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Okay, i'm trying this new thing were everyday i think of the good qualities of myself. And it seems to be working, i am more confident in everything! So then everything is great, until i get to school. I Love my friends. But all they do is put themselves down! One of my friends the other day, all she said almost all day was "Im Fat. I need to lose weight." and i kept telling her she doesnt. But when she keeps saying it, i feel the need to put myself down aswell, like say, "No your not, i am". And i want to be able to stop doing that. I dont know if this question makes much sence, but i tried. What im bascially saying is, How can i get myself to stop putting myself down infront of friends who put themselfs down.
lol that didnt make sence XD (link)
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Putting yourself down isn't the only way to make them feel better bout themselves.
You should teach them to be confident, the way you taught yourself to be confident. Making people feel confident isn't bout comparing yourself to the others and trying to outdo one another. If you were to see putting yourself down as a way of bringing up their self esteem, then you're only helping them momentararily. Once your friend mixes around with other people, she'll start complaining again and wat you did last time will encourage her to expect that the others should also put themselves down in order for her to feel better. I know this sentence is a bit long and hard to swallow. But I hope you get what I mean.
You have to tell yourself first that by putting yourself down infront of them, only makes them feel better temporarily and what's worse, it makes you feel even lousier.
Next time, rougly ponder over what you're gonna say when your friends start putting themselves down. Tell yourself not to degrade yourself infront of them. While pepping them up, if you feel that you're gonna start degrading yourself again, then keep quiet. Don't say anything. Silence is golden at such point in time. Keep encouraging her and tell her, if she feels fat, do something, complaining isn't gonna get her anywhere. Tell her what her good qualities are. And keep reminding her of those qualities instead of bringing yourself down everytime she feels sorry for herself.
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