Razhie

"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

(Ask A Question.) (Feedback.) (Discussion Board.) (Make Razhie A Favourite.) (Advicenators.)

My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.

Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

Favourite Collumnists. (WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)

The Question
Hi!
I've been dating the same guy for 5 months and before it was official, we had a thing off and on. I feel for him
Very strongly and can't see myself with anyone else.
However. His little sister started dating my ex boyfriend . Him and I only dated for a good month. But he's been chasing after me ever since. We're super close friends but have been on rocky roads lately. And I guess ...I'm scared to lose him? He's dated other people before my boyfriends little sister, and I didn't have any jealousy
Problems with those girls. And I am truly happy
For him.. I just.. Idk. Am jealous?
I guess what I'm asking is.. How do I cope/deal with this? I'm
Very happy with my current boyfriend and wouldn't give him up
For anything .
So, is there anyway to deal with this ?

The Answer
There is no trick. You just suck it up and deal with it.

Here's the painful truth: Your probably liked the fact this guy was chasing after you. It's nice to have someone like you that much - even if you don't like them back, but that was a shitty deal for him. If he's found someone he is really into, that is actually a great thing. It means you might actually be able to develop a real friendship with your ex, instead of a twisted, unhealthy balance where he is still hung up on you, and you are seeing other people. That situation was always going to get rocky, and lead to drama, because it was unbalanced and hurtful.

You 'lost' this guy a long time ago - when you broke up. It might make you sad that he is no longer chasing you, but that's a good and healthy thing to have happen! That means he's finally caught up with the reality of the situation and has moved on.

Just be kind and respectful of them both. It's okay to be sad that you've lost your exes attention, but remember that it's for the best. It's the first step towards a real, respectful friendship between the two of you, and it was something he desperately needed in his life. He couldn't keep chasing your forever -that would have been terrible for you both.
(View All Other Answers.)

Rating: 5