Gender:
FemaleAge:
20Member Since:
December 15, 2008Answers:
777Last Update:
April 28, 2013Visitors:
41603Favorite Columnists
rainhorse68
xosodapopx3
walkonthefire
Morenita487
lilgymgurl
gonnabefamous53
S0Exciited
Flygurl557
garrett54540
Main Categories:
Friendship
Love Life
Work/School Relationships
View All
about
Hi, I'm Courtney. I want to become a pre-school teacher :] and I've been though a whole heck of a lot, so feel free to ask me anything, i'll do my best to help ! xxo."i refuse to sink."
advice
So there is this guy I really love. I've loved him for five years now. We use to be really close but we live in different countries now and I think he stopped loving me back. We use to flirt a lot and once he told me I'd be his perfect girl if only and he was about to tell me if only what but he shut his phone and he never wanted to talk about it again. I never asked him if only what again because I know him and he'd get annoyed at me and we wouldn't talk for a while. Well I've been going through some hard times and he's been ignoring me for a couple months now so I just decided to write him this really long message about what I'm going through and how I wanted to kill myself. He started talking to me a lot after that and helping me through stuff but now he's stopped replying again. I love him so much but I just want to let go but I can't because I know he'll start talking to me again soon. I feel like our relationship is so fucked up because one minute its like old times again and next he's got better people to talk to. I tried asking him what's going on really seriously in the message but he just said nothing is going on and that we're still good friends. What should I do? Deleting him is not an option, and talking to him is not an option. I'm seeing him this summer btw. Thanks so much! :/
wait, correct me if im wrong.. but you both live in different countries.. which means you talk over the internet and phone and such, right ?
well, i hope thats right, because if its not im gonna give you like the wrong advice haha. ill re-do it if im wrong, just tell me :]
anyways, okay. so, long distance relationsbhips/friendships are very hard to deal with. im pretty sure when he said that youd be his perfect girl if only... he was most likely going to say, if you lived by me. and this most likely upset him, therefore he didnt talk to you for a good amount of time.
from what youve shared with me i can already tell that it takes ALOT for him to be vulnerable and accept that life will bring obstacles. im 100% positive that he cares deeply for you, but i dont think that he has the heart to talk to you all of the time and grow closer to you everyday for fear that the distance [in miles] between you two are too great.
and im betting that he wont want to talk about this if you brought it up. but since you said that talking isnt an option and deleting him isnt one either, than all you can do is wait it out.. or travel and visit him.. which probably wont happen. if he doesnt want to talk to you right now, and just needs some space, but says that everything is fine.. believe him. i know, i know. that seems ridiculous, but you seriously have to just trust him on this one, its what hes basically telling you he wants you to do.
when summer comes around, he'll talk to you befor then. i promise. just give it time.
and im sorry that you were going through a really rough time :[ i wish i could have helped you. but thankfully, he did. and him doing so proves that you mean a great deal to him. he just needs some space occasionally, and i know that it hurts you, and if i were you, id tell him that it hurts me. because you shouldnt be afraid that he wont talk to you.. he cares about you, and sharing how you feel wont stop that, trust me.
wait a few weeks to talk to him, maybe even a month. and if he doesnt talk to you by then.. try it once. and if he still doesnt, then wait until HE comes to YOU. which he will, before summer.
just keep your mind off of him right now. hang with friends, go out and have FUN ! because you deserve it girl.
good luck, hope i helped, and if you need anything else, you know where to reach me :] and by the way.. dont give up. stay strong. xxo.
(Rating: 5) I didn't even think about him being afraid of the distance. He recently lost his dad to a heart attack and he's been having a really hard time. Maybe that has something to do with it. I feel way better. Thanks!!! :)