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Hi, I'm Sabrina and I'll try my best to give the community here the utmost advice :) If there are certain mistakes involving the way I convey the words, do pardon me. "If something is normal doesn't mean we have to accept it."
"Either you run the day, or the day runs you."
All the best in your future endeavours :)
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Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl who will be a sophomore in HS in the fall. I honestly think that I wasn't meant to have friends. As long as I can remember, even back in kindergarten, I've been bullied. Growing up, I would get invited to birthday parties by the parents, but when I got there the kid would say they didn't want me there. :( I've had years where I would come home and cry for hours every day because I was so miserable. Fast forward to the present. Everyone at my high school is so shallow that it drives me insane. Don't tell me to join clubs to meet new people, because my school has 300 people and everyone is exactly the same. I had a lunch table of people that I sat with this year, but I have nothing in common with them. They barely said anything to me at all this entire year. People think that I'm a nerd. I get straight A's without even trying because I've basically given up on myself. Plus, everyone likes to pick on me because I'm younger (in my town for some reason, freshmen are sixteen years old, but I was thirteen). I really hate my life. I WANT to be able to go out and have fun with friends, go on dates (I've never had a boyfriend and probably will never have one), and do stuff, but I'm just so depressed. I don't even feel fulfilled doing the things I used to like doing. My entire life revolves around regurgitating A grades to keep my parents happy. I don't want to live like this... Last year I started cutting but it didn't make me feel better. Thanks for reading this far. Help....
Hi there! Actually, the two previous users have already answered your question but i'm just going to pour forth some of my opinions. You see, life is never easy. People out there may be lavished with fun and all but sometimes, trials and tribulations befall you so that you can learn to survive. You are an A student, that's brilliant for a 14 y/o student but based on your problems, maybe all you need is a fresh start for you've been living in the dark phase for so long. Excelling in studies is good but that's not what your life is entirely about.
Start thinking for you, doing things for your ownself and look at your special-ties. I've been through your experience for years, so you really, really need to be patient. Find, pursue other things that can develop into a better you so that things can start to change slowly but steadily. Believe me, if you keep on feeling down because you think you're never going to be happy, then never will you be. Take a moment and think very hard on what you need to do because you're not living for nothing, He has created you for a reason. If He has so willed, He would've taken your life a minute ago.
Regarding your friends, don't worry too much. Try being friendlier to everyone else without changing your good personality. If they're just different, and not in a good way, then you're better off alone. Your schoolmates can hate you all they want, but they can never take away the good in you, right? Start living for yourself. You do deserve a great friend, and he or she is out there somewhere.. You just need to look at the right place. For the time being, try being independent for a moment to give yourself some space to change. Think of solutions, try altering your negative thoughts to postive ones.Fill the empty spots in your mind. I understand the reason why you cut yourself, but perhaps it's time for you to love yourself and make a firm stand. No matter what, at the end of the day, either you alone can be your best friend and your worst enemy. You've the courage to be alone, so hold on to yourself first before doing the same to others. Read this one poem - 'IF' by Rudyard Kipling.
Anything, you can just tell me. May peace be upon you :)
Well, I feel like I have no real friends. I do have this one friend ''fernanda'', we go out and have fun and laugh and stuff, but that's about it. I have tons of friends on facebook, but I don't know most of them in person, all I see are pictures of them having a good time together and just...happy. Something I haven't been for a very long time, see, I'm very insecure...sometimes I feel like I'm just not worth it, and well my story is much longer than what most of you would be willing to read, so let me just cut to the chase and ask you guys...what should I do? I'm not even sure what I'm asking here, it's christmas and I'm looking at all these pictures on facebook of people having fun with their friends, and I'm here at home, nobody called me, nobody cares about me...sometimes I feel jealous of these people, I wish I could be with them and have what they have...happiness, fun, friends... I think I'm a pathetic loser...sometimes I think I don't deserve love, or friends, or any of that for some reason, or maybe my personality just sucks. I'm interested in things like philosophy, history, languages and all that...I just can never find someone to talk with me about that, but at this point I don't care...I just wish I had friends. What should I do? I feel very sad and often cry a lot cuz I think my teenage is passing by and I'm not enjoying it...life is passing by and I can't move on because I feel like a part of it is missing, like something I never had...and maybe never will.
What i'm going to convey may or may not help you but i'll try my best . Firstly , you need to deal with the feeling of insecurity and your true personality . When you're stating something regarding who you are , make sure that there're evidences supporting what you've stated . You might feel worthiless , but is it 100 % true ? Deal with your battles within , and make sure you're controlling your emotions because perceptions conquer thoughts , and thoughts reign the actions . You're 19 , and you still have a lot of chances to have friends arounds you , supporting your life and they may appear from any walks of life but sometimes , to have one or more friends around you , it needs you to be the great friend first . For instance , you could use Facebook and give words of kindness when people need it , and it doesn't matter who they are as long as you've respect . If you do it often , maybe some of your Facebook friends will chat with you , and then you can use the chance you possess to be closer to them , and understand their stories and make friends . Still , don't compare yourself to people . In this world , all men are made equal , and no matter how happy people may seem , they still have their own stories to tell , and maybe very , very painful ones . You too , deserve to be happy just the way you are ! You're feeling lonely not because of the fact that you're friendless , but it's because you're lacking the presence of someone to share almost anything with including your interests , tears , laughter and so on . Don't worry , you'll meet that someone believe me but you need patience as it takes time . Think of the brightside . Your passion towards philosophy , languages and so on is what makes you special , different from others ! Be independent for now , and try being with your family more or be closer with your religion or , consume your time doing the things you love . Gain strength and be motivated . You are the cure to your depression , believe me and , live your life to the fullest . Make a bucketlist and complete yourself . Please , stop crying now :) look around you . Stop crying , listen to inspirational songs and be friendly towards everyone . Just as an additional info , you could email me just about anything . I'd be happy to help you out . Smile now :))
I have a bf who I have been with for two weeks and three days.He hurt me before we started dating.He had started dating his bff,then didn't tell me,and wouldn't talk to me at all.Then when they broke up,he asked me out,and I said yes.But he recently almost kissed another one of his bff's,because he told my friend he thought she was me.But he told me he almost kissed her because he was thinking of me.I told him I forgive him.But i can't seem to get it out of my mind.I'm scared that he'll actually kiss her next time.I really want to break up with him,but he recently told me he loves me,and that i'm the only one for him.I can tell he's telling the truth,because of the way he looks at me.He also bought me a christmas present.My bff's say I should break up with him,but if I do,I will feel really bad.
Should I break up with him?And if so,how should I do it?
From what i've read, the answer depends on you. I admit that i don't know 100% on what's really going on over there, but if you really, really believe that the only person for him is you and breaking up is the last thing on your mind, then give the relationship time. Observe his deeds, the way he expresses his feelings to you and the way he treats you. However, i suggest you to not trust him with all your heart yet because things can sometimes change from good to bad, and bad to worse and the one who's going to bear the burden of tears and bitterness is you and you'll have a long time dealing with these feelings. Like i said earlier, observe him. Remember, you are his girlfriend and you deserve loyalty too from him. It's very strong of you to forgive him eventhough he has hurt you for more than one time but still, don't put your key to happiness in his pocket. Also, life sometimes is about you. Think about it for a moment and ask yourself, can he be trusted ? Is it true that he loves you ? If so, let his actions define his feelings. On the other hand, if you choose to break up with him, you'll lose nothing to be honest. Yes, you might feel really bad afterwards, but if it's worth it, you'll be fine. Think of the best for you and him but prioritise yourself first. See what'll happen if you break up. Don't worry, if he truly loves you, he'll do anything. Remember, if a guy loves you, nothing can make him leave but if he does not, nothing can make him stay. Break up by telling him the truth so that he'll know then, move on. Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one. The choice is yours. Choose the best. Learn from what has happened in the past and don't let the hurtful history haunt you. It's never easy to forget certain things but you need to deal with them and keep in mind that if he violates your trust AGAIN after this, you need to find another guy and let your bf go. Don't worry too much okay ? Be brave. Be independent. Time will heal. Trust your heart and don't fall too easily for him. Don't be scared of what's not happening yet as it will lead to terrible anxiety sometimes. Be scared if you're on the wrong side of the road and fail to see obvious evidences that the relationship is going in a downward spiral then, take actions. All the best :)
So this past year has been kinda hard.. Seventh grade I got made fun of a lot and then in the summer I went out with one of the kids that made fun of me and I just didn't really know it then.. And then I went to the movie in the park with him and we kinda made out.. But we didn't go any further!! I would never do that kind of stuff.. Then he told me if he told his ex that lives in Idaho he would dump me and right when he said that his ex texted me and was like how's u and so and so and I was like good we hung out yesterday but I never told her we never made out.. She told him and he dumped me then when I got back to school eighth grade they started making fun of me for my looks again and so I went out with one of his friends and it was on and off and I do admit to going back and fourth from him to this other kid and then to another kid and then back about three times now the whole school calls me a slut. But I'm a virgin.. How do I get them to stop??
You know , in this life , it's hard to change people especially their words . Maybe you need to stop going back and forth from a guy to another . I know you don't have sinful intentions , but you need to prevent wild accusations . People will always judge you , sometimes they don't realise that all men are equal . Everyone has a story so none of us have the right to judge anyone , to be honest . Don't worry ! If you're innocent and you know that you are , then there's nothing to worry about . Just strengthen your dignity and look up to the world . They don't know you , but you know yourself right ? If the people around you keeps on saying you're a slut , then prove to them you're not ! Plus you're a virgin which means you're very special . Be strong and be hard and again , do remember to take care of your dignity very well . I know I'm not perfect but to be frank , it takes plenty of time to build a reputation but it only takes a second to destroy it . That's why you just need to be yourself and just be kind to everyone . What goes around comes around :)
who create problem in my life
This question has numerous answers so it's kind of hard for me to answer it . Well , anyway , sometimes in life , it is the person himself who creates the problem . Things will happen if you allow them to so that's why , every problem must be solved quickly . Don't procrastinate . It'll only make things worse and one of the best essences in life is to always , always think positive . If you always think and act positive , then you can always get benefits from the good things . You can also extract goodness from the hardship unless you become a pessimist . Don't blame others for anything that happens to you except in certain circumstances . Everything happens for a reason .
So basically there's this guy that I work with that I've gotten pretty close too. We talk all the time and goof around. We eat our lunches together and take all of our breaks together. We're always together at work and he waits for me in the mornings and at night and walks me to the car and we even cook each other things and ask each other if we want something at restaurants that we're at and stuff. He also gave me his number (without me asking) and we text when we are out of work. He doesn't straight out flirt with me but like I said we goof around and he'll playfully touch me sometimes. Today I let it slip that I wanted a bag of bugles out of the vending machine out of work so he immediately got up and went to buy them and I playfully jumped in front of the vending machine so he couldn't get too it and he kept putting his hands on my arms and picked me up and moved me out of the way while laughing and bought me the bag of chips.
He pretends to get upset if I walk too fast because he wants to walk with me and like I said he always waits for me. He even stayed 20 minutes after work once when I was talking with my manager so he could walk me to my car.
Well I added him of fb earlier this week and noticed right away that he had a girlfriend (who he's been with for a year and a half)...I was really upset about it but I figured maybe he just forgot to take her off and hadn't been on facebook in a while since the last post she put on his page was on the 4th of September.
He NEVER mentioned he had a girlfriend and I was starting to view him as more than a friend...I mean guys don't usually do all of those things for you unless they think of you as more than a friend right? Well I also noticed she was still in high school which I thought was odd since he specifically said before that he "had" (like he wasn't in a relationship) two girlfriends during his time in high school and that he was done with those sort of girls. Plus he's 23 so he's long graduated and I'm thinking why is he with a high schooler? He never mentioned her not even one time he never talked about ANY other girl in fact. Which is why I was so thrown off when I found out.
Well today he was talking about some pretty reckless things he'd done while in high school and I said "Is your girlfriend alright with you having done those things?" just in a normal casual tone and he just got silent and said "Yeah she doesn't have a problem with it" after a moment and then a couple minutes he said "I didn't really want "people" to know that I had a girlfriend..." So of course I asked why and he said "I don't know just because I didn't."
The more I think about it the more I feel a little played.
I also feel sort of aggravated and angry about it but the stupid thing is I'm angry with his girlfriend. I feel like she shouldn't be his girlfriend and I know that's arrogant of me but he spends NINE hours a day with me,talking to me,goofing around with me,waiting for me,SPENDING TIME WITH ME. Not her. I really sort of feel like crying because I feel so stupid about it but maybe I'm overreacting.
As this point I'm not sure what I should be feeling.
Am I being played or is she being played?
Should I hold out and see if he breaks up with her?
Hello there and i'm sorry if what i'm going to say will somehow offence you . Look , the thing is , if you really love this guy , let him make his choice . Don't ruin the relationship between both of them so let him make his choice . Love's a hard test for everyone but if it makes you angry and cry , is that love ? All i can say is , don't break up their relationship although he spends most of his time with you because the fact that what goes around comes around is true . If you really , really love him , just be there for him all the time and be a good listener . If he's happy , be happy for him but if he's in hardship , comfort him and listen to all his tears . In the meantime , stop asking those questions in your mind because it's hard to define the answer and only he knows the answer . Be direct , sometimes and at the same , maintain your pride and class . I don't know about everything over there , but if you've the feeling that you're being played and it's obvious , then you know what to do . Move on . Make sure that if he breaks the relationship , it's because he wants to not because of you because the same thing could happen to you in the future . Observe this guy first , don't fall for him too easily . If he's your man , then he will always be no matter how far apart you guys are :) Keep strong and be smart in reading this guy . Recognise the eyes of truth and lies .
I've been noticing a trend in the way people treat me. I've realized it has everything to do with how I act. I'm really nice and I think people feel that because of that, they can push me aside when they don't feel like dealing with me and they know there won't be consequences. Like at work, this one guy talks down to me as if I'm a teenager, but I'm 21. I know that I'm naive and I ask my co-workers a lot of questions pertaining to my job, but at least I'm polite. I don't want to change who I am to receive better treatment, so are there any other options? I'm even receiving the same treatment at a place I internship at, so I realize I'm the problem.
I'm so sorry if what i am about to say will offence you , but social communication is really vital in one's life . You've been nice to everyone but maybe you were to nice and the word 'no' from you could've never be heard , or rarely . Look , it is always important to smile but don't be too nice . Let's say you're doing someone else's job . The people around you will think that you are easy to be used and they're not treating you the way you want them to . You can be more strict to yourself and everyone so stop being naive . Naive is innocent , but people are seeing your innocence as a toy to be played and they could even break your heart easily . Try making yourself stronger and let them know that you can be independent plus if you're being nice in your office but your co-workers doesn't seem to appreciate it , why don't you try smiling to the people outside the office ? The fishmonger , ypur neighbour or just anyone ! Let it be like this . If people don't care about you , live as if you were not born into this world to please them . Please God and your family . We can never change people but we can always change ourselves to the best and that is what matters . Don't look down on yourself . You still have your pride so keep your head up all the time and be strict at certain times .