Hi I'm Jeannie.I would love to help you with any questions you may have, so feel free to ask, no question I would ever consider stupid or embarassing so don't worry. Also, I am a college student, and I have been through a few things, so if you would like my opinion just ask, if not then please specify. And remember that you are beautiful no matter what you feel or what you are going through. :)
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Age: 18
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15/f
I just found out a week ago that a lot of my friends are sexually active. And I'm not, like at all.
I don't want to just find a random guy and do sexual things with him, but the way my friends talk about it...they kinda tell me in a condescending way. Like "Oh yes, I did this...and oh there's little Jane over there, still innocent." They aren't being mean or anything and they don't mean to say it like that I don't think, but it's just sort of shocking.
I guess that I always thought that I'd kinda be the first or something. Or that I'd at least get somewhere. I don't really want to be sexually active unless it's with someone really really special that I'm really really committed to. Like we are talking major commitment. My friends who are sexually active have boyfriends that they've been dating for years.
I guess I sort of just feel like a loser because I haven't gone very far. And I know that I shouldn't, but now knowing that my friends have makes me feel like I'm left out of something and too stupid to do any of it. I just thought that it was okay not to be sexually active because that was the normal thing, but now that the majority of my friends are, I just feel weird and prude. But then there's another part of me that now feels like stuff like that is automatically expected in a relationship at our age and I'm not sure if I'd be ready for that if I ever have another boyfriend. I don't want to make a stupid mistake OR feel like I HAVE to make a stupid mistake.
I know that you shouldn't have sex just because everyone else is doing it. I'm just confused and I can't talk to my mom about this because that would betray my friends.
Does that make any sense? (link)
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You are absolutely right you shouldn't be having sex just because everyone else is doing it.
I understand how you feel, because a majority of my friends are all sexually active. I'm not. So yes I understand what it feels like to feel like aloser or inexperienced, but good for you, you are the type of person that will get the best guy out there, b/c you are waiting, you're the type that he wants to take home to meet his mom. I'm that type too, so I know what it feels like to feel kinda outcasted, like the world is going on w/o you and you're not sure if you even fit in this era or generation. That's how I feel, but look at it this way, you can go out any night and be just like them but they can never again be just like you.
Also, I have watched my friends jump into sex, and some later regret it. Sex is also an emotional thing, if you aren't ready, you will regret it. See I'm choosing to wait til I'm married, b/c then I have the whole commitment thing and I'll be with the guy that I truely love. It may not seem like it now, but you are on the right path by waiting, don't just throw it in to be a part of the group, be an individual, stand by what you believe in, youll go a lot further in life that way.
Most guys do want just sex, but not all of them. If you meet that guy that is willing to wait, be grateful, b/c guys like that are hard to find.
Good luck, and stay true to yourself and beliefs.
And with this day and age, people have sex like theyuse the bathroom, its second nature to them, it dosen't mean you have to be like that. Hollywood, really puts that into peoples minds, that morals are degrading when its not. It's important.
Be who you are and follow your heart, don't change yourself for other people, b/c then you will lose yourself, and it takes a while to get it back.
Hope I made at least some sense, best of luck to you,
:)
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Rating: 5
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Wow this was awesome advice. Very reassuring thank you. =]
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