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Commercial Property Conveyancing ParalegalAge:
27Member Since:
July 24, 2007Answers:
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I am a 27 year old female from Scotland. I have a lot of life experience and will do my best to answer any questions you have honestly.
advice
my boyfriend lives in El paso Texas...i live in washington we've been living in a long distance relationship for about 3 years now with alot of bumps..im 17. he doesnt want to get a job ever, hes addicted to playing a video game called diablo 2, sometimes i think i should just leave him find someone better, who can give me attention that i need. should i leave him? when i go home in september i fear that we'll break up because of all the bull that goes around in long distance alot of tears and heartache on my part. hes really sweet sometimes, and cares alot about me, i can honestly say im Still and always will be in love with this man. the games are too much. a little advice for a fool?
I think that you have already answered your own question. I am not saying that you don't love this guy however, it seems to me that you already know that there isn't really a viable future for you both especially if all he ever wants to do with his life is play computer games.
When you get home, go out with your friends and enjoy yourself. You will soon see what you are missing out on and will notice that although this guy can be sweet he has probably caused you a lot of heart ache which was unnecessary.
It is never a good reason to stay in any relationship just because you have been together for a long time.
It is never easy to end a relationship but is it really fair on either of you to continue in this manner if neither of you are getting what you need from the relationship?
I recently saw a question here....it kind of resembles mine. about online relationships. I'm a 15 year old girl and my best friend (who is also a girl) is 18. I don't know WHAT THE HELL is going on in her mind. She's always depressed, and upset. Over and over. So what does she do? She gets herself an online boyfriend. They start talking. Sending e-mails on and off. And listening to each other talk through MSN voice clips. (This has been going on for a year). Whenever I question her about the reason for this..she always tells me "how can you say that? I love him!" In my mind, I'm thinking (how do you love him? you don't even KNOW him!) That doesn't worry me so much though. Because we live in a different country than him. What DOES worry me...is that she has seen only 2 pictures of him! And the pictures that she has seen, were blurry, and of really bad quality. I'm trying to knock some frikkin' sense into her. She's sending him all of these pictures of herself because he, very nicely, asks for them (I've talked to him before, he's a total FAKE nutcase). I can't stop her. She has plans to move in with him. how can you move in with a stranger ...of whom you only saw...2 horrible-quality pictures of? Maybe that's not even him! And she still has so much trust for him. I tried to sit down and talk to her. She won't listen. What should I do? I don't want her to ruin her life! Could this be a wanting of attention? Is she desperate? :(
It seems to me that she is perhaps depressed and maybe this guy is giving her attention that she feels that she cannot get face to face. Maybe she has been hurt in the past.
I would suggest that you compliment her and encourage her to try new things and meet new people.
It is unfair to say that people cannot fall in love in this way however, it appears that this guy is indeed a fake and that you are right to be concerned.
From what you have said I would presume that her parents are unaware of the situation - I know that "telling" on a friend is not something any of us ever want to do however, if this guy is a fake then you could be saving her a lot of agony and hurt in the future so perhaps you should consider it.
There is absolutely no reason that this guy should only have sent her two very poor quality photos and received a lot more in return. You are right to be a worried by this. There are people out there who collect photos of young girls for very bad reasons and I am concerned that you friend is getting herself into hot water, particularly if she is sharing details such as where she lives with this guy. He may say that he is in another country however, how does she actually know that he is telling the truth.
Maybe she should call his bluff??? Tell him that she has spoken with her parents about him and that they would like to meet him and that way she will be able to tell from his reaction whether he is actually genuine or not.
I hope this helps.
okay, so i've been dating this guy named alex for about a month and a half now. as soon as he broke up with his girlfriend shannon, he got with me, so shannon told EVERYONE that he cheated on her, which wasn't even true.
when they broke up, his best friend mitch got close to shannon. so ever since the beginning of mine & alex's relationship mitch hasn't approved. he tells people that he wants to spit in my face & kick my ass. i know he wouldn't. but the fact alex won't tell him to stop bugs me.
i mean, i don't want him to choose me over his best friend. but it annoys me when they hang out because alex never talks about me i just feel like he's ashamed of me.
i've told alex how i feel and that he needs to tell mitch to stop being so mean to me, but he just won't. what else can i do?
thank you.
17.female!
Here is what I suggest............
You need to make Alex understand that being in a relationship means that you defend one anothers itegrity and honour now, Alex cannot make Mitch like you however, Alex should tell Mitch that, as his best friend, he should be able to be happy for him even if he doesn't entirly agree.
Also Alex should tell Mitch that he is entitled to his own opinion (given time, when Mitch sees that you and Alex are serious about one another his opinion will probably change) however, Alex should stress to him in no uncertain terms that when he and Mitch are together that if he has nothing nice to say about you that he should say nothing at all. This way, Mitch gets the idea that Alex doesn't like him bad mouthing you and Alex does not need to choose between you and his best friend which would be an unfair position for anyone to be in.
I hope this helped.
Aww thanks so much !
Well i like this boy right and he likes me too and he tells me his gonna ask me out just not at the moment he said this like last week and he still hasn't asked me out do you know if he his or isnt he ? Thanks so much
Ok, here goes, this guy does like you although I feel that he is receiving a bit of pressure from some of his peers to start dating etc but he is not quite ready - there seems to be one guy in particular who teases him a lot - this guy is an idiot and should be avoided - he is a bit unstable and will get a lot of people into trouble.
I get the feeling that you think this guy likes one of your friends???? I don't think so although he does enjoy her company. He thinks she is funny and that is about it so start being a little nicer to her (which is your true nature).
Anyway, I do think that he will ask you out although I don't see this being for around another 4 months or so. He needs to see that you are a real friend first if that makes any sence. I know that 4 months will seem like forever to you but what you need to realise that this time will lay the foundation of a happy relationship. Just try to chill out a bit and trust that it will happen when the time is right and he is ready.
I hope this has been of help and I would really appreciate some feedback on what I have said as this will help me.
Take care!
ok so...i am completely out of ideas and frankly done trying to figure out my problem. There was a guy i dated about a year ago. We dated for a while and i really truly cared about him. We broke up after a huge misunderstanding. He was dating someone else like 2 weeks later. But we never stopped talking. He kept calling and telling me he still cared about me...We have been hanging out alot lately and he talks about us dating again but we still havent gotten back together. Any ideas on how i can move it along...or tell if he is even actually sincere about wanting to get back together?? Thanks so much!
If this guy is still dating this other girl and seeing you at the same time, it appears that he may just be stringing you along - perhaps in the hope of "having his cake and eating it".
You need to be direct with him and tell him that if he truly wants the both of you to start dating again then he has to let this other girl down gently and immeidately! If he tries to squirm his way out of it - run for the hills. He is playing you.
If he dumps this other girl I would advise you to take things slowly at first.
And just so you know - a woman's intuition is always right - you just need to learn how to listen to it.
Hope this helped.
I want to know if i'm a mean girlfriend. Some people tell me I am. But my boyfriend says im not. The other people tell me im mean because I hit my boyfriend all the time. But im only playing around when I do it. Sometimes I will call him a bitch and other names like gay. But like I said im only playing around. I really want to know if Im mean. Because I don't want to lose him. So am I a mean girlfriend?
Without seeing you two together it is kind of hard to say however, I am pretty certain that if the roles were reversed and he hit you and called you names all the time you would get pretty sick of it.
If you hit him in a playful way (without actually hurting him - this is often done as a way of showing affection) then he may not see this as a problem however if, when you hit him you do hurt him then it is safe to say that he will get fed up.
I suggest that you try to find other ways of showing your affection and let's be honest, the only way to find out if it bothers him is to ask him! That way when people see fit to pass judgement on your relationship you can tell them where to get off if he really isn't bothered by it.
Hi, I am a 22 year old Canadian pre-op FTM transman and I am confused about my feelings for a friend of mine.
This friend and I have been close for a long time and I find myself feeling romantically attracted to her and mostly physically attracted to her accept for one thing. I will explain my dilemma now.
She is also a transexual only she is a pre-op MTF(male to female) which means she hasn't had bottom surgery yet, making her penis a vagina. I consider myself a straight male in a female body and therefore am not attracted to penis'. She knows this and is ok with it, but I find myself unsure of what to do.
I am attracted to her emotionally, but not so much physically because of that.
We slept together once and it was ok. I was nervous so it didn't go as well as it could, but then I said that maybe we should hold off because I realized I wasn't into BDSM like she was, but I have that issue figured out. She is fine with that. We communicate everything before hand.
I don't want to keep changing my mind because I feel like I am using her, even though she keeps telling me I wouldn't be. I don't want to keep changing my mind, but I am unsure of how to persu my feelings.
Should I leave it at friendship? or should I keep trying more on an expiremental basis until we both know what we want? what I want?
I don't know.
Advice would be great!
Thank you.
-Nathan
My, my this is quite a predicament.
I think that perhaps you should share the fact that you find her penis a little bit of a problem.
I am assuming that as you are using the term pre-op for both of you that you will both be having realignment surgery at some point in the future.
I understand that it must be difficult for both of you to resist the temptation of having sex as you are both obviously very attracted to one another emotionally and are sharing this experience however, I would suggest that you both try to hold off on having sex until both of you have had surgery and can re-evaluate how you feel. It may be that you have already found your soulmate however, there is a small chance that you havn't and all this to-ing and fro-ing on whether or not to have sexual relations with one another could end up with both of you losing a very very very good and dear friend.
I hope this helped.
Take Care!
ok,they say the best advisors before going on a date are girls so i was wondering what to do on this particular date.First off,I need some tips on my appearance.I'm not saying i should transform or anything,but do you girls have any tips on how to give a better image.anyway,i'm 17,hawaiian/asian and here's the link
http://www.friendster.com/user.php?statpos=bc&uid=47042234
the pic with my black hair is the latest,so yeah...i'm free to any suggestions,either cutting my hair or other stuff.
p.s:I know every liking is individual so i'm not asking for a perfect image,just makeover tips for this date.thanks
I really like the photo with your hair long and striaghtened although, a shorter hair style may suit you. Other than that, make sure you have a nice long shower before hand (this will relax you) and smelling good is essential. Every woman loves a man that smells good. (Unless the male influences in your life have very good taste I wouldn't suggest borrowing their aftershave....lol).
Oh, and before I forget a nice pair of clean shoes - it is one of the first things that most women notice.
Apart from all that - just remember to be yourself - that's really the most important thing.
Good luck and have fun!
I love this boy we'll call him "L". Well I dated him off and on for a year. He meant a whole lot to me and still does. I'm 15, I'll be 16 soon, and he's 16, 17 soon. I've known L for over 2 years and we've always had a "thing" for each other. After we seriously broke up from our year relationship, I was devastated. We needed it though, and while I was away from him I gained a lot of self confidence. It seems like he did the opposite. He's started to go down hill. We didn't talk for 4 months, and we have just recently started talking again. I miss him so much, and I want to help him get his stuff back together. More than anything, I want him to pull himself back together, and I want to help because I want him to know I'm here for him. I can't tell him this cause I'm scared he'll be scared away. Lately, I've also had the urge to have sex with him. I don't know why cause I haven't done anything with him since we broke up, and I'm a virgin and so is he. I've always thought he would be my first, because he is the first guy I've ever felt this connection with. I know all the pros and cons, I've evaluated it thoroughly and I know it's probably more of a bad idea, but I can't help but want it. He seems kind of interested in me, because he'll call me first and come see me when I want him to. I just don't really know what to do. Please help mee!! Thank you!
First of all let me say that the advice below is excellent!
I think the most important thing for 'L' is to be his friend. Praise him for the good things he does and encourage him to try new things/meet new people.
Tell him that we learn by our mistakes and should never regret anything as every mistake/failure/success makes us the individuals we are.
Moving on to the urge that you have to have sex with him. It may be that as you have previously been in a realtionship with him that you feel it would be "safe" to enter into a physical relationship with him.
Unfortunately, going down this route could in fact be very wrong for both of you. It may exaccerbate his self confidence issues and/or leave you feeling used if he does become more confident and decide that he wants a relationship with someone else.
When the time is right you will meet the person to lose your virginity to. This is not a decision to be taken lightly (as I think you are already aware). You should wait until you are in a longterm, secure and happy relationship with someone who is ready to take this step with you.
From my experience, girls who have rushed in because of their urges now regret it. I waited until I was in a loving relationship (which on reflection ended around nine months later) however, I do not regret it.
Take your time and be 100% sure before you take this next step.
Hey dudes and dudettes ,
Okay well this is a follow up question to the one before which was :
Heyy Dudes & Dudettes ,
Okay , Well see theres this guy he's my ex and I still really like him.. and I just started to talk to him not to long ago .. and like he's always liked me but I don't know if he still does.. so I decided to be like hey im going to invite him to go to the movies and stuff so I called him and stuff and he calls me back and says sure :) and stuff like that .. is there any possibilty that maybe in the future he would go back out with me?
Thank you.
Betty.
and you guys wrote back that he might and stuff well I still likes him but not until now because I found out he HAS a gf and he didnt tell me.. should I just move on or no?
Thank, Betty.
Hi Betty
When you first break up with someone you remember all the bad things that they did but in time you start to get over it. That's when you start to remember all the good times and wish that you could get back together.
I think that it is safe to say that in this respect both of you have moved on however, as this guy has a new girlfriend I would probably just stay friends with the guy and have fun getting to know new people.
Unfortuntely, in life, going backwards is not usually a good thing. Sometimes getting back with an ex will work but more often than not, you can't recreate the good times and the bad times are too often thrown back in one anothers face.
I think it would be best to appreciate this guy for what he is, or what he will be and that is an excellent, life long friend.
Hope this helped.
Indigo
Okay, for all my life I have been hiding the fact that I am gay. For some reason I like men, But I don't want to I don't even admit this. But this has to stop right away. I don't want to be gay I want to be straight PLZ PLZ Tell me a way this can be cured I want to be straight Not gay*
I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your sexuality.
Many people deal with feelings like these when they are growing up however it does not necessarily mean that you are gay. You really need to seek out some advice from an organisation in your area who can help you understand the feelings that you have. They will be able to offer you lots of advice and support.
I must stress to you however, that if you are in fact gay, it has no bearing on you as a person other than this is your sexuality.
You, like every other individual on this planet has right to be who they are and of course to be wonderful with it.
okay so i meet quite a few guys regularly with one of my groups of friends...but theres my friend from my other group who i LOVE shes exactly like me and im super close to her who i always end up introuducing to them...but what she does is ends up becoming closer than me with them, then for some reason they go from likeing me as more then friends, to her. But the thing that i dont understand is im defniatly better looking then her (im not being cocky, but its true) and i cant figure out why. i know its not the personality cuase were both confident and have very similar personalitys. The only thing i can think of is that i have braces and she doesnt...but they arnt noticeable like at all...also im more crazy and daring then her....can someone pleasee help me i cant figure out why this is happening and it always hurts me cuase i like the guys before they switch to her...and shes never had a boyfriend and doesnt intend to. sorry its so long. thanks in advance
Maybe the crazy and daring thing makes them see you as a "friend" more as it may portray you to be a bit of a tomboy. No offence!
Perhaps you should just learn to relax in their company and not try to impress them by being too crazy - guys sometimes find that a bit scary.
I know you say that you love this friend dearly however, even though she does not intend to have a boyfriend as such, it may be possible that she is a little jealous of the attention you receive in the first instance from these boys.
I really think the main focus for both you and your friend should be on having fun. There is no point in falling in love/liking these guys so readily just because you receive a lot of attention from them - my Mum's old saying comes to mind - "play with fire and you will get burnt". The right guy is out there for you and when you do meet him he will only have eyes for you.