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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
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advice
hey
15/f
I wanna start off by saying that I dont want to sound stuck up or into myself or anything.
Anyway, I havnt had my first kiss yet. Im not prude. Alot of guys like me and think im hot, something just usually goes wrong before I kiss them. I've done other stuff, just not kissing. Is this really lame?
Also
When I do have my first kiss, I want it to seem like I know what im doing. Can I do this through just being confident or should I practice or something....? Also are first kisses really that important? Or should I just get it over with so I have some experience for someone I do really really like
No, it's not lame that you haven't kissed yet. There are actually tons of people your age who haven't been kissed, just most don't project it openly, you know "I just got kissed" sounds a lot more exciting than "I wasn't kissed, today.." . But anyway, you shouldn't just kiss someone to be able to check that off on your life checklist or whatever (I think that's lame, and it says something about you that you didn't.
Which brings me to my next point. Your first kiss is what you make of it. There are people that got it in kindergarten by someone they didn't like and I'm not sure that really counts, and people that got it later on with someone that never cared or was doing it for the heck of it. However, whether you like it or not, a kiss establishes something between two people. It's not conscious; it's completely biological. And the first time you kiss is the only time you'll really be as completely terrified and unsure and surprised when it does happen. Like a new discovery that's scary but eye opening at the same time. After that, kisses won't be as big a deal.
My personal opinion is that you should wait for someone you care about. Getting it over with sends completely the wrong message, and you could end up developing feelings for a guy you don't actually want to like, or he could actually have feelings for you and then he'll feel used and you'll be guilty for being the user. Kissing could become something casual for you, and could mess you up a bit psychologically so you lose your criteria for who you'll kiss. In my opinion, you should kiss someone who you've already established something with. That way it'll still be a bit deal for you, the first kiss you guys share, and you'll stay grounded about your kissing "values". He'll likely be a lot more sensitive and you'll likely enjoy it a lot more. If it's your first of anything you'll most likely remember it for a looong time, so you might as well make it something you'll remember for the right reasons.
Confidence is probably all you'll really need for your first time, that and being aware of what your partner is doing (you could try mirroring his actions if you ever get stuck... for future reference). To practice, what works best is if you make a loose fist... it's oddly similar to a pair of lips when you kiss where the small gap is. Go on being yourself, and when the right guy comes along you'll know it.
(Rating: 5) that was amazing
your sooooo right
thanks a ton