My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
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Alright, so.. my grandma died.. and I really really really loved her. I'm crying my eyes out right now, and I feel so incredibly horrible. All she wanted to do was see me, but I couldn't make it.. I really couldn't without jeopardizing my own life (long story, but trust me there was no way) and my mother told me that when she heard I couldn't be there, she was extremely depressed.. and died the next day. But now, the real trouble is.. Why didn't I call her?! I guess, in some way I was naive and thought she would get better and I would be able to talk to her later.
But I am so stupid. She didn't get better at all. I can't deal with myself now. I feel so guilty for not calling her when she needed me. Of course, I did try several times, and a lot of the times she wasn't home, or they didn't pick up, or something.. And sometimes I couldn't get a phone card to call her.. and sometimes I just had nothing to say.. But damnit, why didn't I call her anyway!?
I hate myself so much.. And I miss her so terribly. Everything reminds me of her too. I don't know at all how to deal with this. I know she's gone and I can't do anything, but.. I am just so so regretful :( (link)
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It hurts so much when someone you love passes away and the guilt we feel is awful. We all regret not doing those things we feel we should have and blame ourselves saying "what if" or "if only I had". Whatever happens in life it is meant to be and remembering your Grandma with love and affection is the only thing she would want from you. Talk about her to your family and friends and laugh about things that you had fun doing together. There will be many, many times in your life when you will feel you have let someone down, but it is only circumstances that will truly stand in your way. If you are meant to be with someone when they pass, or if they need you in times of trouble, fate will always find a way of making sure you are there. Please forgive yourself as I am sure your Grandma would want you to. You miss her so much because you loved her so much, but the pain will pass and you will feel strong again. Have faith in yourself. All the best.
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