Hi I'm Jeannie.I would love to help you with any questions you may have, so feel free to ask, no question I would ever consider stupid or embarassing so don't worry. Also, I am a college student, and I have been through a few things, so if you would like my opinion just ask, if not then please specify. And remember that you are beautiful no matter what you feel or what you are going through. :)
Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Occupation: student
Age: 18
Member Since: June 25, 2008
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17/F
I was with my boyfriend, Jake, for about 9 months. We've had MANY lows and few highs, but our relationship level was somewhat in the middle. A lot had to do with the fact that I live an hour away from him, so we only saw each other about twice a week.
Well, these past two weeks we hadn't seen each other much at all. We were also hitting a rough patch because I didn't drive down to see him as often as I usually did. I went and saw him the other day, and it was him who brought up that we should break up. The break up was not bad at all -- in fact, it was probably the best break up ever -- and that's what makes it so much harder.
He wants to be good friends with me. He even said, "If I could choose between being really unhappy but dating you, or not talking to you at all, I'd stay with you because I can't stand not having you in my life." Another things he said was "I honestly might regret this in a few days, so if I call you, you can do one of two things: disregard me, or really, really, reconsider it." He said that we would hang out often, call each other, etc. He said he would start calling me in a week.
I know I was mentally prepared for it, but the impact of the breakup really tore me apart. I teared up a lot when we were talking, but I really broke down when I left his house and got away from his view. Now, I can't stop thinking about him. I think it's one of those "want what you don't have" type of things.
I'm terrified to be his friend because I don't know how to be -- we were NEVER "just friends". We also respect each other enough to give each other room to adjust before dating other people. However, I'm scared of this whole friend thing, as I just said. I'm afraid that, if we're friends, I won't get over him when I really should.
What are the best ways to get over a breakup? (link)
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The best way to get over a break up is time. If you guys were really intense, it may not be the best idea to just be friends, b/c that will make even harder. But I can see why you are scared to be friends with him, and it may be really hard, im not going to lie to you. But if anything give it s shot, if worse comes to worse, you guys can take a break from the whole situation until you both have started to move on, then be friends again. I understand why you are sad and everything, and I am sorry you guys broke up, it is hard. But not allowing yourself to move on is even harder.
Just go out and do things don't just sit at home all depressed, go out with friends and live your life, you can handle this and you will be okay.
Sometimes if you wirte how it makes you feel, that is a cathartic way to realize any heldback emotions.
Just give yourself time and live your life, that is how you move on. If you hold yourself back and just stay at home, you will never move on. ITll hurt at first, but thats how it is. Just try to be friends and don't worry about it, just give it a chance, and see where it goes.
Good luck, and I am sorry again about Jake. Things will get better soon, I promise. :)
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Rating: 5
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Thank you very much! I totally agree, I've been focusing on myself, meaning, going out with friends and working out and I've even taken up a new hobby: snowboarding! It is hard, and when I'm not busy I do think about him a lot. But I've reached the point where I'm more "numb" about it, and it definitely helps that he lives an hour away so I dont have to run into him at different places.
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