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relationship question. I am desperate for advice. I am 22, my boyfriend is almost 23. we have been dating on and off since we were in 8th grade, so for over 8 years now. we do not live together, we each still live at home with parents. i am 8 weeks away from graduating from college with a 4 yr degree, i also work part time. he has not had a single job in his life, and also dropped out of high school senior year. does not have his GED. our relationship is extremely strained because of this. we cannot go out to movies or out to eat because he is literally broke. his parents are enablers and give him money once or twice a week. he spends the money (usually 10 bucks is given) on beer and lottery tickets.
he is on medication for anxiety, has many social issues and is basically afraid of people. he is really overweight and hates himself for it and always talks about how much he hates life. I love him but it is getting really depressing never being able to do much and i work so hard all the time while he literally sleeps all day and for fun gets drunk with his friends.
whenever i try to talk to him about any of this seriously his temper flares and he immediately shuts down. he has lots of anger issues and has yelled, and i mean yelled at me before and curses at me when he is angry even over something little. i know he loves me, and i feel selfish for saying that isn't enough, but it isn't anymore. i don't know what to do. the obvious thing is to leave but i am trying to do anything in my power to fix things before giving up. i have offered to help him study for his GED but he never brings it up. Thanks for reading.
Relationships are give and take. You should be able to split responsibilities down the middle, whether they be financial or otherwise. From the sound of things, this guy brings absolutely nothing to the table. If you think about it, he has no incentive to better himself. He's under the impression that you'll always be there to support him, and his parents aren't exactly pushing him out either. He needs a rude awakening. The best thing that could happen would be for you, and hopefully his parents, to kick him to the curb. People like that don't better themselves unless absolutely forced to; and even then they may not step up to the challenge. That would only further drive home the poit how useless he is to you. If he picks himself up by his bootstraps and can make it on his own, maybe give him another shot. Unless he can do that, he's a drain on you in every way.
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I really appreciate you telling it like it is. Thank you! You are right about the drain, I feel it constantly.
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