you might have in common. try hangin out with him more like walking to classes or your lockers.. but dont try so much its annoying. just talk a casual talk. i hope i helped. if you have anymore ?'s that you think i could help with. i will be happy to :)

Q: I can't seem to figure out whether i love my best friend as more than just a friend or as a bother and also vice versa i don't no whether he thinks of me more or just as his little sister. We spend nearly every day with each other and look out for each other no matter what. But recently we've started swimming and his attitude towards me changed. He has always hugged and kissed me but the other day he was doing it in the pool but it seemed lyk in a more flirty way. I can't seem to figure out whether he wants something more and whether i like him or not. He started liking my best friend for a while but even at that it was over and done with very quickly and i think i was a bit jealous. I don't no whether i was jealous of him and hers relationship or whether i was jealous that he'd spend more time with her than me. I'm so confused . Any advice would be greatly appreciated x

hey it sounds like your in a sticky situation girl. i'm 14/f. well my name is michaela and what i would do is the next time you are with him..i would really keep my eyes open and really look at him, i mean like really look at him for who he is not looks. but try to see how he acts around you and look for little clues to show that he may like you or just as a little sister. also i think you are a little jealous but its perfectly normal. just dont let him and your friend get to your head. because it may not even last. as for him spending more time with her he could just think she is cool, or likes her, or is trying to make you jealous. but see how he reacts to you if you try to flirt some. that could really bring him out..he may flirt back or just take it as a joke. also when the time is right and you think you should talk to him about how you feel definately do it, but make sure he feels the same or it may cause awkwardness between you to... but keep an open heart and an open mind okay.
i hope i seriously helped. good luck girl.

Q: okayyyyyyy

so i like this kid ; lets call him "aaron"
and ive been liking him ever since the beginning of the school year;and thats pretty LONG.

i know he likes me. and he knows i like him.

but hes really shy.
and that led to - hmm. 2 sentences said to eachother .. twice a week?

Yeah if im lucky maybe 3 times.

and its been like that ever since.

we would hang out occasionally and talk on the phone, but i heard hes planning to ask me out.

Hes been saying that for the loongest time, or so i heard ( but i know its true), and now that its getting to the end of the year; i KNOW hes going to ask me out

problem;
If he cant even talk to me now.. how is he going to talk to me when we go out?

Another problem:

Also. uhhh. ha, im falling for his close buddy.
lets call him "Dave"
Me and Dave always talkkkk.
And im never nervous with him, i tell him everything and im always myself and he actually TALKS to me.
the other day i hung out with "Dave" and .. things happened.
We got realllyyy close.
And thats how i got my first kiss...

Yeahh..
but uh; im not sure if i still like "aaron"
.. i do and i dont.
And i told one of my best friends about it; and shes not supporting me..
well.. she kinda liked him for a year and when Dave was going to ask her out, she decided she didnt like him- and then went out with another guy.

So, she thinks its weird and it wont work out.
Also all my other friends say "it will ruin everything"

and .. how bad does it sound when im going out with - the guys that likes me and i liked him-'s best friend?

UGHHH.
so me and dave have been keeping it a secret.
and i only told like 3 people about it.

im screwed.
How do i prove my point that its NOT a big deal if i DO like him- shes the one who REJECTED him and moved on. why is this a big deal?
.... i like two guys and that cant be good.

just someone..
help me. give me some good long advice.
its eating at my bones; i NEED to figure this out.

thanks.
I need help!

14/f
hi. yeah i wanted to try to help you out on this. my name is michaela. well as for "aaron" and not being able to talk to him well i would just go up to him and jsut start talking away..like not asking questions but yeah know just talking about random things that happened..or something like that. and well as for his buddy "dave" i would lay low and just talk more with "aaron" and get to know him and talk more than about two sentences or three. i know its hard and complicated but trust me you can do it. also your friend who isnt supporting you..she might be jealous..its an easy thing to be..:)but just try and see where she is coming from but also if she cant be there to have your back 100% then she isnt a true friend.. and i really mean 100%. but anyways what people are saying about you and "dave" not working and you and him will like ruin things or of your chances with "aaron" that is a loud of crap okay. first of all follow your heart and do what you think is best. you know yourself more than anyone. but seriosly before you just go off with "dave" take another look at "aaron" i mean get to know him alot i mean even if things dont work out you can never have to many friends. plus getting to know someone for who they are for who they are..well that can be a special thing and not many people do that anymore..and it can really open your eyes to alot.

Q: i like this guy and i think he likes me back. we see eachother on the bus and i usually sit next to him. he flirts with me and one of his friends told me that he wants to ask me out but hes too afraid. so what do i do? im desperate! :(

hi
well i wass thinking about your question and well maybe you should give alot of hints but not to strongly that you like him to and he shouldnt be afraid, maybe you should direct your attention to him more, but delicately.

Q: Alrighty, my boyfriend is in the United States Navy. We have now been together for 2 and a 1/2 years. I am a junior in highschool,and prom is coming up. Prom was supposed to be on April 19th and my boyfriend was going to be able to take leave to go with me..so I went ahead and got this super sexy dress, I was so excited to be able to get dressed up for him and for us to have a good time together. But my school is stupid and decided to change prom to April 11th....so now my boyfriend isn't sure if he can go..but he says probably not.He is very upset..... he is the jealous type...I cant blame him though...it's only normal when he only sees me every 2or3 months. I don't know if I should just not go and throw away the $400 I've put into prom, or if I should find a reasonable guy to go with, or if I should go alone and hope I have fun. Please help me.

i think you should go with your friends, maybe try and call him if you can...i dont know if you can but i'm just suggesting, and also i think it would be really sweet if maybe you made himm get dressed up and say your taking him to a surprise...but see the surprise would be like a mini prom so he could go, with your friends there... :}
i hope i gave you a possibility

Q: OK, i got a new account on advicentaros & im back. I got a small love problem.

There is this guy who i used to go to elemantry school with and we had one class together for 3 years, he went to high school and iswitched elemantry school and we did not talk for awhole year. Now, im in high school and hes in grade 10, we both go to different schools. But me and him and my friend and his friend chill a lot. So, my friend and his friend are going out. But me and him(the guy iwent to school with) had macde out, chilled every week, but than after we made out we chiled couple times and never flirted or kissed. He told my frined how he thinks it akward to go outwith me because he had known me for so long. But now i feel sad and i dont know what to do because ireally like him & i want to go out wiht him, we have many things in common and it would just be right. But, i dotn know what to do because he feels it akward..what should i ido if i still really want him :( ??

Thank you so much

you should just be a little playful around him i mean just joking kinda like flirting but dont let him catch on...just do it every so often. :]

Q: I go to a club and there is this boy that goes there. We got on normally, didnt speak a tonne to eachother but talked. He then got my msn and we started talking more, just normally. After three months of being friends he told me he liked me, but didnt bother doing anything about it. I didnt like him. I'm not ready for a relationship. This was about october. Then in january he asked me out. I told him id think about knowing that i would say no because i didnt like him. But then i began to think we'd be good together even though i didnt like him and it confused me. I came to conclusion that i didnt like him. I turned him down. It all turned out awkard and we got angry with eachother. Now we are friends and are acting like normal but i dont like it and its annoying because after everything we felt, or said is still there and its being pushed to one side. it ended before it started. Where do we take it from here - are we friends or not? Should I still talk to him?He compliments me a lot too

you guys should talk it out and dont let him push it to the side. if you guys keep going on like thins and dont talk about were you guys are at then it will just get worse and it will always be in your head. then you will never feel comfortable around him. approach the situation gently and just dont let him expect it.

Q: if a guy says "good night, beautiful" to you, what's something witty to say back to him if you like him? but you're not going out. like you're friends but he says that quite often to you?

well you should try saying something like "night handsome" but in a play full teasing way. i've learned that if you say something like night sexy or something then well you will either get a cocky smile or a look that says " that seriously didnt work right there" but ya saying a guy is handsome is a bit more suffisticated and guys dont here that alot. and it can be a good thing because it shows that if you say it in a way of teasing but you mean it then it shows that you are mature in some ways and that you arent some gurl who likes revulting things and that you can really mean it. guys take it as a compliment even if you joking and its a great way to hit it off. even if you are saying it as a friend then you can be good friends or...more

Q: My boyfriend is getting me a promise sing. So I'm thinking about getting him one too. A silver one with outside engraving. I'm not sure what it should say. I was thinking of putting our anniversay date on it or I love you. I guess i don't want to mess up on the text. Any suggestions?

Should I just go for the names and a heart in between it?

okay well if you have not been together for a long time then it should be just simple. but if its getting serious you should try "forever" or " i promise forever" my friends have this relationship going on and its getting serious and all they say is "i love you baby and i promise forever" but idk how old you are or what.. my friends are older than me so ya. but i hope i helped you out alittle and gave you some ideas before you did the engraving!!! good luck!!!

Q: ok im 14/f
the guy i like is 13
and hes perfect an every single way!
for real he is!
perfect hair perfect body
perfect smile
and perfect girl friend!!
i have been crushing on this guy for ever but resonantly its been over whelming every where i turn there he is.
its making me crazy!
we talk every day we flirt every day we hug every day until last Monday.where this girl asked him out!and i was just about to ask him. but she butted right in and was like will you go out with me and he looked up at me if i was supposed to tell him the answer/witch i wish i had!\ ok anyway today in p.e he was standing next to one of his perfect friends and he smiled at me i mean im not usually the girl who is happy when a guy smiles at me but the way he smiles at me the way he tilts his head to the right a lil like we were about to kiss gives me the chills so i smiled and then his friend asked him something under his breath and mr.perfect over there just pointed and was like yteah she is... and he winked at me and i was a lil scared of what he said so...i walked over there and then i was like hey cutie (i thought to my self ohmygod did i say that out load!)but he was like hi beautiful! it was amazingly cute! and his perfect friend was like well ill just leave u to perfectly cute people alone! ahh does that mena he said i was cute ahh what if he did all these things coming to my head so i loked at hima dn he said me and my gf are in a fight i was like yessssssssss in my head this time lol and he said i think im going to tell her i dont want her drama right now but of course i was stupid and told him that that sounded mean and to give her a lil bit longer so she can get over her dramma and he took my advice ahh im so stupid he could have been mine but i couldnt help to be nice to his gf!she was perfect!and with her lil robot friends perfect too.but mr. perfect is perfect for me we like everything the same we have so much fun together =\ its sad when you dont say something that needs to be said because im starting to really like him more then i have liked any guy!!!dude what do i do!because im not one to wait for a guy

hi well i think that you should wait for the perfect timing and then tell him how you feel. but dont ask him out. make him want you more than the other girl. BUT BE YOURSELF!!!if he knows you well enough he should be able to tell that you like him and when you are lying :]
if he cares he will be there and he will listen

bio

hi i'm michaela. i have had a pretty down life but there are good things. i think alot of people have had it hard. some people try to understand but only the person who has had that one thing happen to them can only really know how they feel.everyone has emotions and feelings that are different from others. even if others were in that same position. they just have a different perspective of it. well i have a huge family. i have some issues with my parnts but ya. i try to help lots of people.. as much as i can. i write things to help me deal with stuff but sometimes i have to find something else. i love to give advice and i am willing to help anyone with questions!! i try to give the best possible answer i can!!!