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Q: Ok, there's this guy that I've known for a few years- we were never that close, but we talk in school and whatever. anyways, for like the last 3 or 4 months, he's all my best friend can talk about. She really ♥ him. About a month ago, he told me that he really liked me. I didn't tell my friend until one day she was looking at him and noticed that he was staring at me! that's when i let her know. She was sorta upset about it, but she shrugged it off. she still really liked him. Then on V-day he gave me a present & i didn't want 2 show my friend cuz i figured she would get really upset. Well I couldn't hide it cuz she's in all my classes. that's when she just cracked. She would get really sad every time she saw him, and she seemed really distant. then someone told him that she liked him! so he asked her if it was true & she said yea. So i just feel terrible for her and even tho she says it's not my fault I feel like it is. I was just wondering if you think there's anything i could say/do to help her out?!? this has been bugging me forever! i don't know what to do!
thanks sooo much- sorry for the length!
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Well, just be there for her, you know? There really isn't much you can do, I mean, we all know that it isn't your fault. What you can do:
Steps:
1. Spend time with your friend, ideally in person.
2. Let your friend talk. If he or she is not talking, encourage it. Keep lots of tissues handy.
3. Try distractions. Movies, sightseeing, outdoor activities and games are good possibilities.
4. Indulge your friend with chocolates, massages, facials, shopping sprees - whatever lets him or her concentrate on pleasure instead of pain.
5. Send a card to lift your friend's spirits if you can't be there in person.
6. Be patient. Some things take a long time to get over.
Avoid such phrases as, "There are other fish in the sea." These comments won't be helpful.
Be careful not to bash about him too much. That kind of talk may make your friend distrust his or her own judgment, or distrust yours.
I really hope that helps, I mean, just be there for her, and put yourself in her shoes, and imagine. Let her know you understand, and that you care. Because most likely, deep down, she is incredibly heartbroken. But it's okay. Tell her that. I hope it works out. :)
good luck, hun♥
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Well, I've been trying to spend more time with her this vacation && stuff.
Thanks for all the help!
♥
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bio
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Heyyyy, I'm jess. I love to help other people, no matter what. I've been through enough bs to know when to just stop and walk away. I don't judge; feel free to ask me anything. I have quite the temper. But, what makes me a good advice-giver is that for the most part, I'm genuinely empathetic and willing to help.
(:
I've had a lot of experiences with piercings, bullying, family problems, and even sexual issues (no std's)- but with the emotional part of it. I love music, so I give good, basic advice about that, too. Also, I deal with severe anxiety and depression, and have been in treatment numerous times. On top of that, I have OCD (Obsessive Complulsive Disorder), and because I've been around people addicted to drugs, or cutting, I can help! Just give me the chance.
add me on myspace!
www.myspace.com/itskittybitchx
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Info
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Gender: Female AIM: Member Since: August 1, 2005 Answers: 750 Last Update: January 1, 2009 Visitors: 45601
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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