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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
we broke up and he said he still wants to be friends. I broke his trust unintentionally and hurt him, and he's gone from so in love to not in love at all. he told me that he wants to be friends still, I don't know, maybe it's because we're good friends before we dated. he said there's no trust as more than friends, but trust as friends can be restored. but it feels as though everytime we talk about the past, he brings up the fact that I hurt him and inevitably I feel like crap everytime because I've apologized and he said he's forgiven me. he also said he doesn't believe anything I say, yet wants to be friends still. it's messing with my mind and also makes me depressed a lot more than I already am. should I even bother staying friends with him or not? thank you, guys.
The Answer
Do you want to be?
That is the only thing that matters and it doesn't sound like you do. Put it this way: If he wasn't your ex, would you put up with a friend who made you feel shitty all the time? Who went out of their way to hold the past over your head? Who wanted to remind you they don't think you are honest, and don't trust you? Someone who forgives you isn't supposed to be constantly trying to put you down.
That's not friendly behavior. You may have fucked up terribly, but he is wants to be friends, he needs to be friendly. If he weren't your ex. If he were just a friend you'd probably at least take some time and space away from that friend, if not just flat out tell the friend to take a hike.
Maybe he was a good boyfriend, and maybe you did hurt him terribly, and maybe he wants to forgive you, but he's still not acting like a good friend.
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