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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
My ex and I broke up unexpectedly a few months ago (he dumped me). During our relationship, I had spent a lot of time with his family in a different state, visiting with him whenever he went home. I became very close with his family, especially his mom. When he dumped me, I realized, devastatingly, that I would never see his family again, and that I never got to say goodbye.
On a scale of 1 to psychopath, how crazy would it be to write his mom a short, sweet note just thanking her for welcoming me into their home, that I will treasure the memories, and that her family has a special place in my heart? Please consider from both her perspective and that of my ex, who would probably hear about it.
The Answer
If you keep it very short, and full of nothing but gratitude, with no expectation of a response of any kind... Then I think it's all right, even sweet.
Perhaps she'll feel a bit awkward, but she will probably also be glad to be appreciated. The important part is not to leave her feeling that you expect a response, or to be included in any way in the future. Just to say thank you for all she has done.
Who gives a rat's ass what your ex thinks? He forfeited his right to any opinion on your actions when he broke up with you. That's what a break up is. You want to say something nice to his mom, go ahead. His feelings are really not that important.
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