Hello there, my name is Kayla, my close friends call me Kaylo, but you may call me Kayla Jay. I'm here on Advicenators because I like helping people. I'm always willing give advice on any topic, but my favorite topics are on relationships. So send over any question at all and I'll be happy to help!
-Kayla Jay
Gender: Female
Member Since: January 3, 2006
Answers: 26
Last Update: February 17, 2007
Visitors: 3322
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I was just at the slopes last night, and i saw this really cute guy. me and him made eye contact the whole night, then at the end i saw his friend and told him that his friend was cute. He then told him, then the guy came up to me and i got his number. I dont know if i should call him or when to call him. I'm also afraid that if i do call he will think im weird, or we wont have anything to talk about. Any ideas what to do? (link)
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Since he gave you his number, he obviously wants you to call him. How long ago was this again? Wait two or three days, then when you call him, ask him when he's free to do something, since it sounds to me like he wants to get to know you more. I doubt he'll think you're weird for calling him, since he gave you his number and all, he's probly waiting right now! But really, when you call, just be yourself, don't be nervous, and don't worry.
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I've been kind of bummed lately. I am 14, I have never kissed a girl, or even had a girlfriend.
I have plenty of friends (enough to make me happy), and I have no problem talking to girls as friends, but not other than that.
I have had plenty of girls that "liked" me, but most of the time it didn't work out (for random reasons), or they just didn't seem right for me.
Unlike a lot of guys, I am not just in it for sex (that would be great, but it's not my first priority). I just want someone to be with. (link)
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Aaawwww, you sound like a sweet guy.
Okay, let me tell you; I didn't have a serious boyfriend until I was fifteen, and I was his first serious girlfriend too! (well not too serious since it didn't last that long, but I'm straying formt he subject) Since you seem like such a down to earth, honest kind of guy, I'm thinking you'll find the right girl for you. Unfortunately, it will happenwhen you're not looking for it. I know, I was angry when i first heard this too, but it's true. When I was about your age, I wanted a boyfirend and I was so angry that I couldn't find one. Evreyone kept telling me "you'll find one when you least expect it," and wouldn't you know it, they were right. So here's my advice to you- You're only fourteen, so live it up. Don't concern yourself with dating too early or you'll get tired of it. Hang out with girls, be flirty, and overall, ahve fun. But he idea of dating girld out of your mind and try to be more like a friend so that your mind is off of dating. When you leats expect it, you will find the right girl.
And the sex thing? Yeah, continue not concerning yourself with that too.
Hope I was helpful,
Kayla Jay
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I dont even know where to start.
Well, ok. My BFF Got a new boyfriend Named Kyle and she was most deffinetly in love I could tell! Then she found out Kyle has a brother thats my age too!His name was Brian so we decided to go on a double date! I was so excited to meet him. We all went to the buffet for the date. When I met brian we never stopped talking! we chated for hours! so long, my BFF and kyle left and said they would see us later. that night we talked on the phone for hours and the next day we went to the movie. before it started Brian asked if I would be his girlfriend! I was so shocked I said yes. I really really really liked Brian! so Bad! at the movie we held hands!!! then this is where the problum started - you see, Kyle and Brian are birthly brothers but Brian's mom got divoreced with kyles dad. and Brian had a new dad, But kyle was still living with his real father, Then in a car accedent Bolth his mother and father died so he had to live with Kyle and his dad. Fora week Brian seemed deppressed. I asked constently why finnaly he told me that story. I was crying. so he didnt even know his brother that well. But 2 days latter he got over it and me and my BFF wanted to go on another Double date. a real one sense we were all going out. But then my BFF had to tell Brian somthing so she toke him somewhere privet and it was just me and Kyle. Kyle was across from me at the table. Then Kyle touched my leg. "What are you doing?" I asked him he said nothing. and I shoved his hand off. Then He said "You know your pretty atractive." and he touched my leg even higher I said leave me alone! Im going to tell Brian! then he said Yeah Lanie Im really sure he wants to hear about this when his mom and dad just died a month ago. and whos word will he take, yours agenst mine? i mean he just met you. Im his brother. I stod up, begginging to cry, Then kyle got up and french kissed me I pulled him away then bumped into brian. luckily he didnt see the kiss. whats wrong Brian asked me I got somthing in my eye. I lied. i mean kyle was right he would take his side. I found out my BFF only told Brian to hold the door open for me. Now whenever Kyle see's me alone he tries to do "Stuff" to me. I couldent tell brian espeshily beacuse jus got over his parents and I couldent tell my BFF b/c well..you know hes her B/f!! Then things get worse, Brian Told me He wasent paying enough attention to me so he french kissed me! then 1 day later we started making out but I dont know! whenever Im making out with brian it makes me think of kyle. I know its not my fault But I feel like I'm cheeting on him. Kyle acts normal around Brian and my BFF But when we are alone.well you know. and I try to get away. somtimes I make it other times I dont. Please I need help advice advice! -
Lanie Day (link)
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Wow dude, I was reading this and I was like "this is like something out of a soap opera or something."
But anyways, let me just say that Kyle is a scumbag for doing that. Telling you that telling Brian would be a bad idea was very low of him to do, seeing as what he is doing to someone he calls his friend is ten times worse. You have got to let someone know immediately what is going on, but first, you must confront Kyle. Tell him that what he's doing to his brother is definately much much worse that what you're doing. Tell him that if this doesn't stop, you'll tell your best friend. She's a victim in this too. Judging by what he says, go to your freind and tell her. She has a right to know, since she's being cheated too. Assure her that you're not lying, tell her all the times this happened, if you bring up the times you ened up alone with Kyle, she may be more likely to believe you. You should probly tell her about the first time this happened, explain that you didn't have soemthing in your eye, you just didn't want to upset either her or Brian. Once she's convinced, you have got to tell Brian, he needs to know too. If you really care about this boy you have to be absolutely honest with him. I don't think I can help you much beyond this point, all you have to do now is be brave and hope that this whole mess will come to an end. Of course people will get hurt, but this whole situation is Kyle's fault to begin with. I hope everything will work out for you and Brian in the end (he sounds like such a sweet guy).
Best of Luck,
Kayla Jay
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On myspace a band sent me a friend request and I accepted it. I clicked onto their profile and I loved their music! They arn't a popular band, they are just starting out so I clicked onto their pictures to see what they looked like. One of the members of the band, his name is Linzy, caught my eye. The second I saw his picture I fell in love. He's not even that cute, but he's all I can think about. On the page it listed all of their screen names so I IMed Linzy and I talked to him for an hour. I told him I loved him and I wrote him a poem and I told him hes sexy and I want to be his girlfriend, and first off these things just slipped out, I started typing them and I couldn't stop myself. And second of all I don't even know him and I'm randomly obsessed. I asked him for his personal myspace and I sent him a friend request. I sent him a total of like 10 messages and comments in 3 hours. I commented all of his pictures saying "your so hot and sexy." This guy is 5 years older then me and he smokes weed, and I don't know how I can love him but I just do. I found out he has a girlfriend, and I got soooooo jealous. I don't even know him and every single person that left him a comment on myspace, I got sooo jealous for no reason. I can't stop leaving him comments saying I love him. I asked him if he liked me, and he said well I never even met you. When Linzy is not online I talk to all of the other people in his band and I ask them about Linzy. What his interests are, what he does for fun and stuff. They seriously must think I'm a freak. I dream about him and think about him all the time, and the most I've seen of him is a freakin PICTURE. I tried deleting his screen name and deleted his myspace and the band's so I could get over him, but then 10 seconds later I added his screen name again because I missed him. I don't know why I'm so obsessed when 1. I don't know him, 2. He's not cute, 3. He's alot older then me. I'm soooooo obsessed I tell all my friends about him and stuff. And him and his band have a concert that's coming right near where I live and I already bought tickets. I don't know why I'm so obssessed with him, when the other people in his band are way cuter. He's the uglyest one. And I don't like him because of his personality, because hes got the most boring personality in the world and he's soooo shy. And I promised myself I would never like any one who smokes, and he smokes weed daily and here I am OBSESSED with him. He's really nothing special. What can I do to get rid of these feelings about him. I don't know him and I'm never going to meet him, so do you think the reason I'm so obsessed and like him so much is a warning or some kind of thing God's telling me that he's the one for me. Maybe God's trying to hint to me that he's Mr. Right??? I've never felt like this about a guy, and I haven't even met this dude!! And I know he's not a 50 year old stalker because my friend went to his concert. What do I do?!??!?! I'm making myself sooo anxious and I have to go online every 5 mins to check if he sent me a comment on myspacee. Help!!!! (link)
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Okay darling, here's the thing; I think maybe the reason why you spend so much time IMing this guy and sending him messages and comments is because you're bored. I know it doesn't seem like it, but really. It's proven that people who spend too much time on myspace are bored and are on it so much because they have nothing better to do. I think first off, you should find a better, more productive way to spend your time. If you find something to do that will keep you off myspace, hopefully it will keep your mind off this guy for a while too. Find something, ANYTHING, to distract you from it. Next, you should always ALWASY keep in mind that you have never ever met this guy, Maybe he's not so great in person. (I know you said he's not cute but looks don't really matter) PLus there's the age difference and the fact that he smokes weed. If you're against the whole weed thing, that should definately be a turn off. I think maybe you should try meeting someone else. You said this guy already has a girlfriend, so it seems to me like you have a very, very, very, very, very slim chance of ever having a relationship with him (plus, no offense, but you really came off kinda stalker-ish and you probly creeped him out a bit)
So basically what I'm telling you to do is forget about this guy and try to find someone else, someone you can actually be with (and someone who will keep you off mypsace for five minutes) I know this may be hard, but you have to try. Having this obsession with someon eyou've never met is very unhealthy.
I hope this was helpful,
-Kayla Jay
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im 15/f
okay so i have a boyfriend, lets call him "Mark". We just started going out like couple weeks ago. The thing is that we were BEST friends before we started going out and now that we go out, I cant see him as my boyfriend... just a friend.
So, theres this guy, lets call him "Joe". Well, Joe likes me. He wanted to go out with me before Mark asked me out but I said I wanted to get to know him more. Well, now I've gotten to know Joe more and I really like him too.
I know if I break it off with Mark and go out with Joe, things will definitly not be the same as they were. But I really just cant see myself in a relationship with Mark.
So what should I do? Stick with Mark or go for Joe?
Please Help! Thanks in Advance! (link)
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No matter what you choose to do in the end, you should get out of your relationship with Mark. If you don't have feelings for this boy and can't see yourself as more than just his friend then there's no point in staying in the relationship, it's not fair to him. Just tell him what you wrote here; you think the two of you are much better off as friends. Things will probly change between the two of you, you probly won't ever get to be as cloe as you once were.
If you really like this boy Joe, then you should go for him. Give it a little time after breaking it off with Mark, continue spending time with Joe as you normally would, and then go for it. If the two of you like eachother and you seem compatable, there's no reason why you shouldn't give it a try.
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i just got back from an all state choir camp and one of the guys i go to school w/ was there. ill be a sophmore and hes gonna be a freshman but he turns 15 in 2 months and i wont be 16 til february. we flirted alot at camp, at our meals together in the group of people we were w/, we hung out together at the talent show and danced together at the dance. basically, we flirted ALOT hes cute and taller than me (which is a big deal b/c im 5'9) and ive known him for a while. do you think im being silly about this since hes gonna be a freshman? my friends will think im crazy but he makes me laugh all the time. hes a total sweetheart. what do you think? thanks! (link)
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I really don't think dating a younger guy is a big deal at all. My boyfriend is five months younger than me (and a junior whereas I'm a senior)and we couldn't be happier. If you're worried about your friends not approving, just explain to them that you really like this boy and you really think this relationship could work out. He seems like a really sweet guy, I say go for it.
I also get how it's a plus that he's taller than you. I'm five foot seven and a half, my boyfriend is five foot ten.
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This is going to be long.
My best guy friend, Sam, I don't know what is going on with him! He would always flirt with me and talk to me. I heard him say that I was hot to one of his friends at the beginning of the year if that matters.
I also heard his friends tryings to guess who he was going to ask out and they kept saying my name and he didn't respond. All he did was stare at me and that day in my last class. right before the bell rang, his friend was like, "Do you like Sam?" and I was like, "Ummmm...No. Why?" and hes like, "Oh, just wondering." and he went out the door.
on my birthday I had invited sam to my party, which was that weekend. I took 10 of my best friends to a movie. While we were in line waiting for the popcorn, he asked if i was going to the dance on tuesday and I said, "Oh. Probably." he smiled and looked at his friend and the exchanged some weird look and then his friend said, "sam doesnt have anyone to go with." and they both stared at me expecting me to say something but I just said, "oh." and we went to go sit down.
the week of the dance, he asked my best friend, Sarah, out. She kept saying, "he barely even talks to me!" but he would only talk to her or hug her when I was around.
during the last class of the day, his best friend asked me again, "would you ever go out with sam?" and I said, "uhhhhhhh i dont know! why do you keep asking me that?!" and he was like, "Dunno..HE MIGHT LIKE YOU!" and I gave him a weird look and he said, "IM JOKING! IM JOKING!" but he didnt sound like it.
But, he broke up with sarah and started going out with taylor again and all he did was ignore me and he wasn't nice to me at all unless she wasn't anywhere close to us. I talked to jake and he said that sam answers when he calls but I've tried to call him many times over the summer but he never answers the phone.
So, I don't understand what he's doing! Does he like me or not?! (link)
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Okay, judging by your story, I think this is what happened-
Sam started to have feelings for you one day and consulted his freinds. Sams friends decided to try and help but it looks to me like they may have done more damage than help. You see, teenage boys are incredibly stupid when it comes to girls and have no idea how to express themselves properly, so they rely on their dumb friends to get tthe message across or just hope to God that you will figure it out yourself. Both are bad methods. This isn't the only place Sam screwed up. Sam was trying to make you jealous by asking out Sarah, seeing as he barely knew her and that he dumped her shortly after, probly because he saw that this wouldn't win you over any faster. Now Sam is obviously mad and maybe a little hurt that he couldn't get you, so he is ignoring you. It seems to me that Sam is being immature, I think you should be the bigger person and approach him. If you don't feel that way about him, you should let him know. It's not your fault, you can't help how you feel about guys. If you think you may like him, give him a chance. Go on a date and see how things go, but just let him know that no mtter how things turn out, your friendship is valuable to you and you don't want to jeopardize it. Trust me, a guy friend fell for me, I wasn't sure if I liked him, so I gave him a chance, and now he's my boyfriend. We've been happily together for almost five months.
I hope this was helpful to you.
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When I had my last boyfriend everything would always go so great and after about 6 months we were both inlove and I really loved this guy! But then about 3 months later we were laying in his backyard in the hammock his arm was around me and we were just relaxing then i decided to put my hand on his chest and give him a kiss so i did and he pushed me out of the hammock smacked me and told me don't touch me so i ran away crying...i didn't talk to him for a couple weeks but he kept calling so i answered
~Convo~
me-what do you want?
him-im sorry i love you
me-too bad
and i hung up
then when my dog passed away he came over with flowers my mom didn't want him to come up to my room because i was really upset but she finally let him, then he started kissing me and telling me he was truley sorry so i forgave him and for about 3 more month it was all good and back to normal then again one night we were watching a movie in his basement (his parents weren't home only his bro and his gf) and we were all watching a movie and he kissed me and we started kissing then i put my hand on his cheek a little bit and he pushed away and was like dont ever do that again and threw the movie case at me and his brother tried to stop him but he just went mad at started punching me and his brother while his girlfriend tried to do somethin --im not really sure what--
So my question is I still love him, I know I shouldn't but I really love him I mean we have been together for about 2 years but stuff like this keeps randomly happening! I thought this guy was really right for me and sometimes he treats me really nice but others he hurts me phsically and mentally...I just want a guy to treat me right thats why Im trying to forgive him again but I can't just forgive and forget I'm scared something like this will happen again PLEASE help! (link)
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I can totally understand if you still love this boy. You have a history with him and he must love you too. But the hard truth is that a guy should never EVER hit a girl, ever, not for any reason at all, especially not if a guy loves a girl. Your boyfriend seems very unstable and it sounds to me like me may need psychiatric help for these outbursts. I was getting a little scared just reading this post. You said this keeps randomly happening? That is definately not good. I would advise you confront him, not by yourself, he may attack you if you confront him by yourself. Maybe with his brother and someone else close to him, possibly his parents. Let him know that you love him and you're only scared and worried about him, that you're not cornering him or anything. You should tell him that if he really loves you, he would never, ever hurt you like he did. After you do this, if things still don't work out, get out of that relationship.
No boy is worth tall that.
I'm really big on the whole "guys don't EVER hit girls" thing. I really just think that's wrong. Best of luck to you, I hope everything works out oka for you and your guy.
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