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advice
I have been single for 10 months because my past relationship was with a guy I truely loved but he wasnt willing to devote himself to atleast calling me once a day to talk to me.
I have found this guy that I really like and He recently told me he liked me to. hes really nice, and not like most of the other guys i know. He is rude, he doesnt party much and hes not like most of the guys ive dated. I really like him but for some reason I get really shy around him (which isnt normal). The only thing Im afraid of is that Im going to push him away Like i do with alot of guys and i dont want to do that.
I think i push guys away when the treat me well but i dont understand why.
my question is. How do I try to losten up around him so that he knows i like him and so maybe we could move further and start dating. And how do I not push him away when this starts to happen?
Please help!
Getting shy around someone you like is actually quite normal; this is probably not what will drive him away. What will do this is the fact that you seem to be rather demanding on these guys.
I obviously can't gauge much from what is written here, but it seems a little odd that you would break up with someone because they wouldn't call you once a day. Sure, it's nice to be called once a day, or to want to be called once a day to be talked to. However, if you start demanding this, especially to the point where that would break you up with someone, this is a problem. Putting any sort of demand on a relationship (ei, you have to call me once a day or we won't be together) generally strains it. Obviously he shouldn't be allowed to cheat or do something else to bully or disrespect you, but no guy is going to want to be with you if it comes with too many conditions. In the future, try putting into a relationship what you want out of it. If he doesn't call, call him. If he's busy often, be flexible. You don't really have a problem if he no longer enjoys talking to you.
With this new guy, don't focus so much on what you are doing per say, or get overly paranoid about messing anything up. Think of it as being friends with a guy along with some extra benefits and commitment. Think of it like being in a really close friendship - you don't ask to be called every night, but you end up spending hours on the phone anyway because well you can't explain it, you just enjoy doing that.
Also remember that you are just getting to know this guy. Have fun and go places with him casually, and let things develop on their own. The best advice I was ever given on this topic was not to force anything.
Wish you luck =]
(Rating: 3) i think you missed my point about the whole not calling thing by a like shot. he wouldnt call me for 3-5 day at a time which is NOT right in any relationship i think if your going to be in a relationship it is good to here from someone atleast once a day to see how there doing and sense he never had a cell phone i wouldnt know where to call to find him which is why he would have had to call ME but he wouldnt. that was my point about my ex not being comitted. I just didnt want to go into detail because its painful.