Q: Okay 25/F here with major realtionship issues. Recently me and my boyfriend of 7 years decided to have a separation, well more like I decided. So he moved out (we own a house together) and I have now been living alone for 3 weeks. The plan was for him to go get help and for me to sort out my feelings and then he would move back in after a month and then we could see how things went from there. So why did we separate? He is very controlling and jealous, he was constantly calling me names and accusing me of cheating, so basically calling me a whore. He say's he doesn't really think I cheat but he just gets mad and that he's jealous of my job, because they get more attention then I do. I am never allowed to go anywhere and have alienated every friend beacuse he thinks that you should not go out unless your significant other is with you. So there's no "girls night" for me. If I even go to the store he clocks me and gets pissed about how long I take. The longer we're together the less I cuddle, kiss or do anything with him at all. The only time I am intimate with him, I am being forced by him complaining and some sense of duty for the relationship. Basically it's aweful and his touch disgusts me now. Despite all his faults he loves me very much perhaps too much and he has always been there for me when I had tough things to deal with. He wants to marry me and have kids but I am not ready for that, I care about him but for some reason I can't seem to marry him. On top of it all I have formed this infatuation for a co-worker and my BF senses their is something between me and this other guy, if he even new about flirting then he would seriously go down there and beat him to a pulp. So our month break thing is almost up, and I still don't know what I want, he has been going to a Psychologist and he recognizes his problems and I appreciate his effort but I can't seem to make myself "feel" and he says that I just don't care, but I do I just can't explain what it is I feel. If I leave him he will serisouly snap, he already threatened to kill himself when I asked for the separation. I don't know what to do, if he really did change will my feelings all come back or did I fall out of love with him and is it too late? Or am I so focused on this other guy that I am not appreciating what I already have. I feel so lost right now. :(

Q: My bf has a real mean streak in him when it comes to gay people. Well he told me one day that every time Queer Eye For The Straight Guy came on tv he felt like throwing his boot threw the screen. He also said he wanted to hurt Boy George every time one of his songs came on the radio; and when I told him I liked Will and Grace he gave me the dirtiest look. He doesnt just put down gays either he also makes derogatory remarks about women; that we are inferior to men and that they are smarter. It's also the WAY he says these things too; with so much hate in his voice. This one time I jokingly said women were smarter then men and he yelled "prove it"! And then he pulled out a chain linked puzzle. He said if I was so smart I could figure it out under a minute. I couldnt and he yelled "SEE"! Should I break up with him?

Q: okay so my boyfriend does dip and i really hate it..ive told him this before and his last girlfriend even broke up with him because of it..you guys are probally gonna say if he loved you enough he would stop and you should end things but i really really like him and i dont want us to break up..how can i help him quit..or atleast convice him too?

Q: My bf is the owner and chef of a small cafe in town. I've been hearing stories from two of the waitresses that work for him that he is a complete jerk to work for. One of them told me that once he threw something and yelled "how many times do I have to show you"! He will scream and holler at them in front of all the customers if they screw up an order when it's busy. One time I went in to talk to one of the waitresses and he yelled "no talking while your working"! I was so embarrassed for her that I left. I heard he also said once "I would fire you if I wasnt' friends with you" to another worker. My concern is if he has this much anger at his work that he could turn it on me. Should I get out?

Q: I'm a 28/f.I used to always tell my ex that I never wanted to go back to school. This is mainly due to low self esteem as a direct cause from his abusive behavior. I do have a job just not a high paying one. Well we broke up about 6 months ago because he was being a complete jerk. This last couple of months I've been working on my self esteem and I'm even going back to school to be a personal trainer! I have not seen or talked to my ex in all this time. Well recently one of my ex's friends paid me a visit. He was asking all sorts of questions like how the job was going. I told him entuisiastically I was going to school to be a personal trainer and he got this shocked; almost worried look on his face. I have no idea why- but I wouldnt be suprised if my ex is getting him to get info on me. What do you guys think? And why would he look worried?

Q: I'm dating this guy in college who seems to always be busy which I understand of course... we've been dating for over a month now and we usually go out once every week since well he's in college and i'm not. I feel like he's emotionally callous when it comes to online conversations or better yet conversations in person. He just doesn't seem to understand how I feel... for instance today was the last day that we were going to hang out before christmas break since he's going back to his home town... I texted him to ask him to come over and he gave me these excuses of him having a headache and feeling like shit and that he had to do this scholarship thing... I was very angry and sad and I just texted him saying, "it's okay i'll understand if you can't come over just as long as you get better." He said, "sorry" but I mean he really gets me angry a lot... it's like he doesn't understand me and seems to be more disattached to this thing that we have. We're not official but even so we have been dating for this long and he should at least know how to be a good guy... So anyway, here I am really sad and angry and he's online giving me all these political articles like him not coming over is not a big deal at all... it's really getting me worked up and wondering whether or not I should even waste my time on someone like him... I know he's not cheating on me just cause he's honest and is not like that... but I mean come on we planned today's date 2 weeks ago and talked about it yesterday... I just don't know what I should do...

Q: I did something a couple of months ago that at the time I thought I did the right thing but now I'm regretting it. Well basically what happened is the man I was in love with who I thought loved me back dumped me very cruelly. I told him that I wouldn't have an affair; or get invovled sexually with him as long as he was married. Instead of respecting my decision he told me he wanted nothing to do with me. The reason I thought he did want to be with me is because he kept asking me if I wanted children and that I'd be a great mom and he had never had kids. I also knew he was really unhappy with his wife. I thought he loved me and he obviously was leading me on and just telling me what I wanted to hear so eventually I would sleep with him. I guess I just need someone to tell me that I did the right thing because I've been feeling so down about this.

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