E-mail:
xlovexx463@aim.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
United StatesAge:
17Member Since:
February 12, 2008Answers:
250Last Update:
April 3, 2010Visitors:
20846Favorite Columnists
karenR
Melody
GilbertMar
Peeps
venom_97
AskKay23
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Families
View All
about
It's fine.Ask me a question. I like giving advice. If you don't like the advice I give, or the opinion I have, it's fine.
Sometimes you can't get through to people no matter how long and hard you try.
advice
15/f
This is kind of a long story:
My boyfriend (ben) always used to tell me about how all these girls are all over him, they tell him hes hot and they give him hugs randomly.
He said that one girl tried to give him a lapdance jokingly and thyre always sitting on his lap.
He tells me about all of his friends that are girls and how they are all flirty with him.
I recently asked his friend dave and he said that all the girls think ben is weird and that ben never talks
note: me and him do not go to the same school
He also lies to me alot, but its only to impress me. Hes very shy, so to make it seem that way: he lies to me.
He tells me he fights in these gangs all the time: when he has no friends (or so i hear from dave: who is a very trustworthy person and a good friend of mine)
Dave is Bens only friend, and ben sits all by himself on the bus.
Hes always talking about this girl Victoria who he says he hates, but he continues to bring her up.
Also, im his first girlfriend (Dave told me this and so did my other friend Danny)
But thats not what ben told me.
The number of girlfreinds hes had changes every time he brings it up.
One time he told me hes had five.
Another time seven
Another time twelve
and some of the names were: leslie, jojo, marrissa, nikki, michelle etc ..
and i asked dave about these people and he said that there arent even girls in the school with that name!
Theres always a story about a new girl EVERY week.
I'm not jelous, because i know these are lies.
But he thinks that talking about other girls will impress me, but it only pisses me off.
I know that lying is bad, and that it gets in the way with a relationship: but he is a very shy kid, who just needs a friend, and somebody to be there for him. The kids in school treat him like scum, and i know this by experience.
For example: We were at the movies the other day and he saw some kid from his school.
The kid took a tampon and shoved it in Ben's face saying: MMMMMM, smeelss good doesnt it?
Kids in school tease him because they say hes weird, and doesnt talk.
I just dont know what to do anymore, his school is full of stuck up bitchy && slutty girls, and immature jerky boys. But he acts like everything is wonderful, when i know its not.
Please help me, im totally lost. I feel so bad for him, and i love him so much. And i know he loves me.
He shows it and says it alot, im the only thing he has left and if i break up with him it will only make things worse: so please dont put that as one of your answers becuase i love him and that would be the last thing i ever want to do.
I just need a solution.
Im running out of ideas
thankyou so much!
I think that he only acts this way because he doesn't like the way his life is going right now (kids making fun of him, girls thinking he's weird, etc.), so he makes stuff up about his life. He lies about what's going on because he wants to make himself feel better, and probably also to impress you. He likes you a lot is what I gather from your question, and therefore wants you to think he's absolutely amazing. What he doesn't get is that you think he's amazing no matter what...which clearly you do because you still love him even though you know he lies. Therefore, you need to tell him how wonderful he is and that you love him no matter what. Let him know that everyday. I think all he wants is acceptance, because he clearly isn't getting it from his peers.
I wouldn't confront him about all the lies he's told in the past; the past is over so let's move on. But, if he lies again and it makes you uncomfortable, ask him about it. Say something like: "Are you serious?" or "Is that really true?" Try asking a question like that three times allowing him to answer in between each time. If his story changes little by little, you might get him to admit he's lying. Just don't go right out and say "You're lying, you scum!" lol that wouldn't be good ;]
Anyways, good luck with your relationship and I personally think that it's wonderful that you want to stay by his side because after all, all he needs is someone like you.
(Rating: 5) thankyou soo much!
you really helped me =]