My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
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Ok.. where to start. This could relate to a lot of categories so please just bare with me.
I'm in a bit of a situation. I'm 19 years old, female. I have a boyfriend of two years. He's nearly 21 and I live with my grandparents.
First of all my grandmother is extremely strict on me. Curfews and things like that stopped when I turned 18 last year. Curfews aren't the problem though.
I have been with my boyfriend for two years as I said and she wont let me sleep with him. I have been sleeping with him for the last 12 months. He was my first and is the only guy I have ever been with sexually. I did everything right. I am on the pill and we always use protection.
Recently I had enough of her ways and told her how I felt and told her that I have been sleeping with my boyfriend. She completly hit the roof and went off at me and called me a slut.
I honestly don't think I deserved to be spoken to like that. I have spoken to my Aunty a number of times about this so she knows of everything that had been going on between my boyfriend and myself.
I have tried to speak to my grandmother about this and the last time ended up in tears like every other time. She even told me to pack my f*cking bags and leave if I wasn't happy.
The problem is that I don't do anything wrong and she still seems to think I need all these strict rules. I don't. Just because I can think and do things for myself doesn't mean I don't need her anymore. I told her this.
I asked her what do I do that is so wrong.. She couldn't give me an answer. She's only hurting herself because she is pushing me away.
I did well in school, I use to work for a lawyer now I work for a doctor. I don't drink alcohol except for christmas and things like that. I don't go to the pubs every weekend like most 19 year old girls do.
My boyfriend and I love each other very much and just want to be together. We shouldn't have anyone stand in the way of that. We have in the last few months decided that we want to live together and start our life together. We are good people so why does this happen?
What is she protecting me from?!? She tells me that she loves my boyfriend and he is a lovely person. I can't win. I am on the verge of just moving out. I don't know how to deal with the stress anymore. It hurts.
Am I just being selfish or is she just too over protective? I don't want to feel miserbale anymore!
Thank you for taking the time to read this. (link)
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Your Grandmother comes from another generation and in her time sex before marriage was a big taboo. She may well not understand the modern world and how the younger generation behave. She is strict because she is not your mum and perhaps feels the need to lay down the law a little bit harder. Try seeing things from her side and how you might possibly feel if you had a daughter. Until you are a parent yourself you will never really know how difficult it is. I think you need to sit down together and talk without shouting. Ask her to give her point of view without getting cross then ask her to listen to you. Nothing ever remains the same and one day, when your Grandmother is no longer around, you will understand where she was coming from. I do hope that you can resolve this problem so that you both feel happier. Give her a hug and tell her you love her. All the best.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks for the advice. I have tried just talking to her in a mature way and that didn't work. But at least she knows how I feel now. Thank you.
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