Hi! I'm a 21 year old college student.
I currently have my AA in psychology and continuing my studies as a psychology major/human development minor. I've been giving advice to my friends for years. I consider advicenators as a way of using my schooling for the real world. So ask away!
Gender: Female
Location: California
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: March 16, 2009
Answers: 24
Last Update: February 5, 2010
Visitors: 3125
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so me and my boyfriend have been together for only a month now but our relationship is undescribable. he is the most amazing guy i have ever met and we click so well.. he is the male version of me. we dont get to see each other much because he is the in the army but when we do we have the most amazing time together and when we arent together we are always talking. problem is he failed a drug test so he is getting kicked out of the army in a month and is going through punishment which is working all day everday basically. we know we prob wont be able to see each other til he is done maybe once for a little before hes kicked out.. but he got arrested last night. he couldnt show up to work and so he is in even more trouble. the army might send him to jail again and who knows when i will be able to see him again. he finds out what happens in the morning but he is still stressing out so bad. he called me and said he was sorry and told me he wants to be with me but is worried that i dont wanna be with him. i told him i cared a lot about him and that i want to be with him and that i will be there for him but i dont think he fully believes me. he is depressed and im scared he is going to break up with me to save himself from getting hurt even tho i will be there for him no matter what. i sent him a text when we got off the phone that said "im so glad youre a part of my life i hope you dont leave me cus you think i wanna leave you.." Im not sure if thats something i should have sent him but im so worried. what should i do? (link)
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Luckily you've only been dating him for a month! Get out before you get in way over your head! If you guys love each other a lot you can definitely wait til he's out of jail and working on fixing himself. He can't take care of himself let alone take care of you too!
It's very very hard to get kicked out of the army because they accept everyone and anyone so whatever he did is very serious. You don't want to be with a guy that already has a criminal record which in turn lessens his chance at finding a decent job once he's out. So that would mean you would have to support him from now on if you two still decide to be together. You need a man that can take care of you not the other way around
Hope I helped!!
^_^
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Hey,
This is a sorta (not) random question.. How can i meet cute,sweet guys? I am turning 17, I live in a tiny town, and there are not any decent guys living where I am, they are jerks. I am not ugly or anything, I am a very open minded, lovable, sweet, athletic, fun girl, and I am not afraid to be myself. I just have bad luck when it comes to meeting guys and must be doing something wrong. Whenever I go out places, all the nice guys seem to be taken... there are never any that seem interested,looking,or even giving me hints (that i know of). I know boyfriends arent everything, but it is something that would make my world a lot happier. I know there is a part of whoever is reading this thinking "boys can just be trouble", but I believe having a special someone in my life would do me a lot of good, since I have no one. My best friend dumped me for my brother (some friend) and I dont have any close friends in my life. I need someone *special* but how to find love/a guy is the problem. There must be decent,lovable guys out there.. I just wish they werent too many miles away :/ :p (link)
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Don't give up! There are decent guys out there. Pay attention to some that may not be considered your "type". Shy guys and "nerdy" types. For you I think you need a shy type of guys because once they open up to you, they are just as fun as a "bad boy" but with more class. A few good places to meet these type of guys are at a library, Borders, arcade, or places you like to hang out. Look to see who's a regular and see who works there. From there strike up conversation. Another way is to make guy friends. Guys are better friends than girls if you ask me and my best guy friend is now my boyfriend. So maybe consider taking that route. Hope my advice helped!
Good Luck ^_^
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okay so we're in love blahblah but the thing is, he's 17 and doesn't drive and he expects me to always give him rides. i honestly don't mind doing it as long as ive got nowhere to be and he gives me gas money once in awhile. he says he'll give me gas money but we both always forget until i drop him off and then i'm like "oh i forgot to get his gas money" but the thing is, if i remind him, i feel bad asking him...he works alot and has money but i still feel bad i guess =/ what should i doo? (link)
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I might be a bit old-fashioned but being old fashioned has its good points in saying that this guy is a total LOSER!!! What ever happened to a guy driving YOU around and treating YOU with his OWN money! He has a job! He could at least stop being cheap and pay you for wasting your time, gas money, and maintenance on your car. I think he's being selfish in thinking that you'll always be there for him and he's taking advantage of your kindness. Think of it this way, my bf at some point in our relationship didn't have a job, car, or money. Yet he somehow managed to see me and take me out. Love is a two-way street. I think you should give him 2 weeks without any rides and see how it goes from there. You'll know after the end of two weeks.
Good Luck ^_^
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hi, i'v never acatualy done this before as I'm a straight A student and normaly have my life together. However recently this boy i liked asked me out. It's been going ok, dates are a bit awkward. I'm pretty sure the only reason he's dating me is because of appearance, he doesn't seem to be interested in what i say.
so i immeresed in contimplating of dumping him but i really like him and stuff so i'v decided not to. i'm travelling to europe for 4 weeks and if my relationship is just based on appearance for him then maybe this won't work. I thought i could get him to "really like" me for who i am but now that im going on vacation. i dont know, 4 weeks is a long time..
-female
14
(link)
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You're a good student and will most likely be going to college after high school. You don't need a guy like that holding you back. I think you need to find a guy with the same intellectual level as you. If you're not feeling it now, most likely you won't be feeling it when you come back in 4 weeks. Guys normally won't change who they are unless they are already doing it while being with you. So go to Europe and have fun!
Good Luck ^_^
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I've been hanging out with this guy. Do guys think it's wrong for girls to make a move.. like a kiss.. first? If I know he likes me. (link)
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Of course we are in modern times and girls sometimes do make the first move. However, if a guy really does like you, he will make the first move, shy or not shy. I have the shyest boyfriend ever but he still made the first move. On your part you have to actually give him hints, tell him, or something to let him know its ok to make a move. It's all about equalization not dominance.
Hope this helps ^_^
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How do I get over him? It's been 3 months and I'm still struggling.
Female,14 (link)
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Usually it takes twice as long to get over it. So probably about 3-6 months before you really heal. If he was your first love. You probably won't ever really get over it because he was your first. Depending on exactly why you broke up in the first place you really do need to talk to him because you probably don't feel that resolved and you can't fully heal and move on unless you know exactly what went on so you don't make that same mistake in the future. And ask questions and make sure to get answers. Best thing to get over a breakup is hear an apology from a guy or the guy that hurt you. It's scientifically proven!
Good Luck ^_^
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I've been going on and off with my boyfriend for over a year.. his birthday is coming up and he'll be turning 18. I don't want it to just be like all of his other birthdays, because he's turning 18, I would want it to be good! you know..? I've gotten him nice jeans and band shirts before .. soo haha.
- He's in a band, he plays guitar.
- Wears nice jeans, but band shirts.
- Listens to screamo music (HA! I know.. and I'm preppy lol)
- Likes XBOX .. doesnt have the new one though.
- Like movies .. but not going to the movie theater (haha IDK!)
I'm not sure what I can do that will be good and not lame and stuff! Guys are so difficult to shop for sometimes haha. THANKS! (link)
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For my boyfriend's 18th birthday, my friends and I and his best guy friend took him clubbing!! But I don't know of any "screamo" clubs. Or buy him a lotto ticket!
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when something goes wrong between my boyfriend, M, and me, i totally lose it. i just get so depressed and pissed off and it gets on everyones nerves. the thing is, i really love him. but im so scared that if something goes wrong, ill lose him again. (he broke up with me twice before..)
im pretty sure hes sick of his high maintinance girlfriend anyways. im sick of being a naggy bitch, but i dont know what else to do. how can i talk to him about this without him thinking im totally obsessed? (link)
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I'm glad you realize that you're not blaming your bf and see that it's you that you need to work on. Which is totally fine. I act the same like you. I get mad at my bf and tell him really mean things. Best thing to do is be honest. I tell my bf, I'm sorry I act crazy, I realize I'm acting crazy and I'm trying to work on my anger, depression, etc. Please be patient with me. I really need you at this time and if you can't deal with this right now. I understand. The reason why he probably keeps breaking up with you is that he doesn't want to deal with verbal abuse ((which is the same as physical abuse mentally)) and healthy relationships don't involve either. Everytime you start getting worked up just think of someone beating you up and remember that you don't want to feel that way and neither does he. PS. You're not high maintenance, you just have a different way of dealing with stress! Don't worry!
Good Luck ^_^
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16f
I've like my guyfriend from school for about 2 and a half months now (it seems so much longer...) and it's possible he likes me but he might not. And there have been a lot of signs saying he does and also certain things saying he just sees me as a friend. I can't tell anymore, I'm so bad at this, I've never had a boyfriend before. Recently I feel like I'm not getting as far with him as I have before, everything is just the same and we're friends. I feel like I'm not getting through to him and it's hard for me to just drop hints that I like him because I'm just bad at this. I'm considering admitting that I like him. But I don't know how, everytime a guy has found out I liked him its just like a complete epic fail, and I feel like it's just going to continue to happen to me. And the only time a guy has found out directly from me was a couple months after my friend blabbed it and I had initially denied it, and that was a big disaster, so I have no idea when, where, and how I would admit it to him. But the thing is compared to other guys I've liked I have a much better chance I'd think and he's much better and more of a keeper than any other guys I've liked, but I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship if this were to backfire. I don't know what to do! Should I tell him and risk rejection and possibly mess up a friendship? And if so how the hell should I do it? I'm so bad at this, please help! (link)
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Its not what you say but how you say it. If you just come on to him without any warning and just say I like you! To him he's probably thinks WHOA! Where did this come from? I thought we had a friendship. So what you should drop hints for about a few weeks then let him know. Best advice I can give is give flirty compliments like your shirt's really nice I like that color on you or tell him a really cute love story like the Notebook and ask what his opinion on it. That way you tell him how you would like to be swept off your feet. See if you connect on a romantic level. When you really can't take it anymore just say, hey I noticed you did "blah blah" and I was wondering if you like me. Then wait...if he hesitates; you quickly say "cuz I think I might like you too" If he quickly says no or I just want to be friends just say ok cool I just wanted to clear the air, are we ok?
Good Luck ^_^
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16/female
normally i dont need help but this is like serious haha. my exboyfriend & i went out for 2 years.. im finally over him after 6 months. of course there are a cute guy in atleast 1 of my classes, but most of the cute ones are in honors.. surpisingly. haha well this one boy lets call him shae, is in my math class but sits on the other side of the room. hes REALLY quiet, but i kinda am too cause i dont talk to alot of people in that class. ive only talked to him twice lol. i asked him if he talks and hes like yeah i do i just have no friends in this class.. and i asked if he got a haircut and he said yes and i told him i liked itt lmao. i really dont know how i'm spose to talk to this boy who sits on the other side of class.. same with alot of other boys. & we have assigned seats. s0o how do i talk to the boys that arent in my classes.. or sit on the other side of the room lol =) (link)
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Since it's a math class, before or after class suggest a study group!!! In study groups even the best students get a bit sidetracked. And invite some other kids too from your class so he can get to know the other kids and it won't seem like a date to him so there's no pressure. That way you can talk to him about the class or what he likes to do or whatever. As for boys in other classes, if I always see them in passing just smile everytime you see them and gradually just say something like, "I see you every day, my name is ___" or say something stupid like, "Are you stalking me?" LoL! As corny as it is..it makes people laugh.
Good Luck ^_^
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18, female.
sooo i've been in a messed up situation for about three years now. i have a good guy friend, known him for years now and have always had a crush on him but he's been going out with his girlfriend who i dislike of three years now. within the past few months they have taken a break, got back together and then broke up and after a month are now back together. i hate how he puts me through this though because he always say "wanna fuck" and hes being serious. he knows im a virgin, he's only had sex with his girlfriend yet he still wants to get with me. i have NOT done anything with him. but im done putting up with his crap, i'm not doing this anymore. i'm not getting hurt, i'm not waiting for him to be done with her. how can i let him know i DONT care anymore, how can i show him he wont always have me there when he cant be with her 24/7 or when they're fighting, or when they're on a break? i mean yeah i still want to be FRIENDS with him but i'm done with wanting to be more. next time he asks if i want to have sex im just thinking about saying, sorry i dont have sex with people who have GIRLFRIENDS, but i'll let you know how it is when i have sex with someone else ;) just to piss him off. i want to say something like that to get back at him for all the stupid stuff he's done to me. but i can just see him acting like he doesnt care and be like "ok" or just not say anything back. how can i get to him? soon i'm getting my hair dyed, i'm going to dress REALLY cute whenever i'm going to see him just to make him mad and realize that theres more out there than his annoying girlfriend. any other suggestions? (link)
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Good for you that you realize that he just wants you as a rebound girl/ friends with benefits. Plus he's not a good friend if he asks you for sex! Just distance yourself from him that way hopefully he'll get the hint. But don't do it to make him mad because frankly I don't think he'll care. As the saying goes "he's just not that into you!" Dress super cute and do your hair to attract another guy; don't worry about that guy he has let you down enough times. Be with someone that will care enough for your feelings!
Good Luck ^_^
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so i was at this MASC(missouri asociation of student councils) thing...and i met this girl, and shes really cool and we spent like the whole day together. but the thing is, she lives in southern missouri, and i live in northern missouri...about 6-4 hours apart. so my question is should i even try to get a relationship going or should i try, but never see her...but shes really cool and idk if i can just forget her... (link)
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Instead of a relationship, how about a friendship? You can get to know her a little better and see if a LDR is worth the effort and $$. If she's into a friendship, she will most likely be all for a relationship later on. LDR's are really tough, but it if you put time and effort then it'll definitely work.
Good Luck ^_^
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