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Retired Insurance ManagerAge:
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March 17, 2006Answers:
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I've been away for a while due to a serious illness and subsequent health issues. Favourite quotes of the moment:
The children of Israel wandered the desert for 40 years - Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions!
Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. whatever we do to the thread, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. - Chief Seattle.
We spend the first 12 months of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up!
As you slide down the bannisters of life, may the splinters never be pointing the wrong way.
May you be in Heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
I've been very happily married since August 1980 to a wonderful man and have beautiful twin girls, now aged 31. Both are married to wonderful young men and one of our girls has recently made us grandparents to a beautiful, smart and feisty granddaughter. I studied geology with the Open University. I am retired from being a manager in a large UK based insurance company which I actually quite enjoyed. (How sad is that?). I love anything to do with the environment and wildlife and try to do my bit for preservation and conservation. I would like there to be a decent world for our grandchildren to inherit. I also have CFS so find life a bit of a challenge at times but always hope for better health in the future.
I have a deep interest in the spiritual and the paranormal worlds, having experienced several incidents myself, and have been involved in meditation groups and groups that (safely) explore the paranormal. There is more to this life than we would normally credit, so an open mind is always the best option. You're not so likely to get caught by surprise!
I have a deep fascination for anything to do with Ancient Egypt, as you can probably tell by my name. I have statues and paintings all around the house. As my hubby has a similar interest in Native Americans, we tend to have a lot of unusual wall decorations, like a tomahawk.
I love cars, especially vintage ones, but my all time favourite has to be the Bugatti Chiron, what a car!
I have had a lot to do with animals over the years. I have fostered many, helped to set up a wildlife charitable hospital and raised a diverse range of young animals from bats to fox cubs and different species of birds, even a baby deer! I have had great pleasure in sharing my life and home with a number of animals over the years, most of them rescues. I am currently sponsoring an Amur Tiger, they are such beautiful cats and desperately need help, there are so few of them left. I was lucky enough a couple of years ago to meet some Aye-Aye's and Livingstone's Bats, a truly wonderful experience. We now have three cats, Oliver and Mollie, a brother and sister, he's a ginger and she's a tortoiseshell and a black and white called Daisy. She arrived in a taxi and was left on our doorstep in a cat carrier with the message that 'they knew we loved cats and would be good to her'. She has settled down well and gets on wonderfully with the other two.
If you have a pet that is showing ANY signs of illness or distress, please, please, please take it to a vet! Even if finance is an issue, work that out later. It is cruel to leave an animal suffering for any reason. Most animals do not show signs of illness until they have been ill for some time, basic instinct tells them it is a display of vulnerability, and certain death in the wild. Their instincts have not caught up with domesticity.
I do feel that we should all treat others as we would wish to be treated. Bad karma comes back to haunt us.
advice
Hey. Well, I'm thirteen, and I've moved back in with my mom 4 years ago [my parent's got divorced, long story]. Just about half a year ago, my mom and I started to really get on eachother's last nerves. It seems like she never approves of anything I do, like wearing 'dark' eyeliner or painting my nails black. I can't even talk to her anymore becuase it's like she's insane or something. She doesn't listen to me, and yells from the conversation's start to finish. She won't even let me like make a deal with her, like I'll wear lighter eyeliner, but the nails stay black. All she does is comment on how I'm too skinny, or 'goth' or how my behavior changes when I'm with different friends, like they influence how I behave, which is NOT true. She also seems to think I'm like, so slutty, when compared to half the girls in my school, I'm like a saint. And, she thinks that I'm like, a druggie and when I go uptown with my friends from my dad's neighborhood, I'm up to no good.. when I'm not doing ANYTHING wrong. I've never smoked or drank, and I wouldn't, I would never be able to manage getting away with it. The point is, I can't stand my mom, and I can't even talk to her and tell her what's bothering me, or she has a fit over absolutely nothing... I'm not exagerating, either. Please help, I don't want to stress over this, and hate my own mother, but I really can't take her anymore.
And sorry that this is so long, but I REALLYY need some help with this.
Wow, your mother sounds really scared. After everything that has happened, it seems she is terrified of losing you as well. You don't hate her, you hate what has happened between you, and you can't see a way out at the moment.
I don't know anything about the breakup or the area your dad lives in, but whether real or perceived she sees some kind of danger associated with you going there. She knows you better than anyone, and is going to be concerned about whether you are yet experienced enough to deal with some of the situations you may find yourself in.
If talking to each is out of the question at the moment, try writing her a letter. Keep it respectful, state your concerns politely and suggest compromises. Let her know that you are growing up, not away from her. Tell her that you love her and respect her and her opinions but you need some space to grow. Mention that you have chosen this method as you don't want to argue but you both need to establish some ground rules you are both happy with. If she sees that you can take some responsibility, she may calm down a little.
It is very hard these days being the mother of teenage daughters. There are so many things you can see that could harm them, and you worry constantly, it's part of being a parent. You need to understand this to be able to start seeing where she is coming from.
The thing that concerns me most is where you have said, 'I've never smoked or drank, and I wouldn't, I would never be able to manage getting away with it'. Does this mean you would if you could? If so, your mothers' inner radar could be picking up on this and stressing her out more.
You really do need to open some line of communication before it's too late and you both say or do something you are going to regret.
Good luck.
(Rating: 5) Well, I would NEVER smoke, but I may have drank a little if I knew I could get away with it, MAYBE, probably not though.