Bio♥


Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)

Oh, and ask me anything!

Advice

i and my boy friend has dated for 3 and half years and nown we are planing to get married next year but my question is this... early last year i found out that he is having a problem with his sperm, the doctor said he dosent have sperm cell in his sperm. he hasent told me this for the first time even till this moment i found out when he disclosed his email password to me in his sent massage, he sent a prayer reqiuest conferming it (may be forgot to delet it). i really love him and would love to marry him he is may source of happiness i have waited all this years for him to tell me this but he havent why didnt he want to tell me? i want to ask him about it but how do i ask him? please some one should help me out. 22f

It's not exactly a topic that comes up easily in conversation. "Hi, my names John I like long walks on the beach, and I may not be able to how children! Now tell me about yourself! :)"

See what I mean? It's a difficult topic to bring up and he knows there's a chance you may want children and it's hard to bring up. Give him a break.

It's a life long decision that affects everything about your future so think long and hard about where you stand in your relationship now and remember no matter what you choose, you always have options.

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im 15 years old and think im pregnant, i havnt taken a test yet but im late for my period and i dont know what to do, im too scared to tell my mam and ive only told one of my closes friends. im really scared i know i cant have a baby, please help to find out what my choices are without me having to tell my mam.

You're 15 years old. You are still a baby yourself, and you depend on your mother for many things. Your mother is there to protect you. It is her job, until you are 18 years old, to keep you from harm and make sure you are okay. The fact you are pregnant does not change the fact that she is your mother and is the one person that can help you.

I know it's a scary situation. You should know though, that stress can cause your period to become later. So try relaxing a little. How late are you? If you are more than 2 weeks late and you generally have a regualar cycle, then take a pregnancy test. If it's positive, you have to talk to your mother. She can help you from there.

If you are not comfortable talking to your mother, talk to your school guidance counselor. She can lead you in the right direction, but in the end you will have to talk to your mother. You can't hide it.

Basically you have three options:

1. Abortion. Personally I am against abortion, but it's still one of your options and something to consider if you absolutely feel you cannot go through with the pregnancy. It's important to know though, that going through with this option can be very devastating mentally and emotionally, but sometimes physically as well. Having an abortion can cause infertility, and that's always something to think about when going through with such a big decision. Never think this is a "quick fix" to your problem because it's not. Normally I would advise against this, but I don't know you or your situation.

2. Adoption. I'm much more for this option. You will go through the pregnancy, which I know is something that can be a very scary thought. However you won't have to be a parent. You can continue with school and your future plans without having to worry about having a child. More importantly, you will know your child is well taken care of my a stable family in a stable home. However once again there are many consequences that go along with this decision. I can be physically and mentally difficult to give your child away knowing you will never see them again. If you choose to go through with an adoption, you will have to tell your mom.

3. Keep the baby. This will change your life like you will never believe. At your age, your mother will have to help you with child. There is no other option. You are just too young to handle a child on your own. However the responsibities that will be thrown on you will be out of this world difficult.

Basically, regardless of the decision you make, your best bet is to tell your mother. This is a life altering situation that you simply can't handle on your own. The best thing to do is tell her you need to talk to her. Sit her down, and say "I think" or "I am" pregnant." Depending on if you've taken the test yet. Once this part is over you can feel relief and go on with the decision making with her.

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Hi, I'm 17 and from NY. The issue I'm having is that I'm going to SC for 2 1/2 months from August-End of October, and I'm leaving my boyfriend behind :/. This "vacation" is kind of forced on me for several reasons, but overall the thing is I HAVE to go and stay until the end of October, then I can come back. But, what will happen between my boyfriend and I? Will things change? I'm thinking of leaving it up to him whether or not he wants us to still be together or not because I know it would be rude of me to tell him to wait for me and everything. What do you think??
Please, I need advice!
Thanks

That all depends on how long you two have been together/how strong your relationship is, etc.

If you think this will put a strain on your relationship and you would rather be single, explain that to him and end it.

Or talk to him about it. See what his feelings toward the situation are and base your decision off his feelings in regard to your own.

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is it harmful to swallow human male semen?
my wife is concerned about health issues.

Assuming you have no STDS, it's perfectly okay to swallow semen. :)

Tell her to google it if she has concerns.

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20/f. So, of course, I feel like I need a little more independence from my family. I don't want them out of my life. I just need some space. So, I thought I would take on a part time job. The thing is, my first year in college, I was working and I felt like it was too many hours. My grades weren't terrible but after I stopped, I started getting like straight A's. I'm planning to go to grad school so I need as many A's as possible. Especially, because grad school looks at your last 60 credits of course work in depth. Should I take on a job right now, or just wait? It's just hard being my age and needing money from your parents all the time. I know that I'm furthering my education so it's not like I'm sitting around doing nothing. If you suggest I don't take the job, what else can i do to make some money on the side? I thought maybe tutoring or something but I would need to get clients from somewhere. Keep in mind that I could always schedule my job around my schedule. it's not like their going to MAKE me work when I can't. I just don't know what the more responsible choice would be. Please feel free to give your input. Should I take the job? And if not... what can I do to make some money so I could at least pay for my car and my gas and stuff like that. Thank you!

xoxo

Are you taking summer courses? That could be a huge contributing factor in deciding which decision to make. Anyway, I think you should take the job.

Work experience is the best experience, even if you don't realize it at the time. I've been my absolute happiest while working, even when I felt miserable at the time. It's the summer so now is the perfect time to start working and save up money. It will get you away from you family for a major chunk of the day, which in turn will make you appreciate them even more. Besides, you never know when you'll need that cash for college one day.

If you want to tutor that could be an excellent idea as well. Though I doubt you would get much of a demand this time of the year. Around the end of the summer, beginning of fall though, I would put up fliers around your town with your phone number, school experience, and recommendations.

If you get a job and like it, work as many hours as you can this summer, and when fall starts let your manager know you will have to cut back to 20 or less hours a week. Whatever you feel comfortable with. If work starts conflicting with school, talk to your parents. If it's okay with them, go ahead and quit.

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17/f
My brother just said I was a slut because he saw the hickey on my neck.
I made out with this guy, he's one of my friends and I've liked him for over a year. We like each other and stuff but aren't dating, he's 19 though, which is why we aren't dating and are planning to wait.
Does it make me a slut for making out with him? It's not like I'm doing this with every random guy right?

Then my friend told me I wasn't a slut, I would have been if I had sex with him.
Does that mean if I had sex with him it would have made me a slut?

I know this isn't really a big deal but it kinda bothers me so I might as well get people's opinions on it.

I agree with Erin completely.

First of all you are NOT a slut. You didn't have sex with him? Okay, cool. You didn't have sex with him. If you did have sex with, guess what? That's your choice. That doesn't make you a slut either.

I don't call anyone sluts, whores, ho's, whatever. I believe as women it is our choice to have sex with whoever we want. I know a lot of people disagree with me. That's cool too. Society has taught us that as women, if we have multiple sex partners we are easy. Personally I believe it just means we are liberated, know what we want, and aren't afraid to go after it. I don't believe in denying ourselves of our bodily desires. If you are a single woman and choose to have sex with someone, that's YOUR choice. That doesn't make you a whore. It just makes you a woman who goes after what she wants.

I'm sure I will be severely chastised for saying that, but I don't care. It's my opinion that I have formed over the past twenty years. Personally I've only ever been with one man. But as I said, that's my choice. You just have to make yours.

Don't get me wrong! Having multiple sex parnters can be dangerous to your health. Unplanned pregnancies, STDS, and emotional heartbreak are all negative aspects of having sex. But they are negative aspects that can happen whether you are in a committed relationship, married, or having casual sex with different people.

Don't worry about what other people say. All that matters is the opinion you have about yourself. Because at the end of the day, that's who you are going to have to answer to.

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now this isn't as scary as it seems i'm 22 and my bf is 25 so we are both adults. we just found out we are expecting. its a bit of a surprise but we are very excited. there is only one problem my family. i'm sure his family will be okay with it but our familys are very different. his family are very close while mine is not. since we are not married i'm scared that my parents will be upset with us even cause a fight. i'm very emotional about it and my bf keeps telling me to calm down since the stress isn't good for the baby. i'm scared and really have no one to ask about this sice only my bf and i know about the baby right now. i'm really nervous any advice on how to break the news to my parents without tears being involved. some extra information my bf and i live together for 8 months and been together for more than a year. thank you

The best thing to do is just tell them and get it over with.

You live with your boyfriend and the two of you are living your own lives. It's only natural to take it the next step. You are sharing an exciting time of your life with your parents. It's up to them how they choose to take it.

If you are happy about this, and your boyfriend is happy about this, nothing else should matter. You don't live with your parents. They don't support you, so they will not have to support your child either.

If you are excited about it, they will be more prone to excitement as well. If you act as if you've done something wrong or act upset it is only to be expected they will be upset as well. You are their child, and always will be. They want what's best for you and if you act upset they will be upset.

The sooner you tell them the sooner they can join in on this exciting time in your life. If they get upset, give them time. Once they meet their grandchild I guarentee they will sing a different tune! :D

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...he's nine years older than me and lives 400 miles away.

I've known this man for approximately a year and two months; and for a year and two months, I've had the hugest mothereffin' crush on him. I'm talking full-on I-wish-we-could-just-make-out-already kind of stuff. When we met, I was in a very serious relationship which just recently ended due to some issues I'd rather not discuss, so I'm single and free as a bird.

I find him attractive in every facet, sweet as cherry pie, but still sarcastic and loud enough to keep me interested. He's already admitted he has a 'thing' for me, to the point where I'm pretty sure we could date...if he lived anywhere near me.

And also, the main issue at hand? ...I'm a minor. I'm not talking twelve; I'm a senior in high school, about to move out into the adult world. But still. At the moment, nothing between us could happen, because I know both my parents, family, and friends would not be as accepting. Plus, again, I rarely see him in person at ALL.

I really pray he'll never check this site. Because if so, my secret's out.

But...yeah. How to approach? Do I keep in contact, or should I wait around until the right time? Should I be okay with light flirting, or should I try to engage him in actual conversation about it?

You shouldn't pursue the relationship any further than an ongoing flirtation for now. So you're almost 18, right? Once you are 18 you can pursue this relationship in any way you see fit. As for now though? Leave it as it is.

Is this physical attraction enough to attempt making a long distance relationship work? Personally I believe long distance relationships can work, assuming the two partners are already in a comitted relationship. I don't so much understand starting a relationship when distance is already an issue though.

Really the only advice I have is to just wait and see what happens. 9 years is a pretty big age gap, but when two mature adults are involved, I personally don't see an issue. It's up to you to decide what you want to do after your birthday :)

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my step brother act me to date him i dont know what to do

There is no law saying you can't be with him as far as I know. However there will be many problems if you pursue a relationship with him. If the feelings are not too strong quite yet, try forgetting about him. The relationship is not going to be worth the hardships you will put each other through, but most importantly, remember what you are doing to your mother and step father. The problems you will cause them will be horrid. It's best to not be with him.

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hi

I have not yet got my period and I am in year 10, one time I just out me finger down there will it stop my period from coming cause I have done it a bit cause it feels good, and I am scared to ask my mum cause I don't want her to know I do that please help me.

No. Masturbation will not cause your period to come any faster or any slower.

Menstruating later in life is not uncommon, however if you are concerned that you have not yet started, ask your mom to take you to the doctor to have a check up.

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I don't smoke, I just want to know.

I hear all sorts of rumors, such as:
- It makes you stupid
- It damages brain cells
- It contains the same carcinogens as cigarettes

Are any of these true? Are there any other physiological / psychological effects?

The psychological effects of marijauna will harm you much more than the physical effects.

Smoking marijuana is one of the most highly debated topics around right now. Plenty of information can be found on google, so any questions you have about marijuana could be directed there.

Here is an article about the harmful chemicals found in marijuana that I found interesting:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,196678,00.html

And here is an article explaining the different questions you asked:

http://www.nida.nih.gov/infofacts/marijuana.html

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i'm 15/f and a couple of days ago on Thursday, I started getting this sharp pain in my heart to my back every time I took a deep breath. Now it's Saturday night and my heart started racing for just going up and down the stairs to my room. However, I went to the mall and walked for a pretty long time but didn't seem to have any problems. My heartbeat sounds pretty weird too. I'm going to go see the doctors on Monday. Could it be bad? Does anyone else have this? What should I do?

It's important that no one here attempt to diagnose you or give you any type of medical advice. Not even a doctor could do an adequate diagnosis based on what you have said over the internet. With that being said, I am going to share a story about myself with you as it is a somewhat similiar situation.

I have had a racing heart for years and years (I'm only nineteen right now). It was always scary because a lot of the times it had no reason to race. In high school I would go through an entire two hour cheerleading practice without losing a breath, but that night my heart would go crazy even if I was just walking to the kitchen. I eventually mentioned to my mom, but never went to the doctor over it.

Just recently I switched dcotors and during my check up/first examination my doctor said she felt/heard a heart murmur and she wanted me to get an echocardigram (ultrasound on the heart). I did, and was freaking out the entire time because I thought something was generally wrong with me. Turns out my results were fine. My doctor still wants to keep a regular eye out on it, and told me to stop taking cold medicines with sudafed in it. Personally I think there is something more to the story. I never told her about my racing heart and I think that plus the heart murmur is just to much of a coincidence.

My personal self diagnosis is stress. I think I'm having mild panic attacks. Does that mean you are? No. My advice is to go to your doctor's appointment and be sure to tell them everything! Don't leave out anything even if you think it sounds unimportant.

Good luck and try not to stress out over it to much! :)

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How did you code your layout? I think it's really CUTE! I know you have to have a paid account but I just got one and would like to know how you did yours.

I used createblog.com. Go to website templates & pick out a design.

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i have a big nose but i want a face piercing, i really like the monroe, snake bites, and eyebrow, do you think any of this would make my nose look bigger/worse?

If you want it, get it. I have big ears & wanted to get my cartilage pierced for the longest time. I never did because I was afraid it would draw unneccessary attention to my ears. I finally got it done anyway on a whim, and I am glad I did.

If you think it makes your face look weird, you can always take it out & let it grow up.

:)

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I am hoping People have Ideas and Know of Sites where People Share and converse of There Interests! Fun Sites! I Hope People have Many Ideas! I do not have a specific request of What My Interests are. There are many ways to Love and Appreciate!

www.luuux.com

Awwwwesome site :)

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okay well i use to mess around with this boy but now hes baby has been born and he hasnt been talking to me bu the is not with his babys mother and i want to spend time with him like we use to so what sould i do?

You should leave him alone. Whether him & his baby's mother are together or not, both of them are partners for life now. Dating should not be a part of his life right now. His concerns should be his child, and nothing but his child at this point in time. Maybe in the future you can have a relationship with him, but for now back off. They are only babies once, and he needs to cherish this time and raise this child with the mother as best he can, whether they be in an intimate relationship or not.

Find someone else. You don't want to be involved with all that drama unless you absoulely have to.

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I have bad skin and i wanna wear make up to cover the bad parts but i dont kno what kind i should use! They said that its a certain kind that helps clear your skin also but i dont kno what its called! thanks lol

Makeup can only cover up so much. It isn't meant to hide acne, it is meant to even out your skin tone and occasionally hide blemishes. You can use concealer to hide troublesome pimples, but when your entire face is broken out, a lot of the time wearing foundation makes it worse and draws more attention to the problem.

There are types of foundation you can buy that have ingredients in them to help fight acne, however you would be much better off getting a skin cleansing regimen.

There are three key steps to cleaning your face. You need a cleanser, a toner, and a moisturizer. Try Proactiv, the Clinique system, or any other set you think might work for you. If nothing helps, you need to see a dermatologist because it could be a hormonal issue.

As far as foundation goes, check out Sephora and look at the different types, reviews, and formulations. I don't know if you are wanting liquid, pressed powder, mineral foundation, or what. So that would be your best bet.

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I'm 16/f and 3 months along pregnant. Today I woke up and haven't been feeling good but not the usual morning sickness feel. I'm having these weird cramp like pains in my lower half and I spotted blood all day now. I am afraid to tell my mom because I just told her I am pregnant and she's really freaking out about that. What do I do? Do you think I'm miscarrying? What are the signs of a miscarriage? I don't want to lose my baby and I'm scared.

Go to the doctor ASAP. Your symptoms don't mean you are definitely having a miscarriage, but the cramping and bleeding are good signs that you might be. You need to tell your mom and get to the doctor!

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I swear I'm not a freak but ever since, well, for a long time now I've been humping on this teddy bear I have. Today I was thinking about it and I was wondering if this is safe or if it's going to affect my health badly? I hump on his nose, usually, and I wash the bear like once a week or 2 weeks at the very longest. Do you think this is dangerous?

I just read the article the person below me posted. It was...interesting. I don't think you are a plushofile (or whatever they called them). I think you are just a young person will very active hormones. The bear is there and works for you, so that's what you use. This doesn't mean the bear itself turns you on.

If it does, there isn't anything wrong with that I don't guess. Everyone has fetishes. I wouldn't worry about it. It won't affect your health.

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I want a smaller nose. My nose is huge and weird and I feel like it's the only feature any guy sees sometimes. I know I am beautiful inside but my nose keeps me from showing it. It's just so big. All of my life kids picked on me and would call me elephant and stuff because it's so big on my face. I know you can have a nose reduction surgery done and nose plastic surgery and was wondering about how much that usually costs so I can save up for it?

It's called a rhinoplasty, and occasionally insurance will cover this only because having a large or unnatural nose can cause breathing problems. If you don't have any kind of health related problems, the price is going to be much more.

The price of a rhinoplasty will cost anywhere from three to eight thousand dollars.

http://www.yourplasticsurgeryguide.com/rhinoplasty/cost.htm

With all that being said, if you are just doing this for aesthetic reasons, reconsider. I have wanted a breast augmentation for a long time, but the truth is it's just not neccessary. You were born with the body and nose you have for a reason. Learn to love it. Remember plastic surgery doesn't always go right. People get botched jobs all the time and end up coming out worse than they went in. Think long and hard about this. It's like a tattoo, once you do it there really isn't any going back.

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