Member Since:
February 13, 2007Answers:
449Last Update:
January 2, 2012Visitors:
30635Favorite Columnists
Razhie
orphans
HectorJr
Daimeera
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
View All
about
I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
Me and this guy went out for a month last year, but have been unofficially on and off for a year (last January till now). There is something about him, that I can not get over. And he likes me now. But for the past few months, he either rejected me and told he just wanted to be friends when i told him I liked him. Or he would be wishy washy (I like her, but i dont want to go down the same path since we went out b4). This weekend we were doing the usual flirting thing, but it was different. And when my guy best friend asked him if he liked me, he said yes he does. But he also said that he said no so many times before, for him to say yes now would have the other no's mean nothing. He also made the statement that he is not sure his pride will let him tell me now that he likes me. I think its stupid...but I dont want to let this go now that he actually likes me. I feel like if I get him to admit his feelings to me then the rest of his insecurites would be easier to tackle. I need lots of suggestions to start a conversation to get to this point (having us admit our feelings for each other). How to tell him that its going to be ok (technically I am not even supposed to kno he likes me, he told my best friend in confidence). I really want this to work!
thanks in advance
Just because he likes you does not mean that he wants to be in a relationship with you. That's probably why he won't admit to liking you, even though part of him probably did even while he was rejecting you in the past. A year is a pretty long time to have an on and off again relationship, chances are, he likes you but wants to get over you, and you're not letting him.
Think of how this will work: you trying to "tackle his insecurities" and drag him into a relationship that he's not so sure he'll want. Both of you won't be happy if he's not fully committed and you'll be constantly trying to get something more out of him. You'll break up. Again.
I'd recommend you move on. That would be the smart thing to do - find a guy who's committed to you, who's insecurities you won't have to tackle to be with. Keeping your distance would help both of you move on.
Since you did ask, though, the best way to get back together with him would be similar to option A. Back off a little. Don't try to drag confessions out of him but lay low and act friendly until he trusts you again. If he feels ready to be in a relationship with, he'll confess on his own. Keep it neutral until then.
(Rating: 4) I honestly didnt ask whether to move on or not...i needed to know how to tell him thanx tho