LiLMAMAx's advice column

Hey there (: I'm Bryttnii ♥ I'm a Senior. I'm 17 and I seem to have been through a lot in my seventeen years. I love giving advice & recieving advice. I'm here to give you my honest opinion & responses to your questions. I don't give the answers you want to hear, I give the answers you need to hear. I've had an advice column since I was 14. But of course, I made a new one that I stay on constantly! I take Cosmetology in school and I love it. I get my Cosmetology license in 9 months. I'd like to go to college for Criminal Justice and be a Detective ;] Speak to me about anything.

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advice

my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years. we have a baby together and live together. we broke up for a period of 2 months and just 3 weeks ago, he moved back in, and we are going through couples counseling to try and work things out. everytime i even look in the direction of another man, i get world war 3 in my ear. every little movement i make is questioned...he even goes as far as looking at my cell phone constantly. clearly, he does not trust me, and to be honest, i dont trust him that much either, which is why we are going through counseling to work out our issues and built ourselves up. however, there is a girl that lives upstairs from us (we live in an apt. building) and she lives with her boyfriend and their one year old son. my boyfriend is friends with her boyfriend and i am cool with the both of them. i dont talk to them much, but have no problems with them and they seem like nice people that i could definately get to know. my boyfriend goes up there sometimes to hang out with them. well, her boyfriend went to jail a few days ago and my boyfriend continues to go up there. he goes up there at least once a day for a while at a time. some of her friends and family are up there most of the time, so her and my boyfriend are never alone. they all just hang out up there. however, i do not feel it is fair for him to be up there as much as he is since it DOES make me uncomfortable. just the fact that my man is constantly going to another females apt. time after time really gets under my skin. plus, when you look at the big picture, he is CONSTANTLY picking at every move i make(the trust issues) and constantly checking everything i do and everyone i look at and so forth. we have been arguing about this for the past week because my point is: if your girlfriend is uncomfortable with you going to another females apt. ALL the time, then you stop. no question about it. there should be no comparison and not even a fight about it. that girl should not mean nearly as much to him as i do, so it shouldnt matter. he says he is allowed to have friends and yes of course he is! but after all the crap i hear from him about what IM doing, i dont think its fair for him to get to run around and do whatever he wants and it should be okay. he said we dont have friends unless there mutual, and i agreed, even though i feel its rediculous. he said that because when we got back together, i had new friends that he didnt know. and, now that its time for HIM to follow his OWN rules, everything changes and it doesnt apply. and besides, this friend isnt mutual. he asks me to come up there and im always busy or doing something with the baby so i dont go. but flat out, if your girl isnt okay with something like that, then it should end there. any suggestions or opinions???

I understand completely how you feel. There is always a trust issue in every relationship. It's normal but sometimes people go way to far. If I was you, I'd sit him down one on one. Tell him EXACTLY how you feel. Pour everything out in the conversation. Tell him that it's okay to have friends, but when you're spending more time with another woman than your girlfriend, then something needs to change. Just let him know how much you love & care about him and that you just want a healthy relationship again. Sometimes, honesty is the key. When he wants to go through your phone, hand it to him and just let him with no complaint. If he sees that you have nothing to hide, then he'll start trusting you more. Also, let him know that there is no reason for ya'll to not have trust with eachother. Guys can be good listeners if you start off with something that will make them want to sit down & shut up lol. ♥

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(Rating: 5) lol i know thats right haha ..thanks so much hun

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