Razhie

"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.

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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

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The Question
I have two teenage daughters who have been blessed with musical talent and beautiful singing voices.There is a talent show at our county fair every year and they want to participate. I am almost certain one of them would win or place as a runner up. Therein lies the problem! They have a close loving relationship but they are extremely competitive with each other when it comes to music. So far I have never allowed them to compete against each other because I am afraid this could create a permanent rift between them. I have tried to encourage them to sing together as a duet but they refuse. Should I allow them to compete individually and possibly damage their relationship for life?

The Answer
Honestly, not allowing them to compete against one another, while they are still under your roof and you can mediate and help them handle the fallout, will only delay any possible problems until they are older and you aren't around to influence how it gets handled.

Eventually, they will find themselves in competition, either with each other or with other people - including close friends. You aren't doing them any favours by not teaching them how to win, and loose, with grace and respect.

Take this as an opportunity to school them on respect. If they fail utterly, then denying them opportunities to compete makes some sense, but at least give them a chance to be successful - not just to be successful at the talent show, but successful at being fair competitors who treat one another with love and respect.
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(Rating: 3) I never said they didn't know how to lose with grace and respect!I am not sure where you got such an idea. They have been in many competitions and always handled themselves gracefully, they have just never competed against each other. I am not concerned for outward behavior just emotional damage.

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