AskJR's

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I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR

advice

(I’m a Female)

I told Sandra how I have feelings for her for 6 years, we been friends for 8 years. I wanted to let her know about my true self and what was bothering me. (But I wasn’t asking her out.) And I thought it’ll be a good idea to tell her in a chat room because I was nervous talking to her face to face.

I can’t find out who I am yet. I don’t know if I like women because she is the first women crush I ever had. And I only went out with two guys and I never went too far with men and I get curious how it’ll be like.

Sandra answered me in the chat room:
“I’m fine with it, not saying I feel the same way because I really don’t know what gender I like yet, I’m not looking for a relationship at the moment so I not looking a them like that. But I’m fine with it.”

I’m glad that she said that. Right after our chat online she asks if she can come by, so she did.

So the next day she was online and we chat about work and school. I wanted to talk to her about what she meant of her not knowing what gender she likes. We are on the same page trying to see if we both like the same sex or might be bi-curious. I ask her and she responded: “Don’t know. I just never felt a pull towards any direction, to guys but like I said I ‘m not looking for a relationship right now”
She had to get off line (she told me that before I ask the question) because her mother needed the computer. I ask if I can call her and she called me.

I told her “I was just curious of what your reason is,” she said “oh” but I had the feeling she didn’t want to talk about because it got all silent on the phone. So I changed the subject. Why is that? I just want a friend to friend conversation like I do with my friend Eddie who is bisexual. We always talk about same sex relationship and his relationship about his boyfriend. What is the deal?

She obviously does not want to get involved with you (her long time friend) by proclaiming the not wanting a relationship and cutting conversation short once.

She might be in the same boat as you as far as bi-curious and all, but doesn't want the involvement with you-- probably because she is happy with your friendship.

Sex always changes a relationship, especially a long term friendship.

It can end it entirely, very fast.

What would happen if you both persued this sexual relationship and it interferred with the friendship you have now, and she or you, meets someone else, boy or girl?

It's called a "break up" and then, the friendship ends.

Your call.

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