KaylaHutchinson's advice column | KaylaHutchinson's Advice About Love Life

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Q: hey im 13 and i dont now what 69 means,

thanks ,
muriel

It's a sexual activity where the famale and male both perform oral sex at the same time.
The girl gets on top of the guy facing the opposite way and they both perform oral sex.

I hope this helps.

Q: Ok so i recently had sex with a jerk who i don't talk to anymore now i am still sort of interested in my very first love he goes to high school with me but is a freshmen because he failed but he has always been thier for me and did love me at one time i would like to have him back in my life but of course he has new girls and has moved on also so should i send him a myspace message because i don't have his cell anymore and tell him how i feel and see if we could rekindle what we had or should i not and just let it be

Well, in my opinion, I think you should.
If it were me, I would. Although it'd be VERY hard. But what's the worse that can happen? Rejection?
Just be confident and tell him exactly how you feel.

Hope I helped :)

-Kayla

Q: 18/f, i've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. he's always telling me how much he loves me and doesn't wanna lose me, and how beautiful i am, the whole nine yards. the problem is i have severe jealously issues, and almost ALL his friends are girls, and he is a flirt! he doesn't try to be, it's just his personality. he's not like a ladies man or anything, he only had two girlfriends before me [that only lasted like a couple months], they are just his friends, but i cant shake the issue. he is ALWAYS texting girls, and will like purposely turn the phone away from me so i cant see what theyre saying. it's not like im trying to be nosy, but that would make anyone wonder, even though he used to read my msgs when we first got together, although he says he "doesnt remember". even if he comments his girl friends, he'll say stuff like he loves their profile picture, and all his comments always have the little winky flirty face ;-). it really kills me inside, even though i know it shouldnt. i know people say "just remember he's with you and not them", and i know, but for anyone who has jealousy issues, you know it still hurts and you still wonder. he's never given me a reason not to trust him; he's the only guy i've ever dated who HASN'T cheated or used me, but i still wonder. i've talked to him about it several times, and when i do he either gets upset and says he would never hurt me, or gets defensive and says stuff like "fine i wont talk to any girls ever again!", which just upsets me more. he has every right to have girl friends and i dont want him not to, but just cant help the way i feel. i dont want to control him or know EVERY thing he's doing, but i just hate when i come across those things or he's texting his girl friends when im around and it feels like i get punched in the stomach. he was texting one last night and i kept making faces and he finally was like "do you just want me to turn my phone off?" and i was like yeah. i honestly dont think he'd ever cheat on me. ALL his friends and family know about me [if they dont actually know me] and he talks about me all the time, but sometimes i wonder if there'd be a girl who would know about me, but wouldnt care, and be trying to hang all over him and stuff. guys look at me and flirt with me quite often, but i dont have many guy friends that i regularly talk to, and i tell him EVERY THING guys say to me as far as trying to get with me and stuff, and i guess it just sux to know that he has ALL these girls for friends, and i dont really get told anything. how can i fix this? i hate that im so jealous. i always have been, and it's not always so bad, but sometimes, it really is, and i NEED to fix it. what should i do? i just cant shake it.

Wow,
it sounds like EXACTLY what me and MY boyfriend are going through. Except you trust yours and I don't. lol
But other than that, I know how you feel.
I think it's that we HATE the idea of him having another girl in his life, friend or not. And we want to be the only one, yet we don't want to come off as crazy psycho control freakish, correct?
As far as the texting girls when he's WITH you and being so secretive about it... That's a little bit, ehh.
Flirting may be in his blood or his personality, whatever, flirting is flirting. There's no excuse for it and if he's just like "Oh, that's just how I am. I flirt with everyone", tell him you don't like it. You don't have to be rude about it, just tell him exactly what you said in this message. Tell him you want him to have friends and it's okay if they're girls but there are boundaries and sometimes, he crosses the line just a little bit. If he really does care about your feelings and what bothers you, I'm sure he'll understand.
Just be calm about it.

And I'm the same way. I have few guy friends because I feel guilty for even talking to another guy and I know I probably shouldn't but hey, it's better than flirting it up with every guy I see.
He even tells me that I can have guy friends. I just kinda prefer not to.

You can't be hiding feelings from him, especially feelings like these. These are problems that need to be discussed within your relationship and tell him he needs to slow it down- the flirting and all.

You can't HELP that you're so jealous. It's not anything you're doing wrong. It's a matter of bottled up feelings and maybe just a LITTLE untrustworthiness. Tell him everything; how you've been feeling, EVERYTHING.
If he takes it the wrong way, make sure you include that you're NOT trying to control him. You just don't know how to deal with jealousy and him talking to all those girls certainly doesn't help.

I hope I helped you even the slightest bit.

Feel free to ask my further questions or update me on anything that goes on.
Good luck
-Kayla

Q: so me n my boyfrend have been dating for 8 months. i really love him n tell him. i have so much feelings for him but i can only seem to get them out in texts or notes i give to him. i can never say them in person cuz my mind goes blank n i cant figure out the words to say how i feel n how much he really means to me. how can i tell him this in person without gettin at a loss for words?

Well,
the problem is that you're shy. And you shouldn't be 8 months into the relationship.
But I know what you mean.
I used to just think it sounded weird coming from me because I'm dating my first love and I haven't had any real dating experience BEFORE him. You just need to clear your head. Stop worrying about sounding dumb or him thinking you're weird or whatever it is you're scared of.
If you can tell him how you feel to his face, you'll break the ice and become so much more comfortable to just say it all the time. Just say what you would in a note with your words.
I hope I helped
-Kayla

Q: Okay,first off i haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years,(15/f.blah.whatever)and it only lasted a month. I know people always say "love yourself before you can love someone else"- i do, and i have great friends and i'm really happy.I know i dont need a guy to be happy- Its just I reaaaally want to be in love! Its not helping that all of the sudden theres like romance everywhere,but me, all aloonnne!its like taunting me haha.I keep envisioning meeting "the guy of my dreams" at like the movies or the mall-because i heard if you do this you can attract it to happen-but none of it works!I can't be set up with people,no no no. I'm not ugly,i have a great personality. Its just the fact that its impossible for me to ever meet a guy anywhere! So i guess what i'm asking is- How can i meet guys at like the mall or something like that? And have you ever had a -love-at-first-sight thing happen to you? If you have,what happend? Thanks so much for the imput and advice!

You're absolutely right.
You DON'T need a guy to be happy.
Just because all your friends have boyfriends, doesn't mean you have to have one. Boyfriends can be great but you can't hunt for them.
Especially if you're looking for "the one".
They'll come to you, as cliche as that might sound.
It might be a little difficult to live without a boyfriend and you're INLOVE with the idea of being inlove.
But you're 15 years old!
I'm 17 and I just barely found someone I'm actually happy with.
I went the same amount of time without and boyfriend and all my friends would try and hook me up with their boyfriend's friends but I'd NEVER be interested.
I was in the same boat.
My current boyfriend was actually my bestfriend at one time and personally, that's the best kind of relationship to have. When you build a really strong friendship with a guy, you've seen sides of him that are the TRUE him and if it's fate, then it'll escalate to something more.
You may think "He's just my friend. I can't see him as anything more than that" and that may be true but try and be open-minded with the whole issue. Think about it.
You don't want to just go out with some random guy.
Go out with someone you KNOW. That's the best way to find love :)

Feel free to ask any further questions or update me on anything that goes on

Good luck

-Kayla

Q: Female/ 17

So last year I met this guy. He was in 2 of my classes and we got to be really close. We had a lot of fun together and flirted alot. He'd always work with me in class and we always talked and laughed together. I started to like him. But he had a girlfriend. He found ways to text me and talk to me. but he never knew how I felt.

Then When I hooked up with my ex. At the same time he broke up with his girlfriend. He was always interested in how my boyfriend was. and he would always ask questions about my really close guy friend. he was always wondering why we were so close. and he'd get weird when I would talk about other guys,

Then when this year rolled around and he's in my math class...we never talk , and he's gotten all weird. He just looks at me all the time, but he acts like we were never close.

I still have feelings for him. But I want to know why he's so weird now? and does he still have feelings?

HELP!

Hey!

My opinion on the matter is that he's shy because HE thinks you don't like HIM. As you said, you never said how you felt.
By the way you described it, it seems like he really liked you. If he didn't, he wouldn't be getting jealous when you talked to other guys.
You should gradually start talking to him again, as FRIENDS. Start over.
Then, as your friendship starts gradually being restored, maybe tell him that you like him as more than a friend.

Feel free to ask further questions or update me on how it goes :D

-Kayla

Q: dear Advicenators,

do you know how depressing it's going to be pretending like i ENJOY having a long distance relationship over valentine's day? i am so done with it.

some tips for meeting guys please?

thanks

The best way to look for a guy is to NOT look for one.
That sounds like it doesn't make sense but it does.
Don't TRY so hard to find one. They'll come to you. Believe me.
Go out and do something with your friends, something you enjoy doing.
Participate in a club, organization, etc. That's a great to meet a guy. And they'll most likely have the same interests as you, in participating in the same thing as you.
Remember not to try too hard and as cliche as it sounds, just be yourself!
:D

Feel free to ask any further questions.
-Kayla