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Okay well Right now I am Dating "Rob" but before i dated Rob. I was dating "Al". So heres the story, in Noverber i started dating Al and we hit it off and our relatioship was amazing. Then I met Rob, who was my ex-bestfriend ex-boyfriend. I knew Rob for awhile. but after they broke up we really started hangin out and he becamse my best friend. At first we were just friends but then we kissed. So i cheated on Al and i felt so bad but i never told him..i know..dumb..but yeah. Later in March i find out that he is doing things i don't agree with..smoking and drinking and things. I gave Al like 3 chances to stop and stop doing onther things, and one time i thought he was going to hit me, but i still dated him. well after Al found out through a letter, he cheated on me. So I broke up with him becsaue i found this out and we got in a huge fight. Then Rob asked me out and i said yes. I've been dating Rob for about a month but everytime i see Al. I just want to be with him and hold his hand and hug him and kiss him. Even thou he has cheated on me and scared me and everything. He really is amazing but at the same time Rob is amazng too. So my question is what should i do? Should i date Rob or Al..i knwo you can't tell my feelings. but what do you think would be best for me. Al is 15 and Rob is 16, in my grade. Al's parents hate me, robs parents love me. Rob gets money so we can do things. Al doesn't. but at the same time. i love Al.so pleeease help!

It seems like your better choice would be "Rob", even though it is still hard for you to let go of your attraction to "Al". Rob seems to be a "safe sider" to me, while Al is a typical "bad boy". I get that it's hard to fight your affection to Al, but you mustn't forget that he already got your heart broken, and, if you ever get back together, probably will again.

So yes, Rob is a better option, but if you aren't sure if you're happy with him or not, maybe you should take a small break, to sort through your feelings. You need to find out what is it that makes Al so attractive to you, and why your relationship with Rob are not completely satisfying, even though Rob is "amazing" AND your friend too.

Maybe what you need is some quality time to let go of old feelings and try to build something new with someone you'll be able to appreciate for his good qualities, but won't have to disregard his bad ones to feel good or safe with him.


Love, Alyssa.

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I run a hacker culture blog (bsdpunk.blogspot.net), and often I get requests from people on how to use a keylogger on their computer or to view their Instant Messaging traffic. Typically my first question after receiving these are "Why don't you try talking to her?", because they are usually heartbroken 16 year olds(if that), but then I help them out anyway? Is this a bad thing? Should I not help? I am one confused punk.

Okay, first of all I have to say I'm greatly flattered that you're asking me for advice. You really don't seem to be a heartbroken 16 years old to me...

I'm not exactly a "pro" on hacker culture, but I viewed your blog, which is very nice by the way (so techno-goth), and I found there about four posts on keylogging. Helping is really not a bad thing, but you can't say that you're not helping people, whether you answer their additional requests or not. But if you want to help as much as you can, you could create a sort of a FAQ or Help forum for your blog (that is, if you don't already have one), where, if you answer a question for one person, you won't have to repeat it to another. Also, if you can manage to drag a few buddies on your forum and make them admins, you won't have to deal with all the noobs on your own.

Or you could just make a regular FAQ and put it on your blog, where all the questions and answers from newbies are listed and already answered. In any case, you could always direct them to Google. But if you'd like to keep your audience yours, you might consider not sending them off to anywhere else, so they would keep on returning to your blog frequently.

That's my humble opinion. :)


Lyss.

P.S. By the way, if you feel uncomfortable with helping underage kids with hacking, you could try telling them to solve their problems some other way. But I think you and I both know that if they're really got their minds set on something, they'll just go somewhere else. So it's up to you whether you'd like to keep them as they are on your blog, or let them roam freely through the web.

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I am 25 years old and i want to know if my husband raped my sister or someelse

I'm sorry, but I cannot give you advice if I have no idea what this is about. Why do you suspect your husband of doing such a thing? Did he ever rape anyone before? What does your sister say about all this? Unfortunately, I can't give you any real help if I don't know what's going on, or why you believe your husband raped someone.

About your sister... If a woman claims she had been raped, there are ways to prove it, only you have to act fast. If the incident took place, and a woman contacted the authorities, or went to seek medical assistance after it happened, it is possible to prove that crime had occurred, and the identity of a person responsible.

Here's what I found on that topic:

"It is very important that rape victims seek emergency medical attention as soon as possible after their rape occurs. Rape victims should not wash or douche or in any way clean themselves after a rape has occurred and before they have had medical attention. This is because the rape victim's body is a crime scene which is likely to contain samples of the rapist's body fluids. In many cases, doctors can recover samples of these fluids which can later be used against the rapist in a court of law."

Maybe this information helped you a little, and if not, you can also try to get some counseling on the "outside", or the real world, so to speak.

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my girlfriend broke up with me and I am so broken hearted and I want her back what can I do?

I guess a person is not something you can have back on demand. I don't know your situation (or your age for that matter), but relationships are not always about love, romance, and flowers. Sometimes they're about breaking up, breaking hearts, and feeling lost when things go wrong. Maybe it was love between you and your girlfriend, or maybe it wasn't. Only you know how you feel about her, and only she knows how she feels about you. Maybe you should go through your feelings and emotions to understand if you really love her or not. Give her time to do the same. But if she cannot return your love, I think you should better try to heal your wounds, and let yourself accept the possibility of loving someone else; someone who'll return your love and help you to be happy again.

I wish you to let yourself be happy.


P.S. Sorry for the late response.

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...But I don't know what to do. When I see a girl kissing a guy, I get seriously turned off...But when I see a girl kissing a girl or something...it seems right to me. I sometimes get aroused by the latter. This is very strange...and I have no idea how it came about. The thing is - sometimes I like guys too! When they kiss a girl, or when a guy talks to me. I have NO idea what's going on. I might be bisexual, or I might be a full lesbian. No idea what's going on with me...I sometimes have thoughts and weird lesbian dreams. o_o...sometimes it scares me. I haven't told anyone. But there are certain clues...In school, sometimes when a girl passes by, or something...like a PRETTY girl...I for some reason (without even REALIZING) tend to stare at her for a while (Like, "check her out")...and it seems VERY weird. I don't even realize what's going on - and then my friends have to tell me that I'm going to be late to class. I just find girls SO pretty. I don't know...I myself am a VERY girly person. (I'm 15/f). This is very foreign to me...lol. :(...is it too young of an age? And what exactly is happening?

You may like both, girls and boys, and there is nothing wrong about it. Right now, it could be a difficult situation since you're in school, but when you'll get older, it won't be so much of a problem to you. You will be more aware of the fact that you have a right to choose your sexuality, since you're the one who lives your life. For now, maybe it's better to explore the nature of your attraction to both, girls and boys. If you like a girl, you may ponder for a while on what it is that attracts you to her. It could be a physical aspect, or maybe something deeper? If you find yourself drawn to a boy, again, ask yourself, what is it that made you turn to him.

Some girls find female body as beautiful as the male body, or, for that matter, even more beautiful. You may like girls in their physical form, but it doesn't mean that you would like to have a romantic relationship with any of them. Besides, when you will really fall in love, you'll realize that looks are not as important as personality. Beauty can capture your attention, but what happens after that is a totally different story. Beauty may be a plus, but when you already love someone, you are attracted to the person because of who he or she is, and you'd be surprised how big of a turn-on could be that simple knowledge of who it is touching you.

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I don't understand this...I'm already in the 9th grade...and ALL of my friends have boyfriends! What do guys look for in a girl? Because, to me, it looks like I don't have it. I'm NOT a pushover, I don't dress slutty, and I'm not flirty. Let's also say that "I'm not easy to "get to"". I don't know. I'm a VERY good student....and I get good grades....but this seems like somewhat of a turn off for guys. And those guys that are nerdy (but cute) too, still don't PAY attention to me! It's like I'm invisible...It's just not fair. ;_;

Maybe you act or feel a little older than people of your age, and because of that it may be slightly difficult for you to find a boyfriend in your school. I, personally, didn't have a boyfriend when I was a teen, because I didn't feel like the guys of my age were right for me, so I didn't even like anyone then. You said that boys don't pay you much attention, but you didn't say if you even like any of them. You know why romantic relationships that started in school come to an end after graduation? Because when you're in school, you are surrounded by people who are simply there. You don't choose your surrounding until you start your own, adult life.

People, teens in our case, get together because even if you're really young and might know very little about love, you still want someone by your side. If you don't have a boyfriend yet, don't get upset. It is not easy to find someone who will understand you and give you the attention you need. Even if ALL of your friends have boyfriends, it doesn't mean that they feel love for them, or being loved for that matter. A lot of girls live from crush to crush, but if you are not one of them, it could simply mean that in your heart you are waiting for true love to begin. It could take time, but some things are just worth waiting. As it was said in one famous song lyrics, "listen to your heart". You definitely deserve something better than just a come-and-go school crush, if you feel that it is not for you.

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okay well i really like this guy. lets call him "Fred", hah anywayss. hes always flirting with me but when i asked him out today. he said no. i thought i acctually had a chance becuase we;ve gone out before in october. please help =[

Well, "no" means "no". If he doesn't want to go out with you, than maybe you should think of giving your attention to other boys. Try to figure out what it is that attracts you to him, and why do you think he is right for you. Maybe if he doesn't like you in "that" way, you can find the qualities you are most attracted to in someone who will feel "that" way about you after all?

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19/F

I had a (male) friend over today, and we were watching movies and drinking together. Just innocent fun.

I ended up getting more tipsy than I usually do, and we ended up starting to have sex. I sobered up pretty quickly and made him stop before we actually did, and sent him home.

Here's the thing: I have a boyfriend who I love dearly. We're talking about moving in together when our leases expire, and we've discussed marriage.

He's the one I really want, and I feel sick having cheated on him. I know I could never do it ever again. I hate what I did.

So my question is, what do I do? Do I tell him? Will that hurt him more than if he doesn't know? Should it be on a "don't ask, don't tell" basis?

Keep in mind that my boyfriend is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life, and that this friend was equally as intoxicated as myself.

Thank you! I'm tearing myself to pieces because of this.

To tell him the truth or not may be a hard, yet inevitable choice to make. This is your life, and it is up to you what kind of relationship you're going to have with your boyfriend. Telling him the truth may lead to losing him, or at least to lots of angst and tears. But having such a secret to keep, may also be pretty tough for you. Besides, if you'll decide to keep it a secret, you will have to make sure that your boyfriend won't find it out from someone else. If the friend you almost slept with told someone about your making out, and that someone did the same, and then it repeated, you, my darling, may find yourself in a very unpleasant Ross & Rachel kind of situation. So, decide a direction in which you will go with this, and try to do everything you can to keep your happiness, and work on your relationship, independently from the choice you've made. Remember, true love and happiness are not the common things, so probably it's something both, you and your boyfriend don't want to lose.

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so i was watching The Wedding Date earlier, very good movie and the guy said

"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met. "

what exactly does that mean?


THANKS!!

It means, that if you live your life without having someone really special to love, you will always have a kind of emptiness inside, because everybody want someone to love. You know like young girls often fall in love with the movie and book characters? Well, it's because even if you don't have anyone to love in your life, it doesn't mean that you don't have the love for that. Everybody have a love to give, and when you meet someone who seems to be so right and familiar to you as if you've known them all your life, all the love that wasn't expressed, springs out in happiness, which only makes you realize why it was there all along.

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my bf is going off to college. he's a senior and im a few years younger. i thought i would be happy about it and glad that he was going and getting accepted into good schools but im not. i feel bad about it but im just not happy about it. do you think its because all of the stories about how they leave you when they go to college? we have been dating for around 5 years. any ideas or tips?

I understand that you're upset by this situation, but when it's time to leave school, many people realize that a lot from the past is going to be left behind. Your fear is probably that he will leave you behind too, and you don't know how you're going to feel without him after all these years together. School love life usually stays in its walls, but it depends on the love, not the school.

No one promises you that you will be together forever, and no one knows if he will want things to stay as they are, but it is not the circumstances that make your relationship flower of fade; it is you. You might have been together before because you liked each other, and you may break up because you grew tired of each other. And finally, you may get back together in a few years, because due to your new life experiences, you suddenly changed into the people perfect for each other.

No one knows how things will turn out in the end, but when you both are growing older, it is time for you to learn to recognize the love when it is in front of you. Maybe I went a little off-topic here, but if you're so worried about him being away, you might want to ask yourself, if it's because you don't want someone very dear for you to be away, of simply because you don't trust him enough to let him live the life *he* wants to live.

Just know that if you really love him, and it is not the kind of love that ends after the school is over, you will have to learn to trust him and respect his freedom, because when you will go to college, you may want to have your freedom respected too.


Lyssa.

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