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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
I can't even believe I just typed those words. That has to be one of the weirdest titles to a question that you all have probably ever read, but it happened.
My dad's not the greatest guy in the world and is a far worse father and an absolutely abysmal husband. He's verbally abusive to my mother and calls her names like b!tch, a$$ wipe, and other such things. He screams at her at the top of his lungs and she can't defend herself because it just makes him so much angrier and crazier. He's often in a bad mood and takes it out on her, but denies doing so. He picks on her by doing things just to make her mad because he finds it amusing to get her all riled up, While there are plenty of other ways he sucks as a husband, but you get it.
This is late Monday night and Saturday night, I had a dream that I was at my church with my children decorating one of the sunday school classrooms or something. Then my mom ran in sobbing hysterically. I couldn't get her to tell me what was wrong, but soon, my dad walked in and was yelling at her and making her cry harder. I kept telling him to stop, but he wouldn't and it was making my mom just more and more hysterical which and NO ONE would tell me what in the world was going on. He kept calling her the b word (I don't know if I can actually type it on this site) and I told him to quit that too and while he continued on for a while, eventually he acted like he'd quit. After I turned around, he said it again. Then, one of my sons punched him hard in the face and knocked him down. In my dream, I loved this and was extremely pleased and proud of my son for doing this and when I woke up, I still was happy about it.
I told my mom about it last night and I was afraid she'd think it was a crazy weird dream that I was crazy for having, but she didn't. She was happy about it as I was during the dream and when I first woke up. What kind of crazy, dysfunctional family would have these problems and feel this way about one relative punching another relative in the face.
I care for my dad very much. He can be a jerk and a horrible husband, but I care for him and can't believe that even in a dream, I enjoyed watching him be punched by his own grandson. I wish my family's situation was different. I wish we weren't this dysfunctional, but we are and I can't single handedly fix it. I guess my question is, am I a horrible person? Am I a horrible daughter or a crazy person for enjoying this dream or even dreaming it in the first place. If so, what do I need to do?
The Answer
You aren't terrible. You are human. We aren't in control of our dreams. We are capable of dreaming about truly terrible things, and feeling in ways about them we never really would.
You can understand the difference between shooting an enemy in a video game, or watching a movie where it makes you feel good to watch the bad guy get tossed out a plane, then you can understand that having an idea of someone getting hurt, isn't the same as actually wanting someone to get hurt.
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