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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
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advice
well i was just wondering how like everyone says that if you don't fight or have alot of bad times then its not a real relationship? but like i really like this guy, we're not technically dating but we both really like each other and i think he's gonna ask me out soon the next time we hang out, but we don't fight at all and we have so much fun together but we've never been in a fight yet. so my question is, is that normal? does it mean our relationship won't last because its not real? i kinda want a fight to come though because i want to see if he will still stay with me but i dont wanna like pick a fight, what should i do? thankss
16/f
You don't have a real relationship because you don't fight, you don't have one because he hasn't asked you out yet! One step at a time =].
As for this fight business, no, creating a fight won't make it "real". Basically, the statement refers to how two people in a relationship who care about each other and spend enough time together usually will hurt each other in little ways without realizing it. Not that it's anyone's fault, but spending a lot of time with someone else with different ways of thinking and expressing themselves almost guarantees this. As these issues arise, there are three options: you pretend you aren't hurt, you break up with the other person, or you talk it out and deal with the problem.
Having a fight in this case doesn't have to be a fight in the traditional sense (you know, screaming, throwing furniture). Ideally, there will be some way of releasing the frustration in a loving way (ie. "It bugs me when you ________, and I feel like you don't care about me when you _______"). Ideally, there is enough communication so you have a little "fight", no one gets hurt, and you both learn how to deal with issues that come up in the relationship so no one gets hurt.
Right now you are getting along and happy and this is a GOOD thing. Eventually, though, if you date for long enough, you may find you have your little issues. Now, I don't recommend yelling at him, respectfully telling him is usually a better way, but you will find that the bumps in relationships do happen, and you can deal with them when they come.
(Rating: 5) thankss i get it