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I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR








advice

Each year, I am usually backstabbed my someone I trusted and was really close with. In 7th grade, my two best friends were after my bf who I was dating for more than 6 months. They made a plan to become friends to make me jealous, and steal my boyfriend and turn everyone against me. Last year was horrible. I moved on, and made new friends. In 8th grade, my good friend who helped me through last year ditches me all the time for my ex-boyfriend, treats me horrible, and talks crap about me for no reason. Well, I basically ended the friendship with her too and she had the nerve to give me back all the gifts Ive given her throughout our whole friendship, I know, extremely childish.. Well, I threw the bag of gifts away and gave it to people I'm trying my hardest to ignore her but it's just so hard since she's basically purposely in my face to make it hard for me. I dont talk to my ex boyfriend from this year because now they are best friends and he hates me. I still talk to my other ex and I'm really good friends with him(for now...) Ok, so now that you know everything, I just dont know how I can basically trust people or even make more friends (which I have already).. If I always end up getting hurt in the end. What should I do? I dont want to end up not having friends because the ones ive dealt with have backstabbed me in the end. But i dont know how I can stay optimitic if I keep getting hurt.
I'm so sorry for it being so long!

First, don't give trust automatically-- it has to be earned by people. Respect yes, but not trust.

People take advantage of trusting people too often.

Be polite and nice to everyone since they all know each other and be the bigger and better person.

Any friends you make from now on must earn your trust over time. Stop giving gifts as you can not buy friends or trust.

Be yourself but be on guard that at your age and your grade there are backstabbers-- it's immaturity and selfishness.

You apparently are more mature and a nice person. So be nice, be the more mature one of the bunch, be forgiving and let it go but learn the lesson not to trust everyone.

Let people earn your trust from here on out and learn to stand on your own.

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(Rating: 5) It's not me giving gifts to buy their friendship, it's gifts throughout our entire friendship which was since we were little kids. All these people I've known all my life, and I know are changing as years go by. Also, most do earn my trust because these friendships that I have with them last for a very long time and they randomly betray me. It's life, I know. But thank you for your answer. :)
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