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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
15, female, USA, Christian
Okay, let me explain a little...
I have met gay people. I had a friend who was gay, I don't hate gay people and I don't like it when people are hateful to homosexuals.
But.
I don't agree with it. I'm not sure exactly why though...it just rub's me the wrong way.
I suppose it has something to do with the Bible(considering I am a Christian). But I know the Bible also says "Love your neighbor as yourself" and also not to judge others unless you are in a position to do so, such as being a judge or jury in court. So for that reason (among others like just being a decent person) I try not to judge them, and basically just have the mentality of 'let them take it up with God'.
Plus the fact that, a male and female can reproduce, yet two of the same sex can't. Species reproduction is nature, and homosexuality somewhat counters that. I understand adoption or not wanting to have kids, but in adoptions case they're still not reproducing, just raising a kid without a home.
But before you call me homophobic or something of the sort, please understand I do not hate homosexuals. I simply don't agree with their way of living (I guess you could say) for a multitude of reasons, most of which I'm unsure of.
And in the case of them being born that way, I do believe I heard somewhere that it has something to do with a hormonal imbalance that can be corrected with a shot or something, though I am unsure if that is factual.
Basically, I'm a little worried I will be judged throughout my life for not agreeing with homosexuality completely. Even though I'm not completely sure why.
Plus I just wanted to vent out my thoughts a bit. Though understand I am not trying to change anyone's opinions or beliefs. Believe what you will, I am simply stating what I believe, and I want to hear/read other peoples responses.
Any thoughts (or anything you want to correct me on) you have on this matter I would greatly appreciate reading. (Though do try to be polite)
The Answer
What you've said here is homophobic.
I'm not trying to mean, or call you a bad person, but you need to understand what homophobia actually is, because you are suffering from it. Homophobia isn't just pure hatred, it's an aversion to homosexuals. It's the kind of ideas, ideas you expressed here, that try to suggest that there is something wrong with people who are gay, that they are broken or malformed, and or that they are less human or less worthy than others.
That is what you've expressed here, a prejudicial aversion, and a refusal to respect homosexuals as full, perfectly normal human beings. You may not like being called homophobic, but that is the accurate label for the ideas you've expressed.
Other people have said you are entitled to your feelings - and you are - but you aren't entitled to your own facts, or medical misinformation, and your feelings don't get to define the worthiness or respect that other human being deserve.
Lets be clear: Homosexuality is not an illness that can be cured. The science is actually utterly clear on this. There are people, who for whatever reason, choose not to act on their same-sex desire - maybe because their understanding of their faith tells them not too - but neither medication nor therapy can get rid of it, in part, because it is not an illness.
Although there are studies that have shown some similarities between homosexual development in the uterus NONE of those studies mean that there is a 'problem' or and 'imbalance'. Just something that naturally occurs in the body of a pregnant woman, might (and it's a big might) effect the likelihood of the baby being homosexual, just like other things that naturally occur in the uterus can effect whether a child is right or left handed. Just like left handed people aren't evil, or 'broken' (even though there was a time when many Christains believed they were) neither are homosexuals. It's not someone that the mother has any control over, it's just normal human functioning. Homosexuality is part of the normal variation amount human beings.
There is no shot that can change a homosexual into a hetrosexual. It doesn't exist now, and it's unlikely it ever will. Even if it did, people wouldn't need to change themselves anyways, just because some other people didn't agree with the kind of attraction they felt to other normal, healthy adults, who happen to be the same sex as they are.
If you don't think people should be homosexual because of your faith, that's fine, but don't fall into these horrible prejudices and false science. That is what people will judge most harshly. Not believing people should have sex with the same-sex partner is one thing, but trying to support that belief with false science or data is the part that other people will, very fairly, judge you harshly for. Most people can deal with a person who has a different opinion than they do, but no one likes people who tell untruths to try and make other people look or feel badly.
Hopefully, you are on a journey of love. Most of us are. No one taught homosexuals to being homosexual - they were born that way - but someplace along the line, someone taught you not to like them. You weren't born thinking they were lesser people, you were told. People you love and respect taught you not to love and respect homosexuals. Unlike things that you are, things that are learned can be changed. You might want to work on coming to a greater level of love and respect for all people. It doesn't mean you have to think homosexuality is what God intended, but it does mean you have to accept that homosexuals are full, normal, healthy people deserving of all the respect given to anyone else, because the evidence is in, they absolutely are. You'll be judged harshly if you treat them as less than that, because less than that is discrimination, and discrimination is ugly.
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