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I am fairly young (fifteen), but I have been through many things in my life that teenagers may be having trouble with. I am well educated in Mental Health, Web Design, and Fashion, but I also know alot about many other things such as music, movies, jobs, and even (sex). Please visit my WEBZINE which is about a teenage girl magazine for more advice and tips on things.
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Catherine ♥
advice
Okay 25/F here with major realtionship issues. Recently me and my boyfriend of 7 years decided to have a separation, well more like I decided. So he moved out (we own a house together) and I have now been living alone for 3 weeks. The plan was for him to go get help and for me to sort out my feelings and then he would move back in after a month and then we could see how things went from there. So why did we separate? He is very controlling and jealous, he was constantly calling me names and accusing me of cheating, so basically calling me a whore. He say's he doesn't really think I cheat but he just gets mad and that he's jealous of my job, because they get more attention then I do. I am never allowed to go anywhere and have alienated every friend beacuse he thinks that you should not go out unless your significant other is with you. So there's no "girls night" for me. If I even go to the store he clocks me and gets pissed about how long I take. The longer we're together the less I cuddle, kiss or do anything with him at all. The only time I am intimate with him, I am being forced by him complaining and some sense of duty for the relationship. Basically it's aweful and his touch disgusts me now. Despite all his faults he loves me very much perhaps too much and he has always been there for me when I had tough things to deal with. He wants to marry me and have kids but I am not ready for that, I care about him but for some reason I can't seem to marry him. On top of it all I have formed this infatuation for a co-worker and my BF senses their is something between me and this other guy, if he even new about flirting then he would seriously go down there and beat him to a pulp. So our month break thing is almost up, and I still don't know what I want, he has been going to a Psychologist and he recognizes his problems and I appreciate his effort but I can't seem to make myself "feel" and he says that I just don't care, but I do I just can't explain what it is I feel. If I leave him he will serisouly snap, he already threatened to kill himself when I asked for the separation. I don't know what to do, if he really did change will my feelings all come back or did I fall out of love with him and is it too late? Or am I so focused on this other guy that I am not appreciating what I already have. I feel so lost right now. :(
You seem to be torn in many different ways. First of all, I will tell you that he will NOT kill himself if you seperate him for good. From past experience, as much as they say it, they will eventually move on. I think the best thing you can do is leave him. Do it slowly, however, keeping his feelings in mind. He has tried to change, and it shows, but it may be too late for you to change how you feel about him. Try to remain friends, because it seems that he would be a better friend than a boyfriend or husband.
(Rating: 5) defintely helpful thank you!!!