Razhie

"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.

Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

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The Question
So there is is teller that works at my bank. She's been there for a while and sometimes I do get the feeling that she might be interested because she either is more talkative to me than others or makes an extra effort to be the one who serves me (unless that's just in my head and wishful thinking which it could be).

Sorry to use the rather generic and superficial way to classify this but as far as looks go, I'm probably a "6" or in a good day a "7" and on a VERY RARE occasion some with lower standards might put me at an "8". She, on the other hand, is easily a "9" and in my opinion a "10". So, there's a big gap.

I've never been one to easily approach women anyway. If I do, it often takes me months to work up the courage and I literally lament over the language I will use. In the past, I've actually tried to figure out the fewest number of words to get the point across so that I could try to avoid the nerves in my voice.

And I tend to come up with reason, legitimate or not, to avoid asking. In her case, I think about whether or not it might be inappropriate given I am a client of the bank and that it would be awkward banking there if she said no.

So, what should I do? Should I ask her out, and how? Or should I admire her from afar?

The Answer
You aren't going to like this, but there is no responsible way to convey romantic interest to someone in circumstances where they are professionally obliged to be polite to you.

Thats not an excuse you are coming up, that is a totally legit issue. Asking a woman out where she works, and you are a customer, is just not respectful.

By all means talk to her, but don't put her on the spot with a date request while she is working. Ask her questions about her life and get to know her better. If she is interested in you she might clue you in on to where she might be outside of work, where she goes to lunch, or something she does outside of work. If she doesn't do that, or if she avoids answering questions about her life outside of work. assume she is just a friendly teller.

What 'league' she is in really doesn't matter in this case. Because you met her at her place of work, where she has to be kind to you, you are going to have to get her to invite you into her in life in some non-work way, before you can even ask her out! So really, there is no reason for you to stress over this. Keep on talking to her and being friendly. If she is interested in any more than that, she'll open that door. If she doesn't, ah well, you know a friendly teller at your bank.
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