My names Zoe, Zozie is sort of an unofficial nicname, and the aunty...well, why not?
I´m 14 years old and have been living in manchester england, my entire life - obviously not counting the eeeeeeendlness trips to wales!
Saying i´m 14 may make some people think that i don´t know enough to be doing an advice column. My responce would be to that, if your close minded about who your taking advice from - then i suggest you don´t take any at all! I´ve always stood by the belief that a persons mind gives away their real age more, than a birth certificate and some hospital documents.
I´ve not exactly been through hell, fire and brimstone, but i´ve seen other people go through it, and witnessed how it affected them. And besides, i like giving advice,i like knowing that my words could possibly influence and positively help someone else. And that is why i´m doing this advice column.
God i sound like Martin Luther King.
Member Since: April 9, 2005
Answers: 35
Last Update: April 20, 2005
Visitors: 3787
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i really liked this guy, and i told him and we hooked up twice, the first time just kissing and the next time he was really pressuring me and calling me a tease so i gave him head, it was really hard for me coz at the time i was still getting over my ex. i spoke to him on the net and i said 'im sorry i was so weird last night its just hard coz of J' and he said yeah i dont want a relationship and im like neither do i! Before we hooked up we were like best friends and he had liked me for ages and now we have just stopped talking to each other because of this and its weird coz i still like him and i only want a casual thing but he wont hardly talk to me!!! not even to be friends and i have no idea why..? im finding it hard to beleive i got used coz hes one of the nicest guys ive ever met does anyone have any suggestions? sorry its so long (link)
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Its not long don't worry. Firstly, you shouldn't have given this guy head in that situation, because he pressured you, in a way showing that in that situation, he was only after one thing; sex. I know it sounds horrible to hear because you say you were friends, but it was really unfair and disrespectful to put you in that situation, being a "casual" thing or not.
Advice wise though, i'd say do your best to still say on comfortable terms with this guy, as you said he was a nice guy. And i suppose, if you don't go down that road again, you still could stay friends, although maybe not as close. I really hope my advice is useful and good luck with this guy and getting over J, whoever he may be! xxx
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My ex & I have become sort of friends now. In a recent conversation he got very hurtful. He told me about his new girlfriend & how much he 'loves' her. I didn't want to seem jealous/hurt so I went along with everything like it was fine. He told me he hasn't thought about me at all since we broke up. Then when I said something about another guy, he said he didn't care. Does this mean something? If he doesn't have feelings for me anymore, would he actually say all this to me? I still have strong feelings for him. (link)
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Hmm. It sounds to me like your boyfriend HAS been thinking about you, quite a bit i would imagine, and so him telling you all about this new girl is his way of trying to get you to say that you liked him as well. He was trying to make you jealous, and when it appeared to him like it didn't work, he tried even harder by seeming to appear like he didn't care you were with another guy. I hope that answers your question, and i would do your best to be nice with this guy, because he obviously still has reminents of feelings for you, but if it gets too much you can just say "if your trying to make me jealous, its not working." Good luck!
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hey .. i have a good friend of mine and she wants to kill herself because her and her boyfriend broke up .. and i dont know waht to say to her to make her not kill herself .. like i've said pretty much everything possible and i just dont know waht to do .. nothing i say will make her realize that hes not the only guy and all .. i really need help like asap .. !!
-- ash (link)
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There's really not much you can do, but one piece of advice: most people who say they are suicidal aren't. The fact that shes openly told you about this probably indicates that shes feeling depressed, but not enough to take her own life, she probably wants attention - so why not give it to her for a while? Take her out, try and distract her from her depression/fed up feelings by just being there as a good friend. Thats the most effective thing you can do, and you'll be remembered as always being there for your friend. Good luck!
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my boyfriend and me have been going out for a lil over a month and i still dont feel anything for him, hes totally obssesed with me and i dunno what to say to him without hurting him because hes a really good friend of mine! I feel like im just stuck in a bad relationship. Some people keep saying stuff like i cheat on him all the time which i dont, im just a natural flirt and i cant help it!..id really just rather be single for awhile because spring breaks coming up and i dont wanna have to be tied down! Does anybody know what i could say to him that wouldnt hurt his feelings? :( (link)
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I've always found that people take gently to the classic: "Listen, your a wonderful guy, but your just not for me! I really want us to remain friends as i really value you, but in a relationship its not working." Be really gentle and just be honest! Good luck!
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Alright.. my boyfriend was talking to my best guy friend today.. and my boyfriend I guess called me a dirty whore... someone else told me to call them b-cuz they heard my boyfriend say some mean shit about me!! I'm getting really tired of him talking shit.. but the thing is he doesnt always treat me this way.. when he is nice to me he is a total sweetheart... I am so stressed I love this boy and I really need some help.. (link)
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Do you really love this guy? If you do, you need to seriously reconsider if you'll put up with him insulting you to your friends. I've said this to a few people, respect is the most important thing in a relationship, and if he doesn't have that for you, its never going to work. I know its harsh, but this guy isn't the be all and end all of life, and there are plenty of guys who can be total sweethearts without calling you a whore! I wouldn't really consider staying with this guy.
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Okay, well.. so last summer I met a guy. Well, I actually met him last spring. We live so many miles away from eachother... and it's hard to bare. I met him through a family friend, and well before I even started talking to him I knew I liked him. It was amazing. When I saw him in summer we clicked. Well, atleast I thought we did. I made a new sn, but before that he had never IMed me on mine. Recently, I called him. And it was wierd. He didn't recognize me at first. Do you think it was because he didn't expect it? Because we were close it was wierd that he acted that way. And another thing is... I don't know the next time I'll see him. I mean Im sure I will one day, just no telling when. And I know it wont necesarily work blah blah blah... but I'm not really looking for that sort of advice. What is this disgusting feeling in me whenever I try liking someone else. I feel like he's the only one. And I guess it's because we share the same morals... I like the way his voice sounds (wierd), and he's plain sweet. Maybe quirky, different... but he's cute. And I personally like him. What is this feeling I have for him? And what should I do (in general not even involving him directly)? (link)
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Sounds like you've just got a crush! When you connect with someone that much, of course they leave a mark! Maybe if you want to keep in touch, you should ring him again (not that soon, cos you only rang recently) and ask him if he has an email address. but just cos someone doesn't live near you doesn' mean the two of you can't keep in touch. And he probably didn't recognise you because he hasn't heard from you in a long time, and he was caught off guard. I wouldn't take it personally at all. For the meantime, however, if you don't want to contact him straight away, just go out with your mates often, have a good time, possibily meet other guys and take your mind off him by living life to the full!
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recently my ex has joined a group im in, i dont know how to react he ignores me and i ignore him.. help!! (link)
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What kind of group is it? Well whatever type of group its in, theres really no reason for the two of you to talk to each other if you don't want to. The odd "hi, how are you?" or "see you later" will suffice if neither of you feels the need to talk. If you do feel uncomfortable not talking 2 him, again, just extend the conversation slightly from "hello, how are you?" to "hi, how you doing? i heard you did such and such a thing....etc..." it doesn't have to be a philosophical debate or heart opening session, just the odd word, small talk. Its down to you what you do, but if you feel no need to talk to him, don't!
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i need help writing a poem or any ideas about poems. does anyone know any sites with good love poems by teens? i tried searching but it was no use. =/ the topic is, this one guy and i e to be close and stuff and now it all just drifted away. if anyone can help, let me know, I'll IM you or something. Thanks =) I rate GOOD! (link)
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Do you need to find a poem or write one? Well finding one isn´t a problem, just literally type in on google Love Poems by Teens or Teen Love poems. But, if you are wwriting one, then what i find really helps, is to listen to a slushy CD, then on a clear night, go and look up to the stars, and think about a person you once/ do love, or failing that, go to a place with a really great view. It does sound stupid, but when you realise that love is greater than Richard Curtis films, greater than the stars or any other spectacular landscape you may be looking at, youll find it quite easy to get it down onto paper. Thin big, write small. Thats what someone once told me. Oh, and write what you know, another classic writers phrase. Good luck!
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well, i like 2 guys. one is tall, and really cute and funny. He calls me hobbit because i am a foot shorter than him 5' to 6'. there's one problem tho, he has a gf. They never do anythin together and they talk like they are still friends but whenever we are talking he stops when she comes over. His gf is my friend too and she's really sweet but he doesnt pay as much attention to her as he does to me. But then there is this other guy is most of the time sweet and cute. He tries to make me laugh all the time. He is about the same height as me and lots of freckles. I always stares back at me during one of our classes where i sit behind him. Yesterday, he threw me up against the wall because we were playfighting. It was a joke tho. I don't know, they both flirt but i dont know what to do
(link)
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Someones popular! Sounds like both of these two may like you, whether its more than friends or not only you can determine. My advice would be, if the first guy asks you out (the one that calls you a hobbit) run it by his x gf/ur friend. Its possibly not the most appealing ideas, but tell it to her straight, that you and whateverhisnameis are goig out, and that you hope she is ok with this because it means a lot to you. But firm with her, and try not to leave an opening in the conversation where she could butt in with something along the lines of"Youre betraying me" "I thought you were my friend" etc etc. Get her used to the idea that you and this guy will be going out, mae it clear that you hope she is ok with this, but if shes not shes going to have to deal with it, because its your life. If, however, this guys not the one, and the second one asks you out (unless theres no camicaze ex gf hanging around) then go for it because theres nothing holding you back!
Then again, there is the possiilllity that these two are just friends, but thats down to you to decide, ive just given you ideas of what to do in each possible situation! Good luck!
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okay theres this guy named ryan. i love ryan. ryan says he loves me.. but me nd him get inalot of fights.. not big ones though they last like 1 hour. soo today is my birthday.. me and him were gonna hang out and i walked really far to hang out with him and then he callz my cell and says he is hangin out with (people i hate) kansa and victorea... (there on drugs) i got mad.. very mad.. nd started to walk home.. then when i get home he callz my cell again and says wanna hang out.. and it was like 8 so i was like no and blah blah then i notice he was ingoreing me.. i got mad.. and i told my friends the story. he hurts me.ditchs me.. they think i should forget about him but idk what i should do i really love him.. i cry myself to sleep every night thinking about him.. every mintue of my class i cant stop thinking about him! should i leave him or no?
p.s me and him are not going out .. we love eachother though.
please help i rate high! (link)
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I think its a brilliant idea, the two of you not going out, because choices of different friends can often lead to arguements. The two of you need to sit down (and i know this is undoutedly what everyone says) and have a civilised conversation about it! No arguements or rows! You dont have to tell him you hate his friends, you could put it a different way, for example, be slightly flirtly and suggest the two of you spend more time alone, he´ll probably warm to the idea! Trust me.
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