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I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR








advice

In December I was best friends with this guy. We're both 16, I'm a girl. Well we were really good friends, hung out everyday even if for 5 minutes, and called eachother everyday etc. He told me in January he liked me but decided he just wanted to be friends. Then he stopped talking to me. I was confused and hurt, after being with him everyday and talking to him, not talking/seeing to him at all was a total shock. Eventually I talked to him about it, and he said he still wanted to be friends/have a friendship. To me, it didn't seem like he was trying, and it still doesn't right now. I tell him exactly, directly, up front what I expect of him, which isn't much, and he never follows through. He calls maybe once every week, and only to ask if he's missed the bus. We hang out once a week, sometimes not at all. I guess I just really miss our old friendship and we've talked about it numerous times, I promise. And it seems while we're talking that he gets it, and the next day usually everything's so much better. But then he starts with his old habits again, and I don't know what to do! I guess I'm just asking did he give up trying to be my friend because he doesn't like me anymore? That's what it seems like to me, but I really need some thoughts here. It's been awhile since January, and I'm still confused why he seems to not be making an effort at this friendship. I'm really hurt, and just need help please.

If you have to "work" at a friendship, then it's NOT a friendship at all.

Friends, lovers, any good relationship of any kind should not be forced to work at it.

It should come naturally and mutually.

Sounds like he feels smothered by you and only wants to be friends but you are pushing for more so he's abandoned the entire relationship to avoid it all.

Give it up. Let it go.

If he initiates contact, okay. If it was meant to
be, it will. If it wasn't-- it won't.

Stop forcing the issue, it's a lost cause.

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(Rating: 5) seriously i've asked this question so many different times, so many different ways, and never gotten the answer i wanted. your advice helped tremendously, thank yo so much!
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