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December 15, 2008Answers:
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Hi, I'm Courtney. I want to become a pre-school teacher :] and I've been though a whole heck of a lot, so feel free to ask me anything, i'll do my best to help ! xxo."i refuse to sink."
advice
So, back in november. (i know this is wrong) i was reading his IM conversations. and i saw this...
"My boyfriend (8:39:29 PM): if i tell you something you promise not to tell
The girl he was talking to (8:39:42 PM): you know me im good with secrets
My boyfriend (8:39:46 PM): honestly i havnt told anyone this so if i hear it from soemone else i know you told lol
The girl he was talking to (8:39:59 PM): hahah i wont tell (his name) you knwo me
My boyfriend (8:41:16 PM): next year itll be 4 years from my old girlfriend. and i can still say to this day i still ..."like/love" her . its hard to say love because i love laura . im not sayin id rather be with her over laura its just like one of those things that just never went away. ever. no matter who iget with or go out . no matter how many people im with it never fades . you just gota live with it
The girl he was talking to (8:42:07 PM): wow.... im sorry thats like that... it must drive you crazy
My boyfriend (8:42:16 PM): sometimes it does
My boyfriend (8:42:44 PM): and its not like its the same old story wher she was the first girl i fucked or some shit
My boyfriend (8:42:49 PM): shes just an old gf u kno"
so i ignored it. i figured i shouldnt let his past get in the way of our relationship. well, the other day i see "my boyfriend" and "his ex girlfriend" became friends on facebook. so, that brought all my anger from reading that honestybox back and i called him and went off on him. he thinks the girl he was talking to sent me the convo..
he denies that he means it. he said he said it to get something out of the girl he was talking to.
i dont know what to believe. do you tihnk that in that im is a lie? he kind of really went into detail about it, and even mentioned me... i dont know what to do ugh please help me.
i know how it feels to know that LOGICALLY you should break up with him, but your heart is screaming no, dont. i have been through that soo many times with my boyfriend.
but im telling you right now, whatever you do, follow your own heart, not everyone elses. this is YOUR life, not your friends and not your family. what you do is up to you and nobody else. if you had everyone influencing your decisions everyday, then you would not be your own person or have your own life.
if your heart is telling you to stay with him, then dont let him go, but if you can trust him, then there is no point in staying in the relationship. think about it, no trust = no relationship. there is NO WAY anyone can have a healthy relationship withhout trust.
make a pro and cons list.. it always helps me. then evaluate it and see which side has more.. pros or cons.
and just because he became friends with his ex on facebook does not mean that he is planning on talking to her or dong anything with her .. maybe SHE was the one who added HIM. and maybe his story is true, maybe he did say all of that to get information out of that girl .. but then why didnt he tell you sooner, why did he keep it from you ? .. its questions like that which have to come into your mind. i dont know if he answered those questions for you, but if he didnt, you should ask. we both know that you wont feel better unless you get some legitamate answers, wo why not talk to the girl that he was talking to ? or his ex for that matter.
if you really want to find out the truth, you might have to investigate, or you can trust what your boyfriend has to say and leave it at that.
but he does love you. he never said that he didnt. and his ex, who im guessing was his first love, will ALWAYS be his first love. those things just dont go away. everyone remembers who they gave their heart to first, it doesnt mean that they didnt get it back and give it to someone else, but the memory of how they felt about that person will always remain, no matter what. and thats normal. i hope that makes you feel better, because im sure he loves you.. im sure he IS in love with you and you had every right to flip out on him, but talk to him about this, maybe even give him the benefit of the doubt, and then if he messes up again, or you cant trust him and you just cant deal with it, then end it.
but communication is key. and i wouldnt want anyone, including me, telling you what to do.. whther its breaking up with him or staying with him, i want this to be entirely up to you, so you can look back and say to yourself, "I was the one who made MY own decision." yuh know ?
and if you break up with him, you may not think its the right decision, but thats how everyone feels at first, and youll miss him, but sometimes you need to let go and find someone else who wont hurt you or do things behind your back.
but sweet heart, do what YOU feel is right. listen to some music, write, and most importantly.. think. take some time for yourself and just think. you'll make the right decision for yourself, i KNOW that you will.
good luck ! i know how you feel, and you are going through a really hard and confusing time. it will all be okay in the end, if its not okay, then its not the end. if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me, xxo. :]
(Rating: 5) thank you so much! amazing advice =]