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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
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advice
15/f
ok so i can be really outgoing but only when i'm around certain people. mostly when i'm with my best friend or a group of people or sister. but when i'm with my boyfriend i get so quiet/shy and i can never think of anything to talk about. i think he's kinda shy around me too because he doesn't really say much either but it makes me feeeel sooo awkward and stupid. i don't really want to tell him that but if it come to it i will. how can i open up more to him and think of what to talk about?
i think the reason is we've been dating 4 months almost and i dated him the day after i met him. i know that was dumb and i normally NEVER do that, like he's my first real boyfriend and he's awesome. any advice on that would be great!
also is it fake to act different around other people? i'm just really self concious around some people and quiet so my real personality doesn't show. i'm only loud and outgoing to people i've known for a long time,,is that like fake? i don't mean to be.
again thanks for any advice! :D
It's pretty normal to act different around different people. When you think about it, it's almost necessary. You can't act the way you would around a teacher, or boss, as you would your best friend. It's pretty common for you to act shyer around someone you like. It just means that you want to impress him, that you're naturally more embarrassed around him because that's what liking him does to you.
My advice would be to not worry so much about what to say to him, or how smart your words sound. Sometimes it is important to babble, especially when the other person is shy, so that they can at least react to things you are saying if they are unable to come up with their own topics. Don't be afraid to stay on simple topics, such as: "how was your math test" or "What are you doing for the holidays?". Try to ask more open-ended questions, and answer with open ended answers. When he says something to you, relate it to your own life to keep the conversation going.
If all else fails, try some group dates, or spend time with your boyfriend and people you are talkative with all at once. This will get you two talking, and, later on you can refer back to things that either involve the group date or weird /funny things that happened to your sister/best friend, now that he knows who you're talking about.
Don't worry. After spending enough time with him, you'll (hopefully) be as comfortable around him as your best friend. Communication in romantic relationships is just like it is in any other type of relationship: it takes time.
(Rating: 5) thanks you made me feel a lot better =]