Hello There;
This is a colunm for anyone with questions on relationship problems, question about their sexuality, questions about their spirituality, advice on talking to parents, and about whether they should, being made homeless by parents, unexpected pregnancies, depression and suicidal thoughts.
I have been, or have had someone very close to me in each of those situations, and can answer questions, provide useful information, and just be there, as a virtual shoulder to cry on!!
Ask away!!
Charming Ashlie xx
E-mail: browneyedwiccan@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Bath, Uk
Occupation: Unemployed
Age: 20
MSN: browneyedwiccan@hotmail.com
Member Since: May 23, 2007
Answers: 50
Last Update: June 3, 2007
Visitors: 4330
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ok, let's say there's a girl at your school, and *everyone* knows that her boyfriend is cheating on her, but she doesn't seem to realize it. do you feel sorry for her, or do you just think she's stupid for not seeing it? and then... when she does find out, she forgives her bf and gives him a 2nd chance. do you think she's a nice, forgiving person who loves her bf, or do you think she's a complete idiot for letting him play her like that? just wondering, becuz that girl is me and i wonder what people might be saying/thinking about me!
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i dont think you should have given him the chance; you now have an issue about what others think of you!! which you seem more bothered about than his betrayal.
dump him.
or make him pay...
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this is crazy i knw..... i met this guy who considered me one of his best friends. we hung out all the time and did everything couples do together with out the kissing/makingout/sex part. we held hands hugged at one point walked with his shoulder around me and stuff.......
i thought he was gay so i never really considered that there would be anything there...
later though about 7 or 8 months after we met and right be4 we went our separate since he graduated (he's 22 i am 20).... i told him the truth about how in that past month i was a bit infatuated by him..... very very to say the least...... at somepoint i had doubts about him being bi... because his signs of flirting are always direct with both men and women.... and i figured since we're always together and he hasnt sed anything then maybe he was just gay.... anyway .... wen i told him i told him rite after that i hope this dsnt change or alter our friendship he said he was completly fine with and we even went out that night...
a month later:
i still like him a bit since he was honestly the funnest guy i'd been with.... plus he always makes me feel assured about myself....... but its summer and i am abroad and i met this other guy very very formally... and there may be sparks in the middle... i am still not sure i'm going to have to get to knw him.....he's cute and all but the problem is that i still keep thinking about the other guy since i feel its not over yet and since he has been IMing me constantly asking about this new guy.... he sounds pissed and he always says he'd "save " me and misses me and that he wants to elope with me and things..... i miss him too but i don't know what he's trying to get to....
i never asked hiim about his sexuality and i think its stupid to do so now.... what do i do?!
i just need ppls opinions on this situation... (link)
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ignore the sexuality thing; does he like you? just ask him that!!
charming girl
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okay so i have this best friend. hes a guy, and were like REALLY tight. i have a weird feeling that he likes me. once, he called me 13 times because he was "bored". we were online and hes like "im bored, im gonna call u" and i said "no im doing hw" but he called anyway and left all these funny messages. then, i texted him at like 2 am cause i was bored, and he says "whats up?" and i said "bored, im under-the-covers texting!' and he said 'ooooooh. sounds seexy." i laughed about it, but it was just really sudden to me. he even asked me to come to his house and swim, but i wasnt free. but does he like me?? (link)
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i think the overwhelming answer is that he does like you; your friends dont say you under the covers sounds "sexy" do they? i think he does like you. try hanging out in person more, and the answer will become more obvious to you!
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okay well really what i'm trying to say is that i still like my ex boyfriend alot and i heard he still "kinda" likes me. and i want to "get him jealous" if thats what you want to call it. really what i'm asking is how can i make myself look like "breath taking" if you will. or " eye catching".
i'll give you the low down. i'm a 13 year old girl. im about 5'3ish with short brown hair. its about sholder length. brown eyes, and i'm pretty skinny, about average. how should i do my hair, what color make up annd what not? i can pretty much do anything with my hair. i usually straighten it. sometimes i scrunch it. and what color eye shadow if any? what kind of shirt? low cut, full tshirt? quarter sleeved/low cut? i have mostly cloths from hollister and some from abrecrombie and american eagle, so. i just really want to catch his attention and make him pretty much jealous of anyone siiting near me if thats possible. sorry this is so long. tahnks in advnace! (link)
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dress how you want to dress; what makes you feel good about yourself? what style clothes get you noticed? you dont have to wear make up- use mascara and black eyeliner alone, and it makes you look like you on a good day!
completely ignore him; flirt with guys around you, laugh loudly, be friendly with everyone, including the girls; then wait for him to come to you.
dont go to him, or acknowledge him!! make him chase you!
charming ashlie
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okay so ijust broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago cause he cheated on me.
so tonight i decide to go out on a date with another guy. Turns out hes really nice and sweet, but im not going to rush into a relationship. But if
i do decide to go for this boy theres a problem hes 15 and im 13 and hes black and im white.
my mom woulldddd flip see i dont care about the whole white black relationship im not rasict and my mom isnt either she just has always said she didnt want me to date black guys idk why so what do i do
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your only 13, so dont rush into it; enjoy being single and dating for a while, and i dont mind this to sound bad but i think your mum is a rascist.
its only 2 years age gap, and a different skin colour. take it slowly; and be careful who you place your trust in!
charming ashlie
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I'll try to make this as short as possible, I already wrote it once but my cat went under the computer and stepped on the power switch. So I have to start over.
Me: 9th grade next year/HS
Jon: 8th grade next year/MS
My mom hardly lets me go anywhere with my friends, and when I do someones parent has to be there. She also hates the people I hang out with. They're punk/rockers and she thinks they're strange. She told me I couldn't hang out with them before which pissed me off, because they're my friends.
My friend Shelly, who is in 7th grade this year has a friend named Jon. I met him when I went to the mall with Shelly, Hannah, Jeremy, and Crishelle. (My mom thought that it was just me and Shelly. It was on the last day of school, after school.)
Michelle didn't tell me but we met up with other people too. Jon, Cody, Dominic and Scott.
Michelle intorduced us since he was in seventh grade and I had never talked to him before. I knew the other people who were in 7th grade because they're in my chorus class.
Me and Jon ended up hanging out by ourselves for an hour because everyone wanted to go somewhere different. We just wanted to walk around. So we did, and we talked and flirted and everything. Then we went to meet up with the rest of the group to eat.
When it was time to go, Jon hugged me goodbye and said "See you around" We had to go meet my mom because she didn't know who we were with, and if she did find out she wouldn't like it.
What I want to know is how can I see him again. It was the last day of school. I don't want his/my friends arranging it so we go to the mall the at same time, because he'll find out. They can't keep secrets worth a shit. The only people who I trust are Hannah and Shelly and they don't believe I like him. I told then but they laughed it off because he's not the type I usually date.
How can I see him again without making it too obvious that I or someone else arranged it?
How can I arrange it? Or how can I convince someone else to while sounding casual. (Like hey, why dont we invite Jon) but sounding like I don't really want him there that badly. Which I do.
I still don't know him that well, and I won't get to know him unless we can hang out over the summer.
How can I keep in ouch with him over the summer when I won't see him at all.
The only thing I know for sure is that we have some fo the same friends. What should I do?
Thanks to anyone who answers. I really need help.
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say to your friends who arranged it that you had such fun, and say how boring summer is going to be if your each on your own; talk about ways you can make summer fun, then bring up the idea of all of you guys hanging out again, like going to the mall again, or going to the cinema etc etc.
hope you have a fun summer
charming ashlie
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okay so me and my friend bth like guys that are in the same group.and today at brunch we actually both talked to them at the same time. so we hang out at the same spot at lunch which is in a classroom. but the teacher told me and my friend that only me and her could be in there. so we couldnt let anyone else in :( (meaning the guys) so they came up to the door and were joking around a bit like normal guys do(kicking the door, yelling etc...) but after awhile it looked like it was starting to become serious they looked really mad and all and called my friend a bitch. i dont know what to do at this point. doicall him and try to talk or let him bloww off some steam???pleeze answer soon since whatever the choice is i have to do tonight!!!!thanx (link)
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ummmm...hello? he called you a bitch, and was yelling and going psycho; what if you got in a relationship with this guy and said you couldnt have sex until the legal age; he would react like that or worse wouldnt he??!! so dont bother with a boy like that; hot heads are not worth it!! trust me, i am 20 and have been with a guy like that, and although i am lucky he didnt physically harm me, he did harm me seriously emotionally; which will screw up all the relationships afterwards, because trust me it will end badly with a guy like that!!
charming ashlie
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When a guy puts his arm over your shoulder when ur walking, what do i do with my hands? should i put my arm around his waist or is that wierd? (link)
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the only comfortable thing you can do is either put you hand in his back pocket, if he has one, but then that looks like your touching up, or put your arm round his waist, its not weird trust me!!
charming ashlie
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why do some girls like giving head?
me and my boyfriend we're wondering. (link)
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because they enjoy the power; to seduce a bloke completely, and his pleasure be completely dependent on you; and possibly his pain, is a very sexy thing to some people.
charming ashlie
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Hey sam,
I have recently turned sixteen and I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend (we have now been together for over 19 months). We are both sixteen.
Thing is, whenever he comes round to my house, he is not allowed in my room, so we don't get that much privacy. It wouldn't be so much of an issue but whenever I go round his house, we never get privacy either as he has two brothers and a sister!
I want to ask my mum and dad if he is allowed to go in my room now, as we are both sixteen and been together for ages, but they're wuite strict with this sort of thing so I'm scared. We don't want to have sex or anything in my room, because I'm not ready for that and he is happy to wait until I am. We just want some privacy!
Also, I want to ask them if I can go on the pill to make my periods easier to deal with and so I am on contraception when we do have sex. Again, I am scared to ask them about this, and I don't want to go behind their backs because I repsect their opinion.
What can I do? Help!
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Its best to talk to whichever parent you are closest to; pref your mum because she has been in the situation you are in. assure your mum you are not looking to have sex; that you want to go on the pill for your periods; which she probably already knows are painful, probably heard in you in pain. then ask if your boyfriend is allowed into your room, assure that you will have the door partially open if that reassures her. after a while, they get used to it. and you will get more privacy!!and respect!
good luck
charming ashlie
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how do you know when a guy likes you because ive recently started talking to this guy and we flirt and shit and he was asking me sexual questions and we were going back and forth than he asked me who i like and i wouldnt tell him than i asked him and he said nobody and he was asking me what grades this kids in and shit and then he said that he would tell me who he liked if i dont him but then he talks about fucking other gurls and stuff and i dont know if he veiws me as just a friend or as something more its like he likes one minute and than the next hes treating me like a friend should i play him at his own game or what (link)
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a guy likes you when he shows you respect. this boy isnt showing you respect he is too immature.
charming ashlie
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Ok...it's like this: I'm dating a guy, now I want to get him all horny. How should I do this best? I'm 15 btw and he is 22. He made the first move on getting to know each other ^~^
I really want to seduce him. So...any advice? X3 (link)
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firstly its illegal to be having sex at your age; i know thats not what you want to hear, but you just have to think carefully of what you are getting into!
thats the same age gap between myself and my current boyfriend, but i am 20, so it doesnt seem as big.
at 22 you have experienced many more things since you were 15, and you have to think carefully about why a 22 year old is interested in a 15 year old.
the best thing that can drive a guy crazy is making them wait; that way you have time to think, and if you do decide to go for it, it will be like his ultimate fantasy come true.
talk to him some more about the relationship you two have; do people know about you? if people dont then its a fair bet you might get used!
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I would prefer a guy's opinion on this one, but a girl's opinion works also!
Well, this guy and I have been liking each other off and on for the past 2 years. We have been a little more serious recently.. but aren't going out. He would rather be friends with benefits.. we don't have sex or anything, though. I don't necessarily want a relationship with him really badly because i also like the friends thing, but he doesn't think i'm the girlfriend type and I just want to prove to him that I am so he might re-consider a relationship. What are some good ways to make him see that I am girlfriend material, or to make him like me even more?
Thanks! (link)
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the only way to prove you are the girlfriend type can be solved in two ways;
1. stop acting like his girlfriend without the title or privelages
2. ask him what he thinks makes you not girlfriend material
hope this helps you
charming ashlie
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okay so this boy i like his name is j and i am totally head over heals for him i love him so much and he acts like he likes me to he always flirts with me and always hugging me and he always wants to hang out with me.but you see hes a total player so i don't know if he likes me or is just being you know player-e but the problem is one min. he acts like he loves me and then the next he's talking about his ex./my best friend Emily so it hurts me cuz i get my hopes up like o my god he likes me and then hes like "dose Emily talk about me any more??" and his current girl friend hes going out with only because shes go 38C's and Emily has almost D's so i think he only likes her because she's got huge boobs but I'm not sher? and i don't know whether to forget about him and find a new guy to like or to sit tight and hope one day he gets over his big boob fetish cuz i only got 36B's so i know he don't like me for them. but it extremely complicated and I'm trying to do the best i can to enplane it but I'm so confused about it myself. so can some one pleas help me decide what to do.
thanks in advance and i am sooo sorry to have written a book but i need help and I'm so confused (link)
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Unfortunately some guys are idiots. Its a really sad fact, one that we shouldnt have to live with, but we do put up with it, dont we?!
Forget this guy, i know you dont want to, and your still lost in the false hope, and the spending time with him because his behaviour is confusing.
You have to break it down into facts;
You know he is a player
You know he has a current girlfriend
You know he still likes your friend
You know he is into big boobs, and you know you havent got them
You have nothing to offer except for your lovely personality, probably attractive look, but he is too imatture to see that.
It wont work; and its making you confused and unhappy; so forget him.
Stop spending as much time with him, and start spending time with guys that are nice, available, and most importantly; think your a hot momma!!
Charming Ashlie xx
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how do i make clear to friend who is on the other side of the planet that i fell in love with someone else and that i am no longer interested in him? he has changed the way he acts with me ever since i told him how i felt towards him..... i got over him and now i am engaged. but he doesn't know that yet... and i don't know what kind of opportunity i should look for to tell him... (link)
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hmmmm.... well, if he is on the other side of the planet then its easy to avoid him; but if you want to salvage some kind of friendship from this, then you might start of subtly mentioning the name of your partner; like when you tell this person in your emails or whatever what you have done that day, then start saying what you have done with your fiancee.
the real question in your mind at the moment, should be, what stopped you from telling them before?
i hope this helps.
When they ask who the person is, you might just have to be honest with them...
Charmings Ashlie xx
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im an outgoing, crazy, funny girl....i always help people and show love and care......
over all, people like my personality and like me for it....
i give great advice to people...
except i cant use it on myself....
i really like this guy and the normal outgoing me wouldj ust call someone up and be like HEY WHATS UP!? and talk or whatever but, as an example...lets say you were calling up a celebrity...your favorit one...you would be more concious of what youre saying and more nervous and stuff right
the thing is...i know this kid will love the real me and the outgoing, crazy, "HEY WHATS UP LOSERRR!? WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY!?" self...but i just cant find the guts to call him or talk to him......
i like him and he likes me but i think he gets upset that i dont call him that much then in person i can be all awesome and great...
im not a big phone person....ive always been scared of awkward silences and that im too boring......
i WANNA call him a lot and show him im thinking about him and i care about him but im always nervous hes with friends and ill be tongue twisted in what to say or how to end it if hes with friends or what to talk about ...idk...im a mess
but the funny thing is...i know if i called him and just was myself and how i am with my friends and stuff, hed love it and itd make him feel great that i called and i wanna talk to him and im thinking about him adn stuff.......
i just dont know whats wrong with me....im so nervous and self concious and i have NO gutss what so ever
i just dont know what to do....i feel not worthy or good enough for him....
inside, im that girl that hed love more than anything....i just cant bring it out.......
HELP!
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This may sound strange; but why do you have to call him? why dont you email him instead? if your nervous you can spend as long as you want re-writting. Why not sms him? again, you can spend ages re-writting!!
Why does he not call you?
These questions arent to confuse, but to give you some perspective; its not going to be the be all, and end all of a relationship if you are too nervous at this stage in the game to call him.
You need to encourage more time in person with him; maybe if you are calling with the specific idea of inviting him over, or arranging a trip into town with mutual friends (at first) then you wont be so tongue tied?
time spent in person is a lot better than awkward phone calls...
I hope you get your guy
Charming Ashlie xx
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