Razhie

"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.

Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

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The Question
I recently joined Facebook on Friday. Since joining I friend requested some of my cousins. Two of them added me, four if you want to count second and third cousins, but two others on my father’s side and one other on my mother’s side haven’t added me. I’m worried that I did something wrong. All of my aunts and uncles quickly added me as well.
I can’t think of what I could have done wrong though? Most of them I haven’t spoken to in years, since our grandmother passed away 2 years ago, but we’re still blood. My aunt’s ex-husband even added me. I know that we’re estranged, but that’s because I wasn’t on Facebook and had no real way of getting in touch with them. I’ve been wanting to get closer to my cousins for awhile now. One of them told me that he’s definitely up for that, and I have his phone number now, although he’s busy right now because he and his girlfriend are expecting their first child.
Should I ask them if something’s wrong. Am I looking too far into this? My best friend told me that maybe they just don’t use Facebook much, and that’s why they haven’t added me. One responded to one of her father’s photos for father’s day. I’m worried that she’s purposely avoiding me. I'd rather not get my other cousins into this by asking them what they all really think of me.

The Answer
You need to let this go. If you can't accept that some of your family members - people you haven't spoken to in years - maybe don't want to be your friends on Facebook, then you aren't in a healthy place to be using Facebook.

I am friends with some of my family members on Facebook, but not all. We live different lives and some of us use Facebook in ways we don't want to come back and haunt us at the dinner table at Thanksgiving. Some don't use Facebook much at all.

You are looking into this way, way too much.
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