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about
My name is Teza.. short for Tereza. I was born in Croatia and I speak more than one language. I'm 22 years old & I completed 2 college degrees in 3 years. My a bachelors is in Business Administration concentration in Human Resources and my Masters degree is also in HR.
I started this advice column about 9years ago and I was so young but it was something that I always loved to do. I am trying to get back to answering questions, at least a few per day. With that said, if you have questions about school, friends, make up, etc., feel free to ask.
Much love, Teza
advice
Hello...im 16/f
ok so i have a few things bothering me and i don't know what to do.
First, my close friend has been going out with this guy for about 2 years now. And her bf and i have been really close since they started dating. Everytime they have a problem with each other, i listen and try to fix them back again. Works all the time. They're very much inlove.
Anyways, so me and the guy have been really close. I used to call him every now and then and talk to him about anything. Most our conversations are about his gf. There was never ever a conversation about him (except his feelings about his gf) or me or anyone else.
And he never calls me. And hes graduating skool in a month. =( and im going to miss him soo much! the thing is i know that hes going to go away for uni and i know things are going to change and hes never going to call or email or talk on msn. Even though i tell him to, i know he wouldn't. And i want him to stay in my life.
Ok so the things that are bothering me are:
- Why won't he call me? Or keep in touch with me?
- I want to have a conversation that isn't about his gf.
Second, I'm really afraid of change. So many friends are leaving. I don't want to start over again and try to find new friends. When i was in grade 7 and 8 i was pretty much alone, didn't have many friends. I was soo sensitive. Anyways i started growing up, and was being less sensitive so people were getting used to me being around. Then i got some friends and started hanging out with them. I've had the same friends for about 4 to 5 years now. And i really don't want to lose them. It was kind of difficult for me; and im so glad i made so many friends, now im friends with most of my grade. I really don't want to lose them.
I have many friends outside school, and we barely talk now because they have "so much work to do". I have a friend who moved to uni 2 years ago. I have 4 friends who moved to a different school last year. I have a friend who moved to a different country. I have a friend who got expelled today. I have 3 friends who moved out of the school this year. ='(
My friends are slipping away slowly and i don't know what to do. No one stays in touch anymore. Even though i try it doesn't work. My parents barely let me go out. And i have one more year and i'll graduate then i go to uni. I find myself going back to square one, where i need to find new friends again. And it's really hard for me, because i don't click with people easily. =(
Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks in advance! Sorry for making it such a long story.
To me, it seems like this guy only talks to you when you needs help with something or talking about his girlfriend. I may be wrong, but if you guys are that close of friends, he would make an effort to talk to you more. Maybe if he starts calling you, he's afraid that his girlfriend might get jelous or something. You need to talk to him about that again and ask. If you want to have a conversation that isn't about his girlfriend, bring up a topic that both of you are interested in and just talk.
I know that change is hard and I'm sure it's like that for everyone but you have to learn how to accept it and move on from it. I understand that it's really hard having your friends move on and leave, but you can't just isolate yourself from other people. You still have time to make new friends. Just because some of your friends are moving to other and bigger thing doesn't mean that you're not going to be friends with them anymore.
People will come and go out of your life, but you have to move on. Friends will come and go but you can always make new friends. Be more outgoing and talk to people. That way they'll get to know. Don't worry too much because it's making you feel worse. Things aren't as bad as you may think. Just look on the bright side of things.
(Rating: 5) Thanks!! That helped!! =) I guess i have to move on when i really dont want to. I'm the only on whos holding myself back =( i just find myself so weak! But anyways thank you !